"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Funny (new to me_ situation, need advice.

kraytkiller

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Found a cutie on OLD, got her number... here's when it got abnormal.

Me: 'I was planning on going to a hookah bar tonight.. I've been randomly trying out different ones in the area. You should join.

Her: I would love to, but I'm broke at the moment from moving. Maybe after I get my last paycheck from my old job?

^- This was weird. Thoughts? I can't tell why she said this. Maybe trying to not frame it as a date? So I probed:

Me: Oh are you an old fashioned woman who pays for herself?

Her: Not necessarily but I don't have a CA license yet so I can't even drive out anywhere, so I'd have to cab it or something.

Her: But yes, I usually do because I'm stubborn.

Me: Oh I see.. Well luckily I drive.. And hookah is a group thing so I'll pay just as much for both of us as I would for just me your efforts are futile. Your coming. Lol

Her: I think I might be able to arrange that. What time?

Me: 9:30

Her: Okay, and where would we be going exactly?

^- Kind of weird. Buuuut I did meet her like 10 minutes ago, so...

Me: ____ in ____

Her: Okay. I'm not sure how well tonight will work out cause I've got an interview in the morning so I do need to get to bed at a reasonable time. But I will think about it yeah?:)

^- she had previously mentioned this before, when I had asked her how her schedule looked for the week.

Me: Ok

Her: I would really like to go, it just finding a job soon is super important to me right now.

Me: That's fine. I'll be going still. Let me know if you change your mind.

Now here's the funny part... I went out, picked up some food, came back, looked at my profile... she had checked me out sometime between our message exchange and now.

(40 minutes later)

Her: If I don't go tonight we should do something else soon yeah?



I haven't replied. Thinking of replying maybe closer to the time I'll be 'heading out'. Any advice for this? I think her IL was low, (no attempt to reschedule) she saw me, got attracted, wants to meet up again and not ruin it...

Going to make her sweat a bit
__________________
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Suspens

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Classic test. You could try any of these:
  1. Desperation "Er why?! I was looking forward to this:( "
  2. Indifferent "yeah"
  3. Immature and butthurt -not replying at all
    [*]DHV "yeah. Not very soon though as I will be on a trip to ' insert the name of a cool country/city here' the day after tomorrow"
 

kraytkiller

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Good examples -- Im thinking im really internalizing this DJ stuff because everything but DHV seems dumb to me :p

Thinking of mixing 2 and 4... in an hour or so, give her a response 'Yeah, I'd like that. My week is kind of busy but maybe sometime this weekend' and then follow up friday or something with a date plan.

Feels kind of desperate agreeing to meet up again, so soon after her semi-bad behavior.

Maybe just 'Yeah, I'd like that' and just text her another day with plans.
 

kraytkiller

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So I decided I was overthinking it, probably was, but a little strategy is always good amirite...

Anyways, I went with 'I'd like that :)' after about an hour.

By sending that, I tried to:

Convey a bit of value by framing it that she was pleasing me
Sent a smiley face to show a happy emotion as a reward for her offering herself a second time, unprovoked (good behavior)

Of course, I'm probably the only weirdo who sees it like that (but who knows, women see things differently) but it really doesn't matter, I'll hit her up on friday and schedule a date for the weekend.

Anyone with any other opinions on this or the OP, let's hear it though. Good info for next time I encounter this
 

guru1000

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No response needed. Text her in a week if YOU decide to give her another invite.

If it were me, I would flush the number down the toilet. If a girl doesn't FULLY open the door, I close it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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kraytkiller

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guru1000 said:
No response needed. Text her in a week if YOU decide to give her another invite.

If it were me, I would flush the number down the toilet. If a girl doesn't FULLY open the door, I close it.
If only I was such a fvking boss. Haha (not kidding)

Unfortunately I'm just now building up my plate rotation so keeping her around and simply playing the game for a while... is my only option to see any kind of results right now. Atleast until I have a pocket full of HB 7+ lol.

What interesting advice. I can't imagine (yet) what it's like living your life LOL
 

Suspens

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kraytkiller said:
Unfortunately I'm just now building up my plate rotation so keeping her around and simply playing the game for a while... is my only option to see any kind of results right now. Atleast until I have a pocket full of HB 7+ lol.
Well she has to accept the 'plate' status to begin with. Right now she doesn't fit into that category. Just a random, unstable attention-hoe hoe found via OLD who apparently is not very enthusiastic about going out with you.


Your first text opener was solid, direct and to the point.


And a simple "yeah" is a vague, indifferent and short response. Specially if you don't text her after that and go do something else for that night.
 
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