"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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fvcked up jealousy feeling

rapsta

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my girl is in chicago right now studying.
so we have a long distance relationship.
she is with this dude right now from her class. she have known him for about 3 months now i guess then, since she started school about then.
she has been watching a film with this dude once before, at her place.
today she is out doing shopping with him downtown, as a friend.
what are the odds she might get interested in fvcking this dude? or anything like that? should i even be jealous?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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frivolousz21

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to be honest

of course there is a chance she is cheating..or wants to.

you need to:

go out meet more women have fun with them

accept the fact that you are young and this **** happens

and 3rd good luck!
 

rapsta

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why do you think she wants to? maybe she just want a friend?
 

Luveno

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From my experience, guys are usually good on their word. If they say they won't cheat, they wont.
Girls, on the other hand, don't give a damn about their word if their emotions get too fired up. How many times have you heard the excuse " it just kind of happened" come from girls who cheat?
If shes hanging out with some guy, shes either using him to get attention she would have gotten from you, or shes having sex with him.
Don't stay in an LTR, they are impossible unless the girl is ugly (and even then...). Go out and do whatever you want now.
 

biker_gixxer

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Originally posted by frivolousz21
to be honest

of course there is a chance she is cheating..or wants to.

you need to:

go out meet more women have fun with them

accept the fact that you are young and this **** happens

and 3rd good luck!
Exactly. Also, something you may need to realize is that long distance relationships don't work. I spent 4 years in the Navy, trust me on this one. You're best bet is to take frivolousz21's advice.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Monkey

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Lets be brutally honest here.

Its most likely that this guy wants to get it on with your girl and the trouble is if you make any fuss over this whatsoever she will rebel, start thinking about him in 'that' way and probably end up with him.

If shes REALLY worth it, all you can do is pull back and play it totally cool and I mean totally cool, don't even mention this guy in conversations, don't ask who he is, or what hes been doing with her.

If shes not worth the effort and inner pain (been there myself and the endless worrying whats shes doing with who can drive you insane) tell her you'd rather give it a break.
 

Luveno

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Rapsta,

Sorry about the news. I know you want to hear the other answer, but it won't come. What happened is definitely not what you wanted, but it is irreversible.
DJism is evidence-based, ie: it puts its knowledge in what is known to happen or work based on the past experiences of millions of men. It doesn't assume or come up with theories out of the blue.
Therefore, when other DJs on this site are answering your question with "she's not worth your time anymore; move on", they are answering with the knowledge of countless other DJs that have been put in the same position as you in the past.
I'm sure you want to hear someone say " Everything is gonna be ok. She really loves you." but it won't happen. Think of it this way: if someone gets HIV, they know they are gonna die sooner than they had hoped. If they asked doctors what would happen to them, theyd all reply with " you have 10 painful years left.". Of course, the infected individual would first deny the prognoses and would keep asking until they got someone who said " youre gonna be ok!". Of course, theyd never get this opinion.
Same goes for your situation.
The truth is hard to take, but once you embrace it your life will be better off. After all, it's just a girl.
 

PoloBlue

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forget her, let her go.

she is definitely getting intimate with the other guy, she probably already screwed him.

dont let yourself get attached.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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DJBen

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If she's got feelings for you - if she's yours - nothing will happen.

If something does happen and you find out, drop her straight off and dont feel bad about it. It just took you a while to see what she's really like.

Sometimes you just need to have blind trust. I'd be more concerned if she didnt tell me and I found out from someone else.

Then again, reverse psychology...
 

jason86

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shes gone downtown shopping with him? looks like the dude is in the LJBF zone, lol.
 

MindOverMatter

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I'm not in Chicago, but the girl I'm fooling around with now has a long distance bf that is oblivious to this. Thing is, he doesn't know about me.

Since your girl told you about this guy, you shouldn't be worried, if she was gonna cheat on you, she wouldn't have mentioned him. But you never know, women all act on emotion and sh!t, she could have hooked up with him.

This is why you don't go for long distance relationships. My advice, break it off and see someone closer.
 

DeathDealer

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Originally posted by jason86
shes gone downtown shopping with him? looks like the dude is in the LJBF zone, lol.
Yeah, downtown as in giving him a blowj0b.

Listen buddy, LDRs usually never work. But I can't tell. Is she calling you every day or every other day for about 5-15 min? If so then that's a good sign she thinks/cares about you. If she doesn't do that maybe she doesn't care about you, maybe she doesn't like you that much anymore, maybe she's banging some guy.

Who knows, my rule is to never get caught up in LDR, I drop them if I can't see them at least once 7-10 days and the drive has to be max an hour long. Why would I want to be in a long distance relationship with a girl that is in another state with me spending time wasting on the phone "talking" when I'd rather be "banging"
 
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