"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Fuzzy Warm Memories

Enigma2517

Don Juan
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So I've been trying to get (back) with this one girl. She's sort of my oneitis but I'm making sure to mack on as many other girls as possible too, just to eliminate as much AFCness as possible. Anyway, we met each other, built rapport very quickly, and finally hooked up at a dance like two weeks later or something that. Then things just kinda fell apart. Not in a bad destructive way more like mixed signals, me not asking her out, her eventually losing interest (or maybe just thinking I don't like her). But either way, its worth one last shot.

Although I hate to think about and rehearse what I'm going to say to chicks (never works, whatever I say on the spot sounds more natural and smooth), I actually thought of something that might be worth contemplating. I was just thinking about why I like this girl and what drew me to her. The little details aren't important but I realized that for most of the reasons I get these flashbacks in my head of the two single times we ever spent time together outside of school. She came over to do a project once and then of course was the dance. Thinking about it makes me mushy with emotion. Things just seemed so carefree and fun those days. Now of course any time we talk theres always a little bit of mutual tension and things like that. I was wondering, would it help to bring up either of those events. Kind of like a "remember how much fun we had when..." reminiscing sort of thing. The project was just a lot of flirting and rapport building, the dance was dirty dancing and making out. Think it would be a good idea to bring up one or both of those?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Enigma2517

Don Juan
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Oh and on second thought this brings up another important question. How do u easy the tension/break the ice in general. This is always where I seem to go wrong. It'll always be rapport rapport rapport hook up and then next day in school or whatever we're like afraid of each other. Sometimes I get the feeling that since I don't ask girls out immediately after the hook up they feel played or something. I dunno...but help me out here.
 
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