Frustrated, confused and hope i havent fu*Ked things up

[oztradamus]

Hello everyone, this may be a lil long but bare with me, I need help.

Ive been pursuing this girl for about 9 months and we have been "talking/dating" for about 7 months. I am the first guy that she has ever talked to and she is very shy and has never even kissed a guy. She is also not much of a phone person and is very busy which has limited our ability to see each other. However, when we do go out we have a good time and i can make her laugh and all that. Now ive been here many times but for whatever reason i took what i learned from here, shoved it down the drain and did something i know i should not have...i told her i liked her first. I did something special for her on valentines day and on her birthday which was a month later. I told her i liked her and i wanted to see where things go on her birthday in march and she told me that she wanted to see where things go as well. Now everything sounds good but the fact is that after nine months we arent where i think we should be. We dont physically flirt, or have any kino, and i still havent kissed her. Plus i am the one that does most if not all of the calling and setting up of dates

......So i did something else i wasnt suppose to do and asked her how she felt about us and she told me 2 different things: 1) she told me that she likes me, loves hanging out with me, and apologized for not putting forth more effort.....2)then she told me that she is in a weird place and wants to concentrate on herself and isnt sure if she is ready for a relationship and also dosent think we are ready to be in a relationship....however afterward she insists that she does like me and wants to pursue things

I know i shouldnt have done this but i told her i wasnt asking her to be my girlfriend but i just wanted to see more effort on her part....so she is telling me two different things and im not sure which has confused me. I have been going after this girl for awhile and i dont know where to go from here.

So finally my questions:
1) Have i messed things up to were they cant be repaired or do i still have a shot?
2) And if im still in the game, how do i intiate the kino and make her comfortable enough to where i can hold her and finally start kissing her and doing other things?


Please reply with some helpful tips...i would hate to have wasted all this time for nothing cause i really like this girl...thanks for the help guys!!!

 

[KnockoutJM]

My advice to you would be
A) Step up the physical game asap.. You dont have to grope her or anything, hold her hands, playfully touch her, tickle her, do anything to get her feeling like you are more than friends, and make sure she is comfortable,
and
B) Stop calling so much, after a few days she will call you, and begin to put effort into it.

From what i think, she is just nervous, and all you have to do is make her feel safe and comfortable to win her.

 

[oztradamus]

Thanks for the advise...any others would be much appreciated!

 

[typical]

My advice to you would be
A) Step up the physical game asap.. You dont have to grope her or anything, hold her hands, playfully touch her, tickle her, do anything to get her feeling like you are more than friends, and make sure she is comfortable,
and
B) Stop calling so much, after a few days she will call you, and begin to put effort into it.

From what i think, she is just nervous, and all you have to do is make her feel safe and comfortable to win her.

And she is nervous so your going to have to lead the way with what happens slowly she isn't scared off yet your still in man. Good thing is your both enjoying the company of each other which is cute. You know what you want to do so I don't have to tell you.

BTW if you want her to be your GF then you make sure you become her BF girls normally don't do the whole "so you want to be my bf" line. It normally goes along the line of guy kisses girl makes out with her and girl assumes they are dating and are together. So isolate her and kiss her already damn it.

P.s Holy crap I'm saying cute then I'll be wearing pink .......... must spend less time with girls LOL.

 

[Street_Fighter]

7 months and no play? lol
yeah,somethings wrong.You know those little moments when you are with her and you feel you're all warm inside, you both lock eyes and feel kinda giddy inside? yeah..those are the moments ,do your thing..
miss out on too many of those oppritunities and you just might miss out on her altogether...

 

[Nighthawk]

You're not going out with her. You haven't kissed her. Hope that clears up any confusion.

 

[The Sperminator]

Dude you aren't dating her. All you are is a friend. She turned you down in a nice way. Next her.

 

[oztradamus]

I know ive messed up, but can i still salvage something....i have a date with this girl tomorrow....so if i start using kino asap....do i still have a chance with her?

 

[Social_disturbance]

First of all you are putting too much pressure on her--Just stop it. 7 months with nothing and you need us to tell u there's no future in this? Go with her and see a movie--lots of accidental kino, leaning in to talk to her and tell her secrets, and in the middle of the movie hold her hand, and don't let go unless you want to or she pulls it away. If this doesn't work for you, accept the fact that she will only be your friend.

 

[oztradamus]

okay...at this point i get it...i MUST initiate kino ASAP....but now my question is since she is so shy and has told me that she likes the fact that we are going slow...should i give out constant kino at a slower pace and work up to holding hands and kissing or since ive been dumb and waited so long, should i apply heavy kino and quickly advance to the hand holding and kissing?

 

[Interceptor]

Use this as a learning experience.

Don't get needy, and desperate,

Again, this pace is WAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY to slow for the vast majority of people.
So yeah, you've got a definite frustrating situation.

If you start to use kino heavily, and all at once , she's going to notice. She'll feel pressured, and probably start to panic and pull back even further.
So don't go heavy on kino.
Be playful, flirtatious, and touch her occasionally, Introduce kino as a normal part of your "relationship" (she's not your GF, you're not her BF, you're just some dude she hangs out with , it's true, there is NO relationship there)

She knows you want sex, but she's trying to hold out as long as she can, while you satisfy HER needs, but she doesn't care about YOURS,

I realize you a really young guy, a kid. And this is your first girl experience, treat it as a learning experience. Learn as much as you can about the game, and try to apply it on her.