Fvck buddy is about to flake. I need feedback

[El Payaso]

She's coming over tonight and lives 30 mins away. She just sent me this:

Part of me really doesn't feel comfortable going up there just to fvck.

I haven't replied yet. I know it's her ASD. What do I say to make her want to come?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I think it's a $hit test, so:

"Okay"

Otherwise, you could call her up and talk to her: "you don't want to come? it's up to you?" that kind of thing might work.

Or, the "okay", is the indifferent Alpha move.

Convincing her logically or the indirect emotion driven route.

Or, you could say: "hey, I wanted to watch *insert movie title* anyways....." something like that, to appease the ASD for the time being.

not 100% on this, throwing some options out. Your choice here, unless someone else can think of something else.

Personally, depending on the chick, I'd go with the "okay", her hamster would go spinning, might catch some flack, but as long as you kept your frame, I think it would be better for the long run.



How long has she been your FB?

 

[gravityeyelids]

That's tricky. I kinda agree with what peaksandvalleys said though.

You cant ignore her...but send something that shows you;re not phased and something to let her know that she indeed is a fvckbuddy and you have no intention of changing that, and if she doesnt like it she doesnt have to see you anymore. My brain is dead, so any other guys here have suggestions?

 

[Jaylan]

I second the movie idea. Say that, and enjoy the evening and escalate. What shes telling you is that you need to make your hangouts not only about sex. Sure you can be FWB, but girls dont wanna just have sex and then bounce all the time.

If thats how your arrangement generally is, I think shes signaling that you will be losing the sex soon.

 

[rascal99v]

She's coming over tonight and lives 30 mins away.?

you sure she's coming?

Part of me really doesn't feel comfortable going up there just to fvck.

I haven't replied yet. I know it's her ASD. What do I say to make her want to come

What she has to say is irrelevant. As long as she is coming, she is going to fvck. Tell her you want to go out for a drink. Then when she gets to your place, have some drinks already made. Throw a movie on and say "I've haven't seen this one yet, don't tell me how it ends". She will then be comfortable for the night to fvck. The point is to get her to your place, so she doesn't feel ike a slut. But the slut will come out after she is there. Go for it man

 

[hockeyfreak79]

How many times has she already driven to your house just to fvck? Broads can just be straight up lazy, that's all this comes down to probably.
The movie idea is okay, I agree some want that too. Lol I pulled that for awhile and then my FB brought up the idea & said we should just skip the movie and get down to business! Hellz yeah....

Jaylan made a good point, don't let this sh*t get stale, gotta give it to her really good! But yeah if it does so what, time for a new challenge.

 

[TheCWord]

I second the movie idea. Say that, and enjoy the evening and escalate. What shes telling you is that you need to make your hangouts not only about sex. Sure you can be FWB, but girls dont wanna just have sex and then bounce all the time.

If thats how your arrangement generally is, I think shes signaling that you will be losing the sex soon.

This is an interesting point, Jaylan. I have a new FWB who I'm sure will eventually get tired of our hangouts only being about sex.

But how am I supposed to mix it up with a girl who I don't want to date, only f---? If I'm dating a girl, we'll go out to dinner, drinks, movies, activities, whatever... But if I start doing that with FWB, she'll start thinking it's turning into a courting relationship and I do not want that misunderstanding.

 

[Jaylan]

^Well think about what FWB means. Its friends with benefits. And most women dont wanna feel like sluts who you dont respect, that just come over for sex and thats it.

You dont have to do dinners or anything like that. But you should go out for fun nights out once in a while. Id say split it between movies/tv at home, and going out for drinks and dancing. Just fun stuff.

FWBs rarely last long periods of time. The times where I have seen it last long stretches is when the man and woman respect one another as friends...thus hang out and do things from time to time (not so serious stuff), and accept the hooking up arrangement when they both happen to be single.

The problem is that its rare that neither the man nor woman catch feelings, be they good or bad....ie someone liking the other person or someone feeling like they arent respected.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Definitely a sh!t test. Alpha way of handling this situation:

HB: Part of me really doesn't feel comfortable going up there just to fvck.
DJ: Your are right. Bring some food too!

 

[TheCWord]

Definitely a sh!t test. Alpha way of handling this situation:

HB: Part of me really doesn't feel comfortable going up there just to fvck.
DJ: Your are right. Bring some food too!

^Mic drop

 

[lgbs2004]

Definitely a sh!t test. Alpha way of handling this situation:

HB: Part of me really doesn't feel comfortable going up there just to fvck.
DJ: Your are right. Bring some food too!

Bring the movies!

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

This is an interesting point, Jaylan. I have a new FWB who I'm sure will eventually get tired of our hangouts only being about sex.

I wouldn't be so sure. As long as you're laying it down, sometimes that's just what they want. Simple, like you said, no confusion. If it starts out as something more that's one thing, but turning a pure physical relationship into even a hang out and watch a full movie relationship can fvck with the dynamic. That's what I've been figuring out anyways. Of course FB relationships usually have an expiration date, but I'd like to get the most out of em, not end things prematurely if I can. But hey, if you want to be a test subject CWord, wouldn't mind seeing if you could prove that theory wrong, seriously.

I'm wondering if that's what's happening here with the OP, if he needs to keep her on course, or just let this one play out, which IMO, will end things all together.


Edit on below: Threw us a curve ball OP, but nicely played, standard case of ASD like you had thought.

