FUR: 3 second rule.

[Luke Skywalker]

This is a new FUR - despite the success of collecting an average of two new phone numbers a day after a SARGE, I still think I'm a bit weak in this area.

- That is, contacting a girl within 3 seconds of seeing her.

At Canadian Tire for example, I must have hesitated and talked myself out of approaching virtually everyone there.

Here's some scenerios, a cashier is there, and you dont have anything you are purchasing, can you really go up to a cashier, without a product to purchase in your hand, without her thinking that you are a kook? Or do you just approach her, and tell her to write her number down - or, of course, talk to her? This appears to sum up most of the problems encountered on the 3s approach scenerios.

If I knew the person from before - then it was easier to approach - all I did with them was rap them and then do a #-close. However, for people I dont know, I still have problems cracking the 3s rule and just going up and saying something.

I'm going to try working on this tommorow when I SARGE, and go up to a few people within 3s of seeing them, where there is a practicable opportunity to do so, or someother time soon.

 

[AngelusPUA]

Excuse me for not being a seduction site robot and not knowing all of the acronyms but what does FUR stand for?

 

[Docs]

This is a new FUR - despite the success of collecting an average of two new phone numbers a day after a SARGE, I still think I'm a bit weak in this area.

- That is, contacting a girl within 3 seconds of seeing her.

At Canadian Tire for example, I must have hesitated and talked myself out of approaching virtually everyone there.

Here's some scenerios, a cashier is there, and you dont have anything you are purchasing, can you really go up to a cashier, without a product to purchase in your hand, without her thinking that you are a kook? Or do you just approach her, and tell her to write her number down - or, of course, talk to her? This appears to sum up most of the problems encountered on the 3s approach scenerios.
Man, grab a lighter, candy bar, flashlight, whatever. Their job isn't to stand there NOT running customers though. So grab the damn item, and talk to her. It's not hard.

If I knew the person from before - then it was easier to approach - all I did with them was rap them and then do a #-close. However, for people I dont know, I still have problems cracking the 3s rule and just going up and saying something.
Try some situational awareness, the "what can I use in my enviroment as a pivot to a conversation..."

I'm going to try working on this tommorow when I SARGE, and go up to a few people within 3s of seeing them, where there is a practicable opportunity to do so, or someother time soon.

---

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Excuse me for not being a seduction site robot and not knowing all of the acronyms but what does FUR stand for?

Fvck up report. Everytime I fail to approach a HB ASAP, or within 3 sec, of either a throwaway line, CANNED presentation, or something I found that I can base a convo on, that's a fvcked up approach that's killed on hesitation.

The goal is simply to approach girls within 3 secs, that's all, lots of fun.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

To those who don't understand the methodology of my posts, I'm working on specific areas of weaknesses.

Last week I had contact-close phobia, where I claimed at the start of the thread, I never contact-closed anyone in over three years. Now that thread is closed - there is no more FUR's on contact-closing - I have four #'s I just contact-closed in two days. No problem with that.

This week, I have a 3s approach phobia, that is approaching a stranger or random girl within 3s and saying anything on my mind, or saying a canned opener - alright, working on it this week, maybe I'll have 6 #-closes, or attemtps a day instead of just 2 since I'll be approaching more girls and starting convos.

 

[Lifeforce]

---

So now we're buying stuff to talk to women?


Luke Skywalker-

Why do you need to be an awesome PUA and all that ****, take those one to two numbers and meet the women. I ran around collecting alot of numbers and ended up having to throw them away because they were too many.

And if you approach a chick in a store if there are people in line then you really make it uncomfortable for her because she needs to do her job and do not need some guy trying to talk her out of her number. I've started convos with cashiers before. I stood at the place where they keep all magazines and commented on a funny fact (can't remember now what it was), there were no costumers and I was shopping so I had a little convo with her before I payed for the stuff.

