"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Fvcked a cop (venting)

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Stuntmann said:
Watch one about YAC. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj1-218EnvY
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I'll give him his props, the closing of car doors when he's riding was impressive but he's it's obvious that he's wound up WAY tight. Don't know if it's because he's a messenger in NYC or if it's because he's a New Yorker that happens to be a messenger. I'd like to see him compete in cyclocross though.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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God_of_getting_layed

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Deus ex Pianoforte said:
Unfortunately, police officers are required to help EVERYBODY regardless of worth.
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is this a fvcking joke?

cops DO NOT HELP EVERYBODY!

They help only those who they feel like helping, and this is one reason of many why cops are peices of sh1t.

Remember my story on why I commited street justice becuase the cop didnt do his job? I had to take matters into my own hands becuase cops are some lazy pigs.
 
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