Funniest/Dumbest stories revolving pick-up and women

[Scars]

Back in my early days I was really hurt by a girl I was pseudo dating. I brought her to a party with me and she went on to fvck my friend after I told her I didn't want a serious relationship. Yeah, it sucked. So I went and fvcked her friend that was there too. But that's not the story.

The story is that the next day, I was forced to ride in a car with my friend that fvcked her and her. (Was probably 17-18 and had no vehicle at the time) Needless to say, it was the most awkward car ride ever, after busting the door down while they were in the bathroom together and trying to kick my friends ass with his penis still exposed.

Anyway, during the car ride I decide to text a female friend of mine. She's a lesbian, but cool as ****, pretty much one of the guys. I explain my situation and tell her what's going on then ask her to call me pretending to be some chick I've been talking to and flirt with me.

So she does.. we have a couple minutes talking back and forth.. a lot of "I miss you's" and "can't wait to see you's" in front of them both.

Did it work? I don't think so.. but it seemed like a good idea at the time. The girl came back around eventually and I boned her one last time, but it wasn't until a good solid 2 months of no contact.

Lol.

Another funny story is when my buddy set-up a a meet up with two chicks for himself and me. Essentially, I was on a "blind date" with a girl that he met online and her friend.

We get there and there's two chicks, one hott, one ugly. I assume the ugly one is for me and that I have to play "wingman" for the night and keep her occupied. Cool with me. So I try and talk to her and I get major resistance, all the while, the hott girl is pressing on me hard.. I'm just like wtf?

So anyway, it was a pretty awkward meet up to say the least. It's like both of our chicks switched, and my buddy is getting hella uncomfortable.

We end up leaving.. I later find out, that his online chick had "the angles", so the ugly one was his. And the hott one was mine. Damn..

Not only that.. but the reason he wanted to bolt so quick was because he sent me a text that said "Myspace is a let down.." except, he didn't send it to me. He sent it to that girl.

Lmao.

Anyone else have any stories like this?

Reminiscing like a mofo over here..

 

[Scars]

Here's a couple others..

Was out of town with my wingman one night, and we were party hoping with two chicks that we just met. I'm driving and eventually I get lost, I pull over and we all decide to just chill cause we're all too drunk to even be driving. I'm boning my chick in the front seat and my wingman is getting to town on his girl in the backseat. Eventually we all start falling asleep, except my girl reaches in my center console and starts chugging my cologne (which I later found out she thought was alcohol). She didn't die, just puked all over my car.. which we had to deal with until the sun came up and I finally drove us all home.

My first underage consumption was also in the same town. I went back for my court date, and while I was there I recognized one of the girls from the party. I chat her up.. and we exchange numbers. Two weekends later I'm back in town doing the same sh!t. We have plenty of drinks but no place to go. I'm with my buddy once again and his chick is with us. His chick says she knows a place we can go so we can go.. apparently it was a friend of her moms. We roll up and the house is huge. Awesome. What I didn't realize is that it was owned my several room mates, and each level was opened by different people. We met some mexican guy on the first floor who apparently was a meth dealer, and got all crazy when he found my buddy boning his girl on his pool table. I felt adventurous, so I explored a bit and found the second floor was owned by a guy who used to do porn. He actually put on one of his movies and said "that's my d!ck!".. (I wish I was making this sh!t up, but I'm not..) Third level was owned by some cougar.. she had more beer and her own fridge so I grabbed a few with my girl at the time and the chick seemed cool, then she puts on guitar hero and lets us both play, then while we both played she would reach her arms around us and try to "show us how to play".. I was pretty young at the time, but I imagine she was probably a swinger or a freak. The fourth level was the only guy who seemed normal. He told us "I have plenty of rooms, just pick one.." or something a long those lines, so we did and I ended up boning that chick I met from court for the first time and it was great and crashed in the room. Like I said.. he seemed normal, but judging by all those other weirdos he probably had cameras in every room or something. Very very weird.

-Scars