Don't go to a store to pick up women who are cashiers, if you shop there and there happens to be a hottie there then talk to her every time you are in shopping, not long talks, just show her you're interested and look if she's interested back. I always talk to the cashiers and at my store there are two women (that I know of) who talks about me. They say stuff like "I heard you've got a new job/switched gym/etc..." stuff I've never told them but they've said to each other. Some times you go for the number directly other time you should be patient and build up trust before asking them out.

 

[rocky_mtn]

I believe that there is a right way and wrong way to use the 3 second rule.

The wrong way is seeing a hb and then running over there in 3 seconds and talking to her.

The right way is to see hb, then scope her out, is she with somebody especially a bf, husband or kids, then no approach. Does she have a wedding ring on, is strictly focused on getting in and out of the store.

Or is she looking around and notices you, you make eye contact and exchange smiles. Now you have your IOI, and now start the 3 second play clock.

When you are scoping her out, you should also be making observations that you can use as an opener.

just my 2c worth

 

[Luke Skywalker]

So now we're buying stuff to talk to women?

Cashiers are not easy to just go up and talk to, especially if you are not purchasing anything, and the fact that every customer in that store is a c0ckblocker, after all, they just have to go to the cashier to blow you off if your thinking of approahcing.

So, I agree with Doc's point - you NEED A PROP, every PUA had PROPS sometimes, and paying $ 1.00 for a PROP is CHEAP, or $ 2.00 for a PROP is cheap - to talk to women.

You know what, buy a 50 cent lotto ticket - some cashiers have even commented, I came all the way to the store to buy this?

The point is to get the foot in the door - then you start a rap:

The standard approach rap is this: "Do you get tired at the end of the day/shift?" * chick reply "Do you gals ever go on vacation? -- get her talking about vacation - then try to close - or continue talking about if she takes a bath or shower when she gets home, and encourage her to go into the details of how she bathes, etc.... and then close you pervert.

Anyway....

Luke Skywalker-

Why do you need to be an awesome PUA and all that ****, take those one to two numbers and meet the women. I ran around collecting alot of numbers and ended up having to throw them away because they were too many.

But I already meet them, that's why I have their numbers - but I see your point, to be honest, I keep fvcking up on dates - I'm not sure what to do in terms of dating and would likely start a FUR just on dating itself. At least I feel like less of a pathetic loser getting numbers down then by eating the crumbs that fall on the beggar's plate with the online dating nonsence - just to see those dates mostly c&b.

And if you approach a chick in a store if there are people in line then you really make it uncomfortable for her because she needs to do her job and do not need some guy trying to talk her out of her number. I've started convos with cashiers before. I stood at the place where they keep all magazines and commented on a funny fact (can't remember now what it was), there were no costumers and I was shopping so I had a little convo with her before I payed for the stuff.

That's where the PUA comes in - the SKILL, you are not just some other guy trying to take her number - you are the DJ, the PUA, the Prince Charming, Man of her Dreams coming to sweep her off her feet ---- you go up to her and say, "Hi - I'm no ordinary customer here, I'm your Prince Charming and I've come to sweep you off your feet - give me your number baby."

Now, the problem with cashiers is this, if they have no customrs, they sometimes leave their post and go somewhere else, they are not just going to stand there if there are no customers.

Don't go to a store to pick up women who are cashiers, if you shop there and there happens to be a hottie there then talk to her every time you are in shopping, not long talks, just show her you're interested and look if she's interested back.

That's sarging though. If I'm in the area of a store, say like a plaza, or place full of cashiers or service girls, then obviously, they will be picked on. But, I understand what you are saying.

I always talk to the cashiers and at my store there are two women (that I know of) who talks about me. They say stuff like "I heard you've got a new job/switched gym/etc..." stuff I've never told them but they've said to each other. Some times you go for the number directly other time you should be patient and build up trust before asking them out.

Cool. I'll see if I can follow up on some of the numbers, or leads I have, and C&B them all (or hopefully something better) before I go back on a number campain - but I'm still going to chat up people as I'm in bootcamp week 2.

