"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Fun during the dates?

Babnik

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I think I've been asking too many questions for my own good lately...but just on average I'd like to find out...how much fun are you guys having during dates?

I've never had a date where time would just fly away...seriously.
Is that normal?

I find most of them like...being forced. Like...the conversations I have regarding any topic (like fun, entertainment) is just me TRYING real hard to say things and I don't even feel like talking about those things.


Many girls I talk to don't want to talk about themselves. Like...one who went to 10 countries couldn't say anything about it.

They do enjoy listening to my stories though...

I also can get a girl to laugh a few times but not like through the whole damn date, just a few times! I am not Mr. Funny guy who watches Comedy Central all the time.

Do you get guys constant smiling during dates as well?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Why not sarge more outgoing girls? What's the attraction of these introverts?
 

Heyjose25points

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Yea, its great when u approach and meet a friendly outgoing chick, makes me feels even more relaxed and like the girl more for it..who reflects how we should be, outgoing and friendly.
 

Sean O

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Babnik said:
I've never had a date where time would just fly away...seriously. Is that normal?
Sometimes. I'm usually a little wary of these kinds of dates, though, since the first date is usually a decent indicator of how well a second one would go. It's up to you if you want to bother taking these girls out again, or if you want to just next them.

Babnik said:
I find most of them like...being forced. Like...the conversations I have regarding any topic (like fun, entertainment) is just me TRYING real hard to say things and I don't even feel like talking about those things.
Well, in my opinion there should be no forced questions. You should only ask questions that you are genuinely interested in hearing the answer to. On a first date, this often means asking the girl things about herself that you would like to know. Build some rapport, yeah?

Babnik said:
Many girls I talk to don't want to talk about themselves. Like...one who went to 10 countries couldn't say anything about it. They do enjoy listening to my stories though...
This either means that the girl is boring/a bad conversationist (i.e. NEXT her), or that she's aware of the same idea that us DJs are: that talking too much about yourself can be unattractive. Thus, to avoid making herself look bad, she's holding back on talking about herself. This is one of those grey areas where you might want to try for a second date. That way, if she knows that you're still interested, she should be more open to talking more liberally.

Babnik said:
I also can get a girl to laugh a few times but not like through the whole damn date, just a few times! I am not Mr. Funny guy who watches Comedy Central all the time.
You don't have to have her rolling on the floor with laughter, you know... in fact, she doesn't even have to laugh at all for a date to be successful.

Babnik said:
Do you get guys constant smiling during dates as well?
Yeah. As long as the smile doesn't look forced, it's usually a good sign.
 
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