Fvck Texting!

[Alex DeLarge]

If you're trying to build initial rapport with someone to get a date, then texting would work out fine. But if you plan to continue the relationship into something else, then start using the goddamn phone the way it's supposed to be used. For talking!

When reading a simple text message, something like "Okay." can be read as the girl agreeing with you, or a *****y toned "OKAY." see what I'm saying?

I've noticed a key problem in most of my relationships has just been TOO MUCH TEXTING. When I hangout with a girl, they have the time of their life. I show them adventure and excitement. Many times I've had girls tell me that I'm just the perfect guy and that I'm everything they want not to sound ****y or anything.. But then they'll text something to me the next day and I'll think "Well what does that mean? Is she saying this or that?"

There's no tone of voice or facial expression behind the message, so you can't really tell.. This will eventually lead to overanalysis of the conversation and you two having a ridiculous fight over nothing.

Here are a few articles to check out backing this argument.

http://www.datingish.com/693354607/how-text-messaging-ruins-relationships/

http://www.cherokeebillie.com/How_to_Ruin_a_Love_Relationship_with_Modern_Technology.html

http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/01/23/us-gadgets-idUSN2221996620080123

http://gaymwalker.blogspot.com/2009/12/texting-ruins-relationships-say-what.html

http://www.personal.psu.edu/afr3/blogs/SIOW/2010/09/does-texting-ruin-relationships.html

 

[Vice]

I'm thinking about writing an article on my experiences of proper uses of texting, there are times where it is useful, and times where it is not. More to come soon. I'll be using my old "Anti-Texting Nazi" posts as well as these articles as citations.

 

[Scars]

I agree, but when it comes to a girlfriend scenario I usually had them trained pretty well. After a few times of sending "Why you being short with me?" they quickly learn to follow it up with something interesting or at least put some emoticons in there. I'm also pretty horrible about texting people back. All my girlfriends were trained to text me as soon as they woke up, so I actually avoided phone conversations unless it was important or I wanted an immediate response like a meet up.

Sometimes the distance can actually aid you, depending on your circumstance, the girl, and what type she is.

-Scars

 

[zekko]

If you're trying to build initial rapport with someone to get a date, then texting would work out fine. But if you plan to continue the relationship into something else, then start using the goddamn phone the way it's supposed to be used. For talking!

Words cannot describe to you how much I hate telephones. Most annoying machine ever invented. If I want to talk to someone I prefer to do it face to face.

As for texting, I think it's a matter of personal preference. Some guys like to text, some don't. Do whatever YOU want to do, it isn't going to make or break you with some girl. And if it does, so what?

 

[Aaron B]

If you have the ability to use texting to your advantage then obviously you should use it.

If not, don't.

In my experience, the average AFC is going to hurt his cause by texting. Most AFCs don't know what they are doing and would be better served to limit their exposure by not chatting with her in any form.

If you don't have a specific purpose for texting her, that means you are just chatting. Chatting is very unlikely to lead to her spreading her legs for you if you are an AFC. And yet I see AFC after AFC text chatting with girls. I think they do it because it feeds their egos and makes them feel good about themselves.

Its a way they fool themselves into thinking they are having success with girls, when in reality they are simply travelling down the road to becoming another one of her girlfriends.

If you enjoy chatting, that's fine. You can chat with people. Ask yourself this: does chatting with this girl increase or decrease your chances of sleeping with her?

Lastly, chatting is very low impact for her. She doesn't have to devote much energy or attention to it. You don't learn much about her interest level in you. Hell for all you know she's chatting with 3 other guys at the same time she's chatting with you. If she will chat with you for 4 hours but you can't get her on the phone or you can't get her to meet you in person, how are you going to have sex with her? Maybe you would be better served to spend your time and energy on girls who are willing to "put some skin in the game" by actually interacting with you on a level higher than text chatting.

Chatting is a way she can get something she wants (your attention) without having to do much of anything to earn it.

 

[LE6END]

If you have the ability to use texting to your advantage then obviously you should use it.

If not, don't.

In my experience, the average AFC is going to hurt his cause by texting. Most AFCs don't know what they are doing and would be better served to limit their exposure by not chatting with her in any form.

