"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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From the gym floor to the dance floor to dinner at her place.

amoka

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Met this girl at the gym couple of months ago, when I was fully on fire DJing. She is doing her Ph.D in Psychology, with specialization in child behaviour.... I asked her if she has any children on her own and she responded with a big "NO!". I thought for a second "the game is on". Then I asked "..you married?" And the response: "No!". "But I have a boyfriend." Bad news indeed. I asked her "so when is the wedding?" I don't remember her response since it has been at least 4 months since the conversation occured.

Since then, she says "hi" to me and I say "hi" to her whenever we see each other. Two weeks ago, I invited her to a dance class. Which she said she can't come that week but the following week, she "might" be able to. So last wednesday I asked her if she was ready for the dance class. I gave her the name of the place and since I'm not good with directions, I told her to google the name and find the direction to the place. Well, she showed up at the exact time. This was her first time dancing ballroom.

I danced with her sometime time (showing her the basic patterns on certain musics) while the remaining of the time was used dancing with other chicks. Almost all the ladies wanted to dance with me. Bare in mind that I'm not a good dance, but I can certainly follow some basic patterns, and confortable dancing to certain dancing styles.

What was interesting was when they started playing Mamba and when I was just about to show her the basic patterns of the dance, my dancing instructor came and told her " Sorry, but I alread booked with him to dance to this song" Then she took me away. Yes, she already asked me several days ago to dance Mamba with me.

To cut things short; on the way to her car, she said " woa, you must be very popular. Everybody knows you. Particularly the women". This was all I wanted to show her... the social proof. I had the best IOI ever. She was touchy... I neg her couple of time. I asked her to cook for me to try sometimes. She said "OK!. I'll have to think of what to cook, though". Then I said "well, make up your mind quick, and dont mess the food up.". Well, she called me yesturday (saturday) and scheduled a one-on-one dinner with me at her place for Wednesday.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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realsmoothie

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The thing I learn from this is: get out there.

You needed two things for this to happen.

ONE: you needed to get out to the gym and meet her.

TWO: you had to have another good activity that made it easy to ask her out, that was the dancing.

I was sitting at home the other night on a night I felt I needed to just "hang out" on my own, and realized that this "hanging out" by myself isn't very helpful. There were SO MANY things I could be out doing that would both allow me to have fun and improve myself AND would expand my social circle.
 

amoka

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For the expects: I've never been invited to a woman's place for a dinner before, they normally come to my place. Is there any last minute advice eg, "sit tight and watch her cook while you watch tv at the same time.", "help her make the dinner ( chop onion for example) to show you're romantic" etc.
 

STR8UP

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amoka said:
To cut things short; on the way to her car, she said " woa, you must be very popular. Everybody knows you. Particularly the women". This was all I wanted to show her... the social proof.
Like I always say, if you have social proof half the battle is already won.

If you can manage to befriend a few women it's easy to meet more. And each new one you meet increases your odds with the rest exponentially.

I can't tell you how many times women make comments like "You have quite a fan club". It's a good sign....most of the time women won't make that observation (or at least they won't comment about it) unless they are interested in you. It's funny. a friend of mines girlfriend ALWAYS comments on the fact that every time she sees me I always have women around.

You can just see the attraction build when women see you with other women. Good job.
 

amoka

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I met her this morning at the gym and postponed the dinner to thursday since I have other things to do on wednesday. She was all smilling :). She started talking to me about how weekend.... :whistle:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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