Funny feelings

[amoka]

This is a "funny" feeling because I just don't know how to describe it. The girl I used to date on/off for 2yrs + and remain "friends" with occasional sex just told me she found someone that she'd like to date. She went out once with this person for a 'drink' and when I ask her she told me there is nothing between them because he is "much older than her". Today I went to her house and when I was about to leave she told me she plans to "date" this guy. She is a good girl but her past history makes it difficult for me to continue dating her.

Anyway, I don't really want her back (because I was the one that dumbbed her several times, and still have the potential of getting her) but it is just weird knowing to let her go like that. Just wanted to share and see what the expects have to say and if anyone can relate.

Peace.

 

[djzulu]

I was in a similar situation a few months ago - was spinning 3 plates for a long period of time. One of the plates, my favorite, told me one day that she found a guy and she has decided to go serious with him and therefore we can't meet any longer.

It was very difficult to hear that - especially since we did have some kind of connection - and I tried really hard to get her back. Obviously, I was not acting rationally, since in the past I dumped her twice (same as your story) and she was really hurt.

Bottom line, there is a reason that you never committed to her - therefore you must move on. Had you really wanted to be with that girl, you would have never dumped her in the first place.

The story is much more complicated, at least in my case I let things get out of hand, but the bottom line is that we have to move on.

Please let me know your thoughts too.

 

[amoka]

Yeah... to make matter worse, well I went out last night and got so drank that I had to be taken to the ER. She got called and she came over and stayed with me until I was discharged from the hospital. When I got home, I went to her place and probably started cursing her ( because I was drank and did not know what the heck I was talking about). She managed to call one of my friend to come get me or else she would call the police. My friend came over and got me when he told me this, I got pissed off the most with her. I know it was stupid of me to be so drank but I never expected her to try calling the police on me. I had cursed her out before but she never thought about calling the police on me.

 

[decades]

it seems to me you have some hurt inside unrelated to her. I would investigate abandonment issues.

 

[djzulu]

The best thing to do when something like this happens, is to focus on what you love doing and fill your day up with activities that make you happy.

Try to avoid going to bars and getting drunk - it will backfire, as it surely did. But we must look forward, not back: maybe start doing something that you've always wanted to do - go on a trip, take classes etc. just take action.

 

[amoka]

yeah... this is a terrible feelings. she took care of me while I broke up with her and was at the hospital.

 

[speed dawg]

What part of "cut ties with your ex" do you guys not understand? NOTHING good can come of it. If you and her were meant to be friends/lovers/etc. you never would have broken up. Get over it, quit talking to her.

 

[amoka]

Actually, I feel great now after reading other posts in here. It is good to be "regular" at the forum; else you may drift.

Thanks.