If you don't have a specific purpose for texting her, that means you are just chatting. Chatting is very unlikely to lead to her spreading her legs for you if you are an AFC. And yet I see AFC after AFC text chatting with girls. I think they do it because it feeds their egos and makes them feel good about themselves.

Its a way they fool themselves into thinking they are having success with girls, when in reality they are simply travelling down the road to becoming another one of her girlfriends.

If you enjoy chatting, that's fine. You can chat with people. Ask yourself this: does chatting with this girl increase or decrease your chances of sleeping with her?

Lastly, chatting is very low impact for her. She doesn't have to devote much energy or attention to it. You don't learn much about her interest level in you. Hell for all you know she's chatting with 3 other guys at the same time she's chatting with you. If she will chat with you for 4 hours but you can't get her on the phone or you can't get her to meet you in person, how are you going to have sex with her? Maybe you would be better served to spend your time and energy on girls who are willing to "put some skin in the game" by actually interacting with you on a level higher than text chatting.

Chatting is a way she can get something she wants (your attention) without having to do much of anything to earn it.

I could not agree more with this. In my experience, and observation, the above logic has held up time and again.

 

[st_99]

IMO, phone convo, texting, emails, talking, whatever... the only thing that matters is whats going on inside your head.

Are you approaching the communication with a strong frame or weak? Are you overanalyzing everything because you're worried? because you feel inadequate? because you don't feel worthy? That is really all that matters, everything else is of minor concern.

but yes I totally agree that electronic communication makes it very hard to figure out the tone of the message, humor, serious, indifferent, flirty, etc...

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Yeah, I wouldn't say exactly that I'm AFC.. I'm great with women when we're face to face or on a date. But when it comes to text messages at first I'm very light with them.. Text to set up dates and that's all. But somehow I wind up falling into text conversations which I don't want to do.

I'm a very analytical person, and when I see a message and read it I think of a variety of reasons why the girl texted me the message. In conversation, this does not happen with me ever. Even if I'm hanging out with a girlfriend and she seems to be in a bad mood I can always cheer her up or comfort her easily and get her in a good mood again.

 

[Aaron B]

Alex: if you find yourself "falling into text conversation" its probably because you aren't leading the interactions

You are reacting to her instead of choosing the proper course then acting on it.

In my experience you are better off ignoring or lending little to no credence to 99% of what women say in the first place.

Like you say, text to set up dates and that's all. But obviously its not all if you fall into conversations.

Also I wasn't calling you an AFC. I felt it necessary to draw the distinction because lots of guys here use text as an asset I'm sure. But AFCs usually fail with text. You are somewhere in the middle it seems. Succeeding some of the time and failing some of the time.

I like to watch what women do and then use their tactics when it suits me. So after you set up the meeting via text and she tries to get a chat going, just don't respond, or say "I'm busy ttyl"

After all, when it suits them they have no problem not responding to us.

 

[HalfAddict]

About this, I don't text girls I just met, I just do not do it I refuse to. Thing is people respond to text, and they never answer their ****ing phones lol. Now I will call, if she does not answer I will leave a message once, but I wont be bothered to contact again if she never responds to my call.

Texting is devoid of the emotion that can be subtly communicated via speech. A lot is lost in translation when texting, IM, any of those types of communication are no substitute to a real conversation (especially since you are missing out on valuable face time and KINO!:woo: ). But even phone conversation is preferable to text IMO.

Texting is only good for dates and times (confirmations if you actually buy into that garbage).

 

[Atom Smasher]

Excessive texting can destroy a relationship. A girls interpretation of what you say will be stored in her mind forever. Not what you actually texted, but what she feels you texted.

When you run a company, it's wise to put as little down on paper as possible, as those emails and documents can easily come back to bite you. When you text with a woman, any emotion you incite in her will be remembered forever, and her memory may well have nothing to do with what you are actually articulating.

Use texting as a tool, but never as an extended, light-hearted exchange. That exchange will degenerate into something that is beyond your control every time. That can't happen if you limit it to two or three exchanges, tops. Use with extreme caution.