 

[Lifeforce]

Cashiers are not easy to just go up and talk to, especially if you are not purchasing anything, and the fact that every customer in that store is a c0ckblocker, after all, they just have to go to the cashier to blow you off if your thinking of approahcing.

So, I agree with Doc's point - you NEED A PROP, every PUA had PROPS sometimes, and paying $ 1.00 for a PROP is CHEAP, or $ 2.00 for a PROP is cheap - to talk to women.

You know what, buy a 50 cent lotto ticket - some cashiers have even commented, I came all the way to the store to buy this?

The point is to get the foot in the door - then you start a rap:

The standard approach rap is this: "Do you get tired at the end of the day/shift?" * chick reply "Do you gals ever go on vacation? -- get her talking about vacation - then try to close - or continue talking about if she takes a bath or shower when she gets home, and encourage her to go into the details of how she bathes, etc.... and then close you pervert.

Anyway....

Dude, paying to talk to women is pathetic any way you put it. If you need something to be able to attract women then you are doing something wrong. Work with natural attracting, that will save you both headaches and money. BTW, don't even sarge just to sarge, meet women when you are out doing other stuff. If you're gonna but a book for school and see anyone in the book store, talk to that person. If you're standing at a bus stop and someone stand there, talk to them.

Dude, do not say that **** you mentioned. They'll think you're crazy. You just don't walk up to people and start to to talk to them how they do when they bathe! Talk about vacation if you want and don't ask stupid questions like if they get tired at the end of the shift.

That's where the PUA comes in - the SKILL, you are not just some other guy trying to take her number - you are the DJ, the PUA, the Prince Charming, Man of her Dreams coming to sweep her off her feet ---- you go up to her and say, "Hi - I'm no ordinary customer here, I'm your Prince Charming and I've come to sweep you off your feet - give me your number baby."

Now, the problem with cashiers is this, if they have no customrs, they sometimes leave their post and go somewhere else, they are not just going to stand there if there are no customers.

Ohh, yeah, the PUA, the SKILL.. blah blah..

If you think she'll think that **** about you after speaking for two minutes then you're dreaming. You only need skill if you're too inept to attract people in the first place. Work on your natural attraction (working out, being more social, grooming and SELF CONFIDENCE!). This will attract the women without you having to do something. I know it's tempting to be some PUA, I thought so too, but I found out learnign techniques and skillz are just one big waste of time which you could spend elsewhere on more meaningful stuff. The point is to stop this sarging bull**** and only meet women who show interest in you. If you don't like the women who shows interest in you then improve yourself so the better women show interest.

The women I used to try to SKILLZ over so they liked me I reject today fro being below my standards. I do the rejecting part if I don't like the woman. That's becaue I don't sarge, I meet people and choose which ones I should have in my life. Your mission is not to win the woman over, it is to discover if she meet the thigns you seek in a woman. I expect nothing so I loose nothing if I don't like what I meet.

But I already meet them, that's why I have their numbers - but I see your point, to be honest, I keep fvcking up on dates - I'm not sure what to do in terms of dating and would likely start a FUR just on dating itself. At least I feel like less of a pathetic loser getting numbers down then by eating the crumbs that fall on the beggar's plate with the online dating nonsence - just to see those dates mostly c&b.

Don't get numbers to get feel better, I used to do that too but you're just masking over what you REALLY should do to improve yourself. Be proud on confident in yourself (which you will get from achievements) and you'll have it alot easier to meet women. Do it the other way and you'll end up like this:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=41533

 

[Docs]

Dude, paying to talk to women is pathetic any way you put it. If you need something to be able to attract women then you are doing something wrong.

In this case, you're wrong.

Try walking up to a random cashier without anything to buy and trying to strike a conversation when there's people behind you wanting to also get though. I guarentee you that you will get the blow off. You also are assuming we are buying something just to talk to her, that is rarely the case.

