sageproduct
Banned
i'm in high school real embarassing situation i still haven't kissed a girl. just posted this in my field report but that's in the high school section so here it is.
I don't even know really what just happened.
It has to do with Binny K. She was a girl who I talked about a few times before and marked as maybe possibly having an interest in me. I hung out with her a few weeks ago when I went with the girls tennis team to watch state, and if anyone remembers I nexted her because she seemed too asexual and unresponsive toward my kino and wouldn't kino me back.
So I hadn't really talked to her for the last couple weeks except she would really enthusiastically call my name when I saw her at school. Today I was just chillin at home cuz all my friends are grounded and I didn't really want to go to the football game. At about 8:45 Binny K texts me that she misses me and tells me to go to the game. I'm not complying with her of course so I say i'm busy and use C & F by saying maybe if she's lucky she'll get to see me.
She ends up picking me up from her house with her friend and go back to her house. I had no idea of these plans at all. At 10 her friend says she has to leave, and almost right after Binny K tells me to go up to her room with her.
fvvvvvvvvvvck it's not til now that I realized how planned this whole thing might have been. FVCK!! She had some music going, just really calm music that gets you in a certain mood...we were alone in her room and I made sure to kino her a lot. She responded positively but didn't really kino me back. I was kind of caught here not knowing what to do, because like I explained before I just assumed i was LJBF with her. Dammit!!! We did hold eye contact for long periods of time and I would break away. I kept telling myself I should go for it but with her I didn't want to that much. A million things were going through my head. Every single moment I thought about kissing her I felt too awkward to do it. Our conversation was a really friendly one and I just completely lost myself in trying to sexualize it even subtlely. Note I'm not really attracted to her but at this point I'm trying to get all that I can. Each time, I broke away cuz I felt uncomfortable. She eventually sat on her bed and I sat by her sometimes but kept moving around, put my arm around her sometimes. Then her parents came home and she freaked out for like a split second.
We went downstairs and I talked to her parents for a bit (first time i'd ever met them). Then I realized that I didn't drive there so I asked her for a ride home. By now I did get the hint that she may have interest in me, so I plan to have her walk me to my house and then go for the kiss.
We get to my house and I made the lamest excuse for her to come up with me, it had something to do with an inside joke we have but she said "are you serious?" and went along with it and came outside with me. I made a little more normal conversation and then I started feeling awkward. I said "well i gotta go now" and moved in to hug her. This was all ok.
(note:I have never kissed a girl and that shold have changed today.)
Then while breaking away I slid my hands down to her waist cuz I read about doing that and started moving in for the kiss. Her eyes were right on me and in a split second it just got really weird in my mind, I couldn't believe what I was doing, I just went past her head to the other side and hugged her again. She made some kind of noise that I can't even remember but it was like awkward. Then I said cya and didn't even look back at her. what the fvck!!!!!!! i'm so mad at myself right now
I don't even know really what just happened.
It has to do with Binny K. She was a girl who I talked about a few times before and marked as maybe possibly having an interest in me. I hung out with her a few weeks ago when I went with the girls tennis team to watch state, and if anyone remembers I nexted her because she seemed too asexual and unresponsive toward my kino and wouldn't kino me back.
So I hadn't really talked to her for the last couple weeks except she would really enthusiastically call my name when I saw her at school. Today I was just chillin at home cuz all my friends are grounded and I didn't really want to go to the football game. At about 8:45 Binny K texts me that she misses me and tells me to go to the game. I'm not complying with her of course so I say i'm busy and use C & F by saying maybe if she's lucky she'll get to see me.
She ends up picking me up from her house with her friend and go back to her house. I had no idea of these plans at all. At 10 her friend says she has to leave, and almost right after Binny K tells me to go up to her room with her.
fvvvvvvvvvvck it's not til now that I realized how planned this whole thing might have been. FVCK!! She had some music going, just really calm music that gets you in a certain mood...we were alone in her room and I made sure to kino her a lot. She responded positively but didn't really kino me back. I was kind of caught here not knowing what to do, because like I explained before I just assumed i was LJBF with her. Dammit!!! We did hold eye contact for long periods of time and I would break away. I kept telling myself I should go for it but with her I didn't want to that much. A million things were going through my head. Every single moment I thought about kissing her I felt too awkward to do it. Our conversation was a really friendly one and I just completely lost myself in trying to sexualize it even subtlely. Note I'm not really attracted to her but at this point I'm trying to get all that I can. Each time, I broke away cuz I felt uncomfortable. She eventually sat on her bed and I sat by her sometimes but kept moving around, put my arm around her sometimes. Then her parents came home and she freaked out for like a split second.
We went downstairs and I talked to her parents for a bit (first time i'd ever met them). Then I realized that I didn't drive there so I asked her for a ride home. By now I did get the hint that she may have interest in me, so I plan to have her walk me to my house and then go for the kiss.
We get to my house and I made the lamest excuse for her to come up with me, it had something to do with an inside joke we have but she said "are you serious?" and went along with it and came outside with me. I made a little more normal conversation and then I started feeling awkward. I said "well i gotta go now" and moved in to hug her. This was all ok.
(note:I have never kissed a girl and that shold have changed today.)
Then while breaking away I slid my hands down to her waist cuz I read about doing that and started moving in for the kiss. Her eyes were right on me and in a split second it just got really weird in my mind, I couldn't believe what I was doing, I just went past her head to the other side and hugged her again. She made some kind of noise that I can't even remember but it was like awkward. Then I said cya and didn't even look back at her. what the fvck!!!!!!! i'm so mad at myself right now
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