"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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From The Onion -- hilarious!

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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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STR8UP

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"Children who saw the breast in other countries were unaffected".

That pretty much sums up the stupidity of our stick-up-the-ass country we call the good 'ole USA.

Pathetic.
 

WestCoaster

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My favorite part was the "pictures from traumatized children" -- what a hoot!

CBS or NBC received thousands of calls after boobgate, but each night either CSI or Law and Order has a bloody, decapitated victim (last night a head rolled on the floor) and they receive few if any calls.

What a messed up country.
 

KarmaSutra

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hypocritical self-righteous bastards.

The news media promulgates this garbage to follow the religious right/conservative republican arm.

Jon Stewart had a field day with this crap. He took that a$$ Tucker Carlson to school about it.

Next on the list should be that tool Bill O'reilly . . .
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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diablo

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Originally posted by KarmaSutra
The news media promulgates this garbage to follow the religious right/conservative republican arm.
Funny article, though I'd read it earlier last month...

In any event, as Karma has already indicated by his response, this thread can go nowhere but political, and fast.
 
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