I go to the store and buy food because I'm low, are you saying that I'm pathetic now because I talked to the cashier? There IS a difference between going it out of spite (you are correct to that degree) (who goes to the Canadian Tire just to talk to a cashier...?), and doing it alongside another purpose, such as that you needed something.

It's not the item in question that is the attraction even...?

 

[Lifeforce]

In this case, you're wrong.

Try walking up to a random cashier without anything to buy and trying to strike a conversation when there's people behind you wanting to also get though. I guarentee you that you will get the blow off. You also are assuming we are buying something just to talk to her, that is rarely the case.

I go to the store and buy food because I'm low, are you saying that I'm pathetic now because I talked to the cashier? There IS a difference between going it out of spite (you are correct to that degree) (who goes to the Canadian Tire just to talk to a cashier...?), and doing it alongside another purpose, such as that you needed something.

It's not the item in question that is the attraction even...?

If you actually read what I write you could have saved yourself the trouble of writing this.

 

[rsxtreme]

I believe that there is a right way and wrong way to use the 3 second rule.

The wrong way is seeing a hb and then running over there in 3 seconds and talking to her.

The right way is to see hb, then scope her out, is she with somebody especially a bf, husband or kids, then no approach. Does she have a wedding ring on, is strictly focused on getting in and out of the store.

Or is she looking around and notices you, you make eye contact and exchange smiles. Now you have your IOI, and now start the 3 second play clock.

When you are scoping her out, you should also be making observations that you can use as an opener.

just my 2c worth

good point, just dont wait three seconds and go.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Went to Gym today - scoping out, only two HB's could be found, both wearing head-phones. I did the 'minimum workout' (basically I would have a secure work-out, then will go back again if there aren't enough HB's in the gym to approach, or I'm unable to approach the HB's there due to c0ckblockers or 'shields')

Today I want to talk about 'shields' in the gym. That is when a girl has head-phones on, is reading a magazine, and seems to have her mind basically tuned-off. I went next to a HB and went on the thredmill for 5 minutes to work up nerve to talk to her, but just left after 5 minutes without approach.
Even if I didn't want to talk to her, a 'hi' should at least have been attempted.

But - there was no IOI's, she appeared in her own world, and it felt like it would be an annoyance if I burst into her 'little world' - like what would I say "duh, are you new here?", or "duh, hi, how are you?" - a HB like that probably gets hit on allot anyway.

It's like to me, some girls give off some 'b1tchy' aura about them, some of these HB you can just see the word b1tch written all over them and you dont feel like approaching.

The second HB was a moving target, she went on the threadmills or around there, but I did my own exercise routine I had pre-planned which was in another area of the gym so I did not approach at the time. There were no IOI's. Usually, if I get any IOI's, then I'll make it a priority to approach, and possibly stop whatever I'm doing to make an approach. If there are no IOI's I usually will not inconveniance anything I'm doing.

********

The only IOI's of 'friendliness' came from a couple of mature woman, that, well, I * could * have talked to if I really wanted to. (i.e. ask if they were together, what language they are speaking, if they come up often, their age, if they are married, etc... ) I did talk to an old school friend in the gym.

I have to learn to pursue any and all IOI's in the environment to at least approach and talk. The ones without IOI's, it's a tricky one to deal with.

********

Well - going by the RECYCLE principle, not enough HB's there, or no one else to talk to, means I'll go back to the gym again later to see if any other HB's, MILFS, or whatever is in the gym.

******

RESULTS: IOI'S: 1
APPROACH ON IOI'S: 0
NUMBER OF HB TARGETS: 2
IOI'S ON HB TARGETS: 0
APPROACHES ON HB TARGETS: 0

TIME-ALLOTED FOR APPROACH ATTEMPT: 5 minutes on thred mills.
GAME: Usually approach someone on an exercise machine and exercise beside them to work up the nerve to talk to them. Go in gym, scope out HB's, c0ckblockers, IOI's, etc...

