Ok guys, I’m back because I want some advice for a situation that has been screwing with my head for a few days. It seems the most logical, good advice comes from this board. Here is the background…
I met this girl about 5 years ago during some schooling we were both going through. I was her tutor for about 2 months. Fast forward 2 years and I run into her at a job training class we both ended up at. At the time I was with my fiancé of 5 years and ended up cheating on her with this girl (because I found out my fiancé had cheated on me I ended up doing this to have an experience with this girl, since we were both attracted to each other). I “date” this girl for about 2 weeks, until she appears to get tired of me and stops calling and wanting to hang out. Fiance and I end up breaking up 6 months later.
I end up seeing this girl later on and off during work travel. One month ago I call her as she met a mutual friend of mine and I wanted to say hi to her since she asked about me to my friend, and just make some small talk. I find out she is leaving for 4-5 months on a work related move. She wants me to come hang out before she leaves (across the country). I think about it, but I am just too busy where I am at with work. As fate would have it, I fly about 12 hours from where she is for a work related conference and tell her this. She says she is going to buy plane tickets to come see me for the weekend. I agree (surprised) and pick her up from the airport 2 days later.
We had an amazing weekend seeing the sights, traveling, eating out, and talking. We got drunk and had sex the first night, then the second night had sex again. The third night we didn’t because she said she was “tired”. I got a little pissed and was like “Ok, well just turn the lights off and go to bed then.” She knew I was upset. I did this to let her know I don’t accept that crap. Maybe that was a mistake…and here’s why.
A lot of the time we were talking while traveling around and going out she would ask questions like “So why do you think you are still single? I think I am because blah blah” and “I dated this guy he was a dork…blah blah” and stuff related to her “clock ticking”. So I wonder if she wants a relationship because of all this talk, even though we don’t see each other often. But what makes me screwed up about it is that she only made initial moves on me like trying to hold hands, or kiss a few times the whole time we were hanging out. I did most of the initiation, except for the sex (which was her, with the exception of the time I got shot down). So did she just want to have some sex with a guy she hooked up with before? Does she want more? WTF?!?!?
I haven’t called her in days and I don’t really plan to because I’m trying to be a man about this whole thing, and not ask the questions like “So are you looking for more?”…even though I had a great time with her. I don’t think I would marry this girl, but I don’t know why my head is wrapped around this thing so much, but I haven’t felt this way in a while. Maybe its just because we had an exceptional weekend of fun.
So I guess the advice Im looking for is: Do I just ignore her and let what happen be in the past, or do I make an effort to stay in contact with her? I’m trying to do the former, but I keep thinking about her and that weekend. It was fun. I have so many questions in my head…and it’s pissing me off. Did she come down just to have fun and bang? We only did it twice so I think not. Is she looking for more? Why THE EFF AM I STILL THINKING ABOUT THIS. Lately I have been in major control of everything in my life and how I feel. But this is messing with me and I don’t like it.
WTF. I need to get it together.
P.S. I think she may have banged around a lot between the time we had sex the first time and now. This is just an aside to the story.
I met this girl about 5 years ago during some schooling we were both going through. I was her tutor for about 2 months. Fast forward 2 years and I run into her at a job training class we both ended up at. At the time I was with my fiancé of 5 years and ended up cheating on her with this girl (because I found out my fiancé had cheated on me I ended up doing this to have an experience with this girl, since we were both attracted to each other). I “date” this girl for about 2 weeks, until she appears to get tired of me and stops calling and wanting to hang out. Fiance and I end up breaking up 6 months later.
I end up seeing this girl later on and off during work travel. One month ago I call her as she met a mutual friend of mine and I wanted to say hi to her since she asked about me to my friend, and just make some small talk. I find out she is leaving for 4-5 months on a work related move. She wants me to come hang out before she leaves (across the country). I think about it, but I am just too busy where I am at with work. As fate would have it, I fly about 12 hours from where she is for a work related conference and tell her this. She says she is going to buy plane tickets to come see me for the weekend. I agree (surprised) and pick her up from the airport 2 days later.
We had an amazing weekend seeing the sights, traveling, eating out, and talking. We got drunk and had sex the first night, then the second night had sex again. The third night we didn’t because she said she was “tired”. I got a little pissed and was like “Ok, well just turn the lights off and go to bed then.” She knew I was upset. I did this to let her know I don’t accept that crap. Maybe that was a mistake…and here’s why.
A lot of the time we were talking while traveling around and going out she would ask questions like “So why do you think you are still single? I think I am because blah blah” and “I dated this guy he was a dork…blah blah” and stuff related to her “clock ticking”. So I wonder if she wants a relationship because of all this talk, even though we don’t see each other often. But what makes me screwed up about it is that she only made initial moves on me like trying to hold hands, or kiss a few times the whole time we were hanging out. I did most of the initiation, except for the sex (which was her, with the exception of the time I got shot down). So did she just want to have some sex with a guy she hooked up with before? Does she want more? WTF?!?!?
I haven’t called her in days and I don’t really plan to because I’m trying to be a man about this whole thing, and not ask the questions like “So are you looking for more?”…even though I had a great time with her. I don’t think I would marry this girl, but I don’t know why my head is wrapped around this thing so much, but I haven’t felt this way in a while. Maybe its just because we had an exceptional weekend of fun.
So I guess the advice Im looking for is: Do I just ignore her and let what happen be in the past, or do I make an effort to stay in contact with her? I’m trying to do the former, but I keep thinking about her and that weekend. It was fun. I have so many questions in my head…and it’s pissing me off. Did she come down just to have fun and bang? We only did it twice so I think not. Is she looking for more? Why THE EFF AM I STILL THINKING ABOUT THIS. Lately I have been in major control of everything in my life and how I feel. But this is messing with me and I don’t like it.
WTF. I need to get it together.
P.S. I think she may have banged around a lot between the time we had sex the first time and now. This is just an aside to the story.