 

[El Payaso]

WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW. I don't know what to say right now. Lmfao. Let me just gather my thoughts for a moment then I'll post an update. For now, I'll just say thank you very much to everyone that replied.

I couldn't respond earlier because of the 24 hour limit thing.

 

[El Payaso]

This girl was actually coming over for the first time. I only said fvck buddy because I've never taken her out on any dates, sex is the only thing we've ever talked about and that's all I want between us. Sex. No relationship nonsense. Just sex.

I read some of the responses and decided to use the movie and drinks idea someone posted. This was the convo after she sent that message about not really feeling comfortable coming to fvck:

Her: Part of me really doesn't feel comfortable going up there just to fvck.

Me: Hey, I wanted to get some coffee with you at xxxxxxx. I know it's a bit too hipster but they serve the best hot chocolate I've ever had. I want you to try it too. Then I was thinking we could catch that new Leonardo DiCaprio movie that's showing in theaters. <-----My reason for saying this was plausible deniability. Man, I've learned so much from this site.

Her: And then what?

Me: Getting something to eat or dropping you home. I have a rule: I don't have sex with girls I just met. I only said "if you get lucky, I'll fvck you" because I felt a really special connection with you. <---- My reason for saying this was to reframe the conversation and make it feel like I'm the "slvt".

Her: Really? Okay. I guess I'm just a little nervous. I haven't left yet.

Her: Can we make it 30 mins late? I'm sorry. I was going to chicken out.. but you saying that makes me feel so much better.

Me: 30 mins late sounds fine to me, babe. This is the address: xxxxxxxxxx

Her: Alrighty, darling. I'll see you then.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We met at the coffee place, bought some drinks and walked around the area for a bit then I asked her we should go check out the movie before the theater closes. She said "Let's just go to your house and watch a movie instead".

You all know what that means. Ended up banging her for four hours. She gave amazing head like no tomorrow. During a break, she asked me what's the naughtiest thing I like doing while fvcking. I told her I'll let her know when she's ready (this was just to generate mystery). She kept pleading and begging with me to tell her but I told her to be a good girl and wait. She asked is it anal? I gave her the same answer to wait.

We started fvcking some more and she told me to stick it in her bum. As inviting as it looked, I didn't want to do that so soon yet so I told her no. When she was about to leave, I fvcked her some more on my stairs.

I even tore a small hole in her jeans and finger fvcked her some more on the stairs. I told her never to fix that hole and walk around in that jeans. She should always remember it as the guy who tore a hole in her jeans with his fingers and made her squirt.

I recorded some bits of us fvcking and she begged me to send them all to her phone as well. Fvcking slvt.

Man, thanks for the movie and drinks idea. I got work in the afternoon so I have to grab a few hours of sleep if I can.

 

[TheCWord]

El Payaso is a rock star.

I'm going to give you a 99.99% on this one, my man. You lose .01% for not fcking her in the ass when she offered.

 

[lgbs2004]

This girl was actually coming over for the first time. I only said fvck buddy because I've never taken her out on any dates, sex is the only thing we've ever talked about and that's all I want between us. Sex. No relationship nonsense. Just sex.

I read some of the responses and decided to use the movie and drinks idea someone posted. This was the convo after she sent that message about not really feeling comfortable coming to fvck:

Her: Part of me really doesn't feel comfortable going up there just to fvck.

Me: Hey, I wanted to get some coffee with you at xxxxxxx. I know it's a bit too hipster but they serve the best hot chocolate I've ever had. I want you to try it too. Then I was thinking we could catch that new Leonardo DiCaprio movie that's showing in theaters. <-----My reason for saying this was plausible deniability. Man, I've learned so much from this site.

Her: And then what?

Me: Getting something to eat or dropping you home. I have a rule: I don't have sex with girls I just met. I only said "if you get lucky, I'll fvck you" because I felt a really special connection with you. <---- My reason for saying this was to reframe the conversation and make it feel like I'm the "slvt".

Her: Really? Okay. I guess I'm just a little nervous. I haven't left yet.

Her: Can we make it 30 mins late? I'm sorry. I was going to chicken out.. but you saying that makes me feel so much better.

Me: 30 mins late sounds fine to me, babe. This is the address: xxxxxxxxxx

Her: Alrighty, darling. I'll see you then.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We met at the coffee place, bought some drinks and walked around the area for a bit then I asked her we should go check out the movie before the theater closes. She said "Let's just go to your house and watch a movie instead".

You all know what that means. Ended up banging her for four hours. She gave amazing head like no tomorrow. During a break, she asked me what's the naughtiest thing I like doing while fvcking. I told her I'll let her know when she's ready (this was just to generate mystery). She kept pleading and begging with me to tell her but I told her to be a good girl and wait. She asked is it anal? I gave her the same answer to wait.

We started fvcking some more and she told me to stick it in her bum. As inviting as it looked, I didn't want to do that so soon yet so I told her no. When she was about to leave, I fvcked her some more on my stairs.

I even tore a small hole in her jeans and finger fvcked her some more on the stairs. I told her never to fix that hole and walk around in that jeans. She should always remember it as the guy who tore a hole in her jeans with his fingers and made her squirt.

I recorded some bits of us fvcking and she begged me to send them all to her phone as well. Fvcking slvt.

Man, thanks for the movie and drinks idea. I got work in the afternoon so I have to grab a few hours of sleep if I can.

Well done!

 

[MtnMan]

damn, nice report.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Beautiful story. Token resistance to meeting up just to bang should always be expected. And you handled it perfectly.

 

[El Payaso]

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