********

 

[donArjun]

good work , skywalker just a fyi, you should keep all your posts in 1 thread, just so we can see the progress

 

[Luke Skywalker]

good work , skywalker just a fyi, you should keep all your posts in 1 thread, just so we can see the progress

Threads are as follows as they deal with different issues, and can identify with people who may also be facing the same issues and want to make a 'search'.

FURS:

- Contact-phobia thread - expired not putting any more post entries as I have obviously broken the ice to ask women for their contact info, and have four #'s. Could be re-opened if no new contact closes occur within a length of time (i.e. relapse of phobia)

People having trouble with contact-closes will find out this thread if they do a search for contact close on title.

- 3 second approach - is sort of a SARGING report thread dealing with issues on approaching girls on three seconds to start a convo.

People having trouble with 3 second rule can find this thread on a search.

FRs:

- Lust War series - deals with my DATING experiences - and at this phase, the only things that have been chronicaled are concepts from HTSWW, with PRIMING and SEDUCTION dates which are being field-tested. The goal obviously is either a LTR, or a k-close/f-close. So far, the concepts of the HTSWW have been helpful at providing structure, and have avoided nasty C&B's on first dates, but further than hasn't been helpful, and I'm just playing around to find a happy medium somewhere.

Those are the Divisions of my threads. The real FR's are in the LUST WARS. The other 'issues' I'm working on - sort of like my own personal 'BOOTCAMP threads are termed FUR and deal with a specific 'BOOTCAMP' related issue.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Got haircut today - went inside mall - no serious sarge attempt made.
A mature UG4 seemed to give some IOI's, but never bothered trying to contact-close her.

- HB(7-8) at dental office - stayed to the point of business - no flirt attempt made. Throwaway lines not used.

- Mature Asian HB7 at store, had a flower on her dress - could have approached her to ask about the flower, if it's real or plastic, thought of it 'after the fact', no approach made.
Throwaway line not used.

- UG 3.5 cashier at counter wearing plastic gloves, I told her "Hey, I didn't know you are a surgeon?" She replied "I'm alergic to handbags", well, at least I cracked something - probably my only accomplishment to 'break out' today. Too much pressure on the line up behind me to press further about her 'alergies'.

- Went to gym again afterwards to lift weights - with hopes more HB's or women would be at the gym - as usual, results are skimpy, didn't find any HB's giving any IOI's, so I just stayed with my exercise routine to build strong muscles and right now I'm feeling strained. Taking some Whey protein or something after this log.

To look for IOI's, I hovered around HB's to see if there was any look or glance at me, and saw no IOI's at all, so I took it easy as far as approach, didn't feel that 'spark' to approach anyone anyway, or even horney for that matter.

One HB was lifting some weights ahead of me, and I was seated direcly opposite to her in such a way I was facing her while she was working out. She glanced at me, but it appeared to be to ambigious for an IOI, no smile or other attempt to connect with me over the floor was made, so I just continued with my workout.

I decided to lift a bar without weights for about 20 reps beside her, I said what the heck, I have no muscles. After I was done, I saw that it looked like she was smiling or laughing at something, of how I struggled to lift a bar without weights on it. Total dweeb. Got out of there really fast. I did this as an exercise to show I dont care what girls think that my muscles are weak and flabby.

**********

IOI's: 1 <mature UG4> ambigious.
HB's: 2 <not gun-ho over any of them>
APPROACHES/FLIRTING ATTEMPTS: 1 <on a UG>

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

- UG 3.5 cashier at counter wearing plastic gloves, I told her "Hey, I didn't know you are a surgeon?" She replied "I'm alergic to handbags", well, at least I cracked something - probably my only accomplishment to 'break out' today. Too much pressure on the line up behind me to press further about her 'alergies'.

You can't use negs on UG's, they already know they are lacking in the looks department, you will only come across as insulting to them.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

You can't use negs on UG's, they already know they are lacking in the looks department, you will only come across as insulting to them.

Got it.

