Full blast to ice cold in 12 hours?

[Itsatisfies]

I have known this chick for quite some time now (i.e., 6 months) She works at a bar I frequent. Now dont' get me wrong I'm usually in there at least 1 a week with a different girl and I can get numbers from chicks in the bar at anytime. I've never really hit on the bartender as I know she gets that all the time. When she first started working I got trashed and tried the infamous drunk pick-up (which to say didn't work), but since then It's just been casual acquantances with no hard feelings.

Well Last week we went out and had a blast 2 nights later we hung out all night (both times with at least an hour and a half make-out session at my house). Both nights she told me I couldn't have sex with me because she didn't really know me. I opened up to her a little and told her some sheet about me. I ended up banging her (Yes she is hot and it was good) We had sex for like 45 minutes. Afterwards she told me she had a great time. Later that day. (she left like 10 a.m. that morning) I cooked dinner (I cook all the time so nothing out of the ordinary) Invited her and her male roomate over to hang out and grub.

She came by herself, but when she showed up I was receiving the total cold shoulder from her. When she came in I played it cool and didn't try to force myself on her, I tried to let her come to me. Problem is it didn't work she never came to me. After dinner we went to a friend of ours house and she seemed bored out of her mind and very distant. She drove me home. On the way I described how busy I was tomorrow and how I had a lot of stuff to do. She dropped me off and as I went to get a good night kiss I got the cheek, what the f@ck is this? Less than 12 hours before I was banging her and now I can't even get a kiss? Is this weird or no? I'm not a slouch at sex either. I've had several girlfriends who have commented on how much they enjoyed it with me. I just dont' understand from full blast to no go in 12 hours? any comments Do you think I've spent too much time with her? Any suggestions will be appreciated.

 

[cyrano]

Tough break buddy!! I don't really know what to say- she gave up the goods, and then goes all cold on you? I can only assume that this is some sort of ASD, which is pretty much the only thing that would fit in with her actually turning up again. I mean, if she was repulsed by your prescence, then she would hardly rock up
to see you again.

As for the silence afterwards- this is a pretty normal thing after a ONS, a bit of awkwardness etc. But this soon passes. You were right not to get in her face- a lot of women will just cross you out for being too clingy. I think that you could have left calling her over a couple of days, so as not to seem too eager, but that is just my POV.

I would go with this being some sort of ASD- particularly with the 'but I don't really know you comment'. I reckon that a reasonable tactic would be just to ignore her for a while- go drink at another bar, make periodic appearances at her bar. This might raise her IL- if you reduce your exposure to her, then she may feel propted to take some action! This will also make her feel a bit cheap- she gives it up to a guy, who then just ignores her- guaranteed to make her feel something.


It might be (although I don't claim to know) something that she does a lot- good looking (and not so good looking) barmaids/waitresses/etc always get hit on, so perhaps you might just be another in a long line.

I don't think you have spent too much time with her..... yet. Just a back off a bit, and see what happens. This really is the only thing to do- DJs don't chase! Good luck and keep us informed.

Just my two cents

Cyrano

 

[Itsatisfies]

what is an asd?

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Hmm I've honestly never experienced any awkwardness after a onenightstand, always talked lots and had really fun.

 

[Krassus]

Maybe she's got a bf and now feels guilty?

 

[JohnJones]

or just feels really skanky whether she has a b/f or not. She probably just needs to be left alone for a while.

 

[joey37]

ASD= Anti Slut Defense

 

[Itsatisfies]

Thing is though is all her friends are all my friends. It seems that all our friends like the "thought" of us hanging out. I'm trying to not shoot myself in teh foot here. I'm not committed to this chick, I like her and she's cool, but I don't wanna pull over my life for her. I've got like 2 other chicks I hang out with. I also don't want our friends seeing me out with another chick, (the bartender kinda thinks I'm a player anyway, as she has asked me how many of the girls I bring into the bar I hook up with) because then it'll "cement" that thought process. Maybe I shouldn't have hooked up with her, that bar is my favorite bar and it has worked out quite well with me hooking up with different chicks. Should I just chill and see what happens. Or should I just bring another chick back in there? Any thoughts would be appreciated.