"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Funny T-Shirts

TheMaestro87

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2007
Messages
85
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0
Location
Davis, CA
A friend and I are planning on making some funny t-shirts to wear around and maybe sell. If you have any funny ideas you'd like to see on a shirt, post it. If we use your idea, we'll send you one free :)

Example...

"This shirt is my wingman"
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Potbelly

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 17, 2006
Messages
820
Reaction score
7
Location
USA
Hey how about:

"Suck my ****." With an arrow pointing down towards your d1ck. And on the back you can write "Lick my azz."
 
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