Let me think of a few throwaway lines for UG's that wont insult them:

- throwaway compliments about their hair or anything - any compliment.
- if they are serious, ask them how much would it cost for them to smile, then if they do smile, compliment the smile.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Noticed Sampuendo's Gym thread and am going to list it here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=94423 and will adopt all the suggestions he claims worked for him in the gym environment.

Furthermore, I've also noticed an e-book, called "Make Women Laugh", and I can say, that I'm seriously thinking of buying it. If I have confidence in making women laugh within approaches, or being a 'funny guy', then it would probably make approaches easier to do rather than a problem that is seems to be now. It claims to be a 60 day refundable money back guarantee.

I remember AngelusPUA said something about some comedy type of books he read to help him with his humour - so obviously, I may check with my library first to see if there are any books on creating humour before buying into this.

However, I think I'm going to have to think about where I'm going in a month as my parents are thinking of taking me to Italy - so I'm likely going to have to shut-down again and put things into their bare perspectives.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Yet another FUR today.

Too chicken to approach anyone and follow this 3 second rule.

This time, I had to do some business, saw an Asian HB6.5 next to me, and I just didn't have the nerve to do anything. I was thinking of the pick-up line "Excuse me, do you know how much a Polar Bear weights?" --- "Just enough to break the ice (smile), my name is etc..."

Second time I was at the counter talking to someone who looked a bit like "Madonna", stayed right to business, didn't make any comment or any attempt at play-flirting, believing I just 'had' to attend to seroius business.

Afterwards, a whole SOLO-SARGING effort was made during a whole lunch hour between 12-1:30, where I targeted government buildings, and nearby malls around the offices, and just felt too ackward to approach or talk to anyone. I was just scoping around the area like a probe, worried that people would recognize me, and ask me what I am doing, or that people would start to recognize that something is out of place here.

I sat at a table, picked up a newspaper and just started reading, so as not to continue walking around like a maniac. I was looking to practise on someone with the throwaway line "Excuse me, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, I was wondering if you could help me with a question that I'm having, Would you happen to know much a Polar Bear weighs?"

However, at the time, I was just thinking of approaching someone and saying, "Excuse me, How much does a Polar Bear weigh?" I was totally uncomfortable using it because it sounded too 'pick-up' line-ish, but now I'm thinking if I put on a bit of an act, like I'm sounding like I'm lost and have a serious question, just to have a comic relief ending 'Polar Bear' 'break the ice', then it could work, so I may try it again.

But, just approaching people like a maniac and doing this, I'm not sure, it's like when I pass a girl once, and she sees me, and I dont do anything, if feels ackwards if she seems me 'loitering' a second and third time around her waiting to get something out.

**********

OBSTICLE PATH ON APPROACHES:

Girls seating down - some where all chairs on table are occupied.
Can not approach when they are seated down - just couldn't do it.
Took approach outcomes too seriously, and just basically talked myself out of doing virtually EVERY approach.

*************

THE PICK-UP LINE ABOUT POLAR BEARS - RECOMMENDED BY mASF as a great PICK-UP line - but it's not me to use pick-up lines on women - but we could still stage it or practise it out-loud so it's less ackward.

However, it's just still difficult to approach someone out of the blue and just ask that. "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, (group or singularly), I was just wondering if you happened to know how much a polar bear weighs?"

"Enought to break the ice -- Hi, I'm xyz, (flash a business card), and what's your name? '

I think the dramatic impact and humour packed into this can have a real heavy impact one way or the other, Approach is serious, but it just falls apart in some comic spiral.

*************

There was one couple of girls that I felt somewhat more comfortable approaching for some reason. You could see her panties right through her see through vest right up her behind and I wanted to try a rap on her, but just couldn't do it, I mean I'd be walking behind her.

******************

With the exception of a 'hi' I said to someone who ignored me and walked by, results to date were an ABSOLUTE FAILURE. Virtually no IOI's, and I just felt lost, and too serious to make any approaches - about 2 hours spend on this SARGING.