"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Frustrated, please help this woman leave me

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sifer

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Alright so the story is, this woman is Egyptian and she is about 19 or so. I am her first. She is also my first foreign relationship (so I had no experience with Arab culture, even though I am Muslim myself).

But.. the problem she and I had (I broke up with her) is that (many things actually) she never showed any feelings for me when we were in a relationship, now that I told her we have to break up, she is crying on the phone telling me I can't leave her, that she'll kill herself and me and everyone (I highly doubt she is serious because we say anything when we are desperate).

She is a Muslim / not yet a US citizen (I think she has only been here for 4 years).

I don't think she is malicious but sometimes, I feel sorry for her. And it tears me up, and I desperately need help in getting her to move on from me.

It's hard hearing things like the things she say.

I need help, so please help. I've already told her off. I said "it's over" and I have plans to block her on everything, phone, AIM, facebook, but I fear she might come to my house.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Warrior74

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Muslim, arab, doesn't have jack to do with anything in this situation.

Put your big boy jeans on and man up. If she comes to your house call the cops on her ass. You know the score, cut all contact. Treat her as a woman would treat a man she is done with, basically stop talking to her and get the cops on her if she keeps coming around. She's just acting like an very bad AFC, they get the memo eventually. You've done all you can do here. good luck.
 
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sifer

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Warrior74

Thanks. I'll do that that, I cannot believe it's that simple but this situation is making it hard to live and sleep. I get a lot of anxiety.

If anyone has anything that is not thought of please say so. Any help would do, please.
 
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londonzen

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saying she will kill herself is selfish but typical female behaviour

but saying she will kill others now wow im scared of her lol
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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wasted-nick

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It sounds like you don't want to hurt her and that's cool, but you have to stop that at some point or it'll drive you nuts. As Captain said, you do not have any obligation to her - you were both consenting adults.

She's young... Maybe she is torn because of her faith too?? Who knows... There's really nothing more you can do to settle her. The best you could do is leave her be and let her start to move on (as it sounds like you're doing).

Do you know any one in immigration who could revoke her green-card? :)
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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