"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Fun Dinner

newhotness

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OK, what's your take on this.

I went out for dinner with a few friends in a really busy, very popular restaurant the other night. I'm tired as hell, and I lean back and spread my legs out. People are having to step over my feet to get through the aisle.

One woman accidentally steps on my shoe. I say to her: 'hey, be careful, lady!' I give her a smirk when she looks back.

girl: 'I am so sorry.'
me: 'it's allright, just be more careful next time.'

At this point, the woman reaches under the table and begins massaging my thigh, looking into my eyes (is she sympathetic? is she horny?).

me: 'you must want me really bad' I say to her, still smirking.
her: (pauses) '...oh yeah, right,' she says softly.
me: I don't have a follow up to that. I don't know if this is just anti slut defense or what. I don't say anything.
her: 'well, I have to go to the bathroom now.' She pauses for a second. She's still looking at me.
me: I'm thinking, why is she still standing there? doesn't she have to go to the bathroom?

Did I blow this situation? We'd only been talking for a minute so I guess it was too early for her to admit attraction, but man, I was surprised when she reached under the table like that!

New
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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KillaCam

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From what you have said, yes, you blew it. She was on a platter.

Keep your eyes open next time ;)

Notch it down as a positive dude. Better to have blown a situation, than not have a chance at all. Make it count next time.
 

Fash

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newhotness said:
her: 'well, I have to go to the bathroom now.' She pauses for a second. She's still looking at me.
me: I'm thinking, why is she still standing there? doesn't she have to go to the bathroom?
YOU IDIOT!!! :trouble: :trouble: :trouble:

Man if I was there right now, I'd give you a slap around the head and tell you to wake up!

She strokes your leg, then gets up and TELLS you that she has to go to the bathroom, then waits for you...

Well guess what... you just missed out on banging her brains out in the bathroom.

I used to be like that and would miss clear signals all the time because I kept telling my self "naaaa, i'm just being optimistic"... but guess what, any small signal you get.. follow it up!!!
 
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yeah, been there done that. i know how you feel missing sh!t like that.

fash is right.

but then when you do take the opportunity, it's on.

better luck next time
 

newhotness

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(Homer slapping himself against his own noggin): "Doh!"

Fash said:
YOU IDIOT!!! :trouble: :trouble: :trouble:

Man if I was there right now, I'd give you a slap around the head and tell you to wake up!

She strokes your leg, then gets up and TELLS you that she has to go to the bathroom, then waits for you...

Well guess what... you just missed out on banging her brains out in the bathroom.

I used to be like that and would miss clear signals all the time because I kept telling my self "naaaa, i'm just being optimistic"... but guess what, any small signal you get.. follow it up!!!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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wayword

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Fash said:
Well guess what... you just missed out on banging her brains out in the bathroom.
No shyt, he shoulda said, "need company?"

Then again, that sounds a little too good to be true. In other words, maybe "she" was a tranny, STD-ridden slvt or something else rather horrid. I mean, I don't think even your horniest borderline "normal" HB would be that easy.
 

dynamicallyidle

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yeah. this sounds like a script to a porno

i'm calling bull****

newhotness said:
OK, what's your take on this.

I went out for dinner with a few friends in a really busy, very popular restaurant the other night. I'm tired as hell, and I lean back and spread my legs out. People are having to step over my feet to get through the aisle.

One woman accidentally steps on my shoe. I say to her: 'hey, be careful, lady!' I give her a smirk when she looks back.

girl: 'I am so sorry.'
me: 'it's allright, just be more careful next time.'

At this point, the woman reaches under the table and begins massaging my thigh, looking into my eyes (is she sympathetic? is she horny?).

me: 'you must want me really bad' I say to her, still smirking.
her: (pauses) '...oh yeah, right,' she says softly.
me: I don't have a follow up to that. I don't know if this is just anti slut defense or what. I don't say anything.
her: 'well, I have to go to the bathroom now.' She pauses for a second. She's still looking at me.
me: I'm thinking, why is she still standing there? doesn't she have to go to the bathroom?

Did I blow this situation? We'd only been talking for a minute so I guess it was too early for her to admit attraction, but man, I was surprised when she reached under the table like that!

New
 

wayword

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Fash said:
Uh, yours is totally believable as it happened over the span of about, what, 6-7 hours...with step-by-step escalation?

But, this dude is basically claiming some girl wanted to jump his bones after 30 seconds - with NO real escalation? That sounds like a hooker to me, or a troll?
 

newhotness

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Actually, she began rubbing my thigh within ten seconds (was it five?) after I opened her. She made her bathroom announcement in well under two minutes. I wasn't looking at a stopwatch, but it took somewhere between one and two minutes.

As your game improves, you will be surprised at how quickly you can progress through an interaction. When you get really good, you're not surprised at all. But how much fun is that?

N

wayword said:
Uh, yours is totally believable as it happened over the span of about, what, 6-7 hours...with step-by-step escalation?

But, this dude is basically claiming some girl wanted to jump his bones after 30 seconds - with NO real escalation? That sounds like a hooker to me, or a troll?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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