"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
From Mr Nice Guy to her man
- Thread starter vanrijnr1
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Play the Game
Master Don Juan
Not really. But you could try being less available... by dating other women.
That has potential to work, but the problem is you like her so much she IS your life and your goal. You need to rethink that.
Ladder Theory:
http://www.intellectual*****s.com/masterladder.html
(Wh0res is the missing word.)
That has potential to work, but the problem is you like her so much she IS your life and your goal. You need to rethink that.
Ladder Theory:
http://www.intellectual*****s.com/masterladder.html
(Wh0res is the missing word.)
Your right. How do I rethink that though? As far as I'm concerned, she truly IS the one. This isn't like some little infatuation, it's all I ever wanted.
Makes it hard to deal with when you feel like that.
At the same time, we spend 2-3 hours every day together, talking. She's just playing right now but getting to be more serious about getting married. Anyway, we talk that much not because I pursue her all the time, although I do often, but there are many times she calls me. So how do I gauge this? How un-interested is she if she spends this much time with me? I don't get it.
By the way, her response would be she just wants me as a friend.
Yet there have been a few times we got fysical. So I know there's a level of interest, or at least openess.
Input anyone?
R
Makes it hard to deal with when you feel like that.
At the same time, we spend 2-3 hours every day together, talking. She's just playing right now but getting to be more serious about getting married. Anyway, we talk that much not because I pursue her all the time, although I do often, but there are many times she calls me. So how do I gauge this? How un-interested is she if she spends this much time with me? I don't get it.
By the way, her response would be she just wants me as a friend.
Yet there have been a few times we got fysical. So I know there's a level of interest, or at least openess.
Input anyone?
R
Monkey
Master Don Juan
Its Ganji time http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=21610
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
Bro, you are treading dangerous water here!!!!!
At any time you will be feminized and Zoned. It's imminent if it hasn't happened already.
You need to do this.
You need to cut your time with her.
You need to let her see you interact with other people, ESPECIALLY with OTHER WOMEN. She NEEDS to SEE this.
You need to impress upon her that you are independant, and have dreams, and a life.
Your interactions with her must slowly change. Subtlety is key.
You need to start injecting some sexiness in your niteractions with her.
But it MUST be gradual enough so that she doesn't notice it.
She will freak, put on a face, and maybe even laugh at you if you don't do this withgradually.
If she sees you as only a "friend", you may have little chance.
You need to cut your interactions with her and see how she reacts.
You need to change your interactions with her and see how she reacts.
You need to let her see you with other women and see how she reacts.
We do this to try to gauge the Interest Level. Among other dynamics ie, does she think of you as a sexual partner, or another girlfriend?
Since you messed up from the beginning, some of the natural game is hindered.
So now you;re forced to do a salvage job here.
This is why it's so important to be ourSELVES with the women we're sexually interested in.
No "I think I'lll be her friend!!!" bullsh*t. The chances of that tactic are so rare , so one in a million, that if she did respond to you sexually after a friendship honeymoon, then she must have stronger feelings than you thought. And perhaps, dare I say it, but Holy Sh*t ,Batman, she may indeed be The One.
Don't put her on the pedestal.
Don't put her in front of your needs.
She doesn't owe you anything.
You don't owe her anything.
She's not your wife.
She sh*ts and pees, and farts and burps like anyone else.
She is also insecure.
You arenot married to her.
She's not your Wife.
You're not her Husband.
Do you understand here?
If she's "The One" then you must have a game plan.
If she's "The One" then you will be patient and level headed to keep your priorities straight and not lose perspective.
Good luck.
At any time you will be feminized and Zoned. It's imminent if it hasn't happened already.
You need to do this.
You need to cut your time with her.
You need to let her see you interact with other people, ESPECIALLY with OTHER WOMEN. She NEEDS to SEE this.
You need to impress upon her that you are independant, and have dreams, and a life.
Your interactions with her must slowly change. Subtlety is key.
You need to start injecting some sexiness in your niteractions with her.
But it MUST be gradual enough so that she doesn't notice it.
She will freak, put on a face, and maybe even laugh at you if you don't do this withgradually.
If she sees you as only a "friend", you may have little chance.
You need to cut your interactions with her and see how she reacts.
You need to change your interactions with her and see how she reacts.
You need to let her see you with other women and see how she reacts.
We do this to try to gauge the Interest Level. Among other dynamics ie, does she think of you as a sexual partner, or another girlfriend?
Since you messed up from the beginning, some of the natural game is hindered.
So now you;re forced to do a salvage job here.
This is why it's so important to be ourSELVES with the women we're sexually interested in.
No "I think I'lll be her friend!!!" bullsh*t. The chances of that tactic are so rare , so one in a million, that if she did respond to you sexually after a friendship honeymoon, then she must have stronger feelings than you thought. And perhaps, dare I say it, but Holy Sh*t ,Batman, she may indeed be The One.
Don't put her on the pedestal.
Don't put her in front of your needs.
She doesn't owe you anything.
You don't owe her anything.
She's not your wife.
She sh*ts and pees, and farts and burps like anyone else.
She is also insecure.
You arenot married to her.
She's not your Wife.
You're not her Husband.
Do you understand here?
If she's "The One" then you must have a game plan.
If she's "The One" then you will be patient and level headed to keep your priorities straight and not lose perspective.
Good luck.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Teepanster
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2007
- Messages
- 3
- Reaction score
- 0
Awesome advice, listen to this man.
Interceptor said:Bro, you are treading dangerous water here!!!!!
At any time you will be feminized and Zoned. It's imminent if it hasn't happened already.
You need to do this.
You need to cut your time with her.
You need to let her see you interact with other people, ESPECIALLY with OTHER WOMEN. She NEEDS to SEE this.
You need to impress upon her that you are independant, and have dreams, and a life.
Your interactions with her must slowly change. Subtlety is key.
You need to start injecting some sexiness in your niteractions with her.
But it MUST be gradual enough so that she doesn't notice it.
She will freak, put on a face, and maybe even laugh at you if you don't do this withgradually.
If she sees you as only a "friend", you may have little chance.
You need to cut your interactions with her and see how she reacts.
You need to change your interactions with her and see how she reacts.
You need to let her see you with other women and see how she reacts.
We do this to try to gauge the Interest Level. Among other dynamics ie, does she think of you as a sexual partner, or another girlfriend?
Since you messed up from the beginning, some of the natural game is hindered.
So now you;re forced to do a salvage job here.
This is why it's so important to be ourSELVES with the women we're sexually interested in.
No "I think I'lll be her friend!!!" bullsh*t. The chances of that tactic are so rare , so one in a million, that if she did respond to you sexually after a friendship honeymoon, then she must have stronger feelings than you thought. And perhaps, dare I say it, but Holy Sh*t ,Batman, she may indeed be The One.
Don't put her on the pedestal.
Don't put her in front of your needs.
She doesn't owe you anything.
You don't owe her anything.
She's not your wife.
She sh*ts and pees, and farts and burps like anyone else.
She is also insecure.
You arenot married to her.
She's not your Wife.
You're not her Husband.
Do you understand here?
If she's "The One" then you must have a game plan.
If she's "The One" then you will be patient and level headed to keep your priorities straight and not lose perspective.
Good luck.
RAFCbearfilm
Don Juan
Make sure you escalate the Kino - Interceptor is spot on, but you HAVE to start upping the sexual ante as well. Be more physical (kino) and suggestive.
If she is "the one" she will respond because she is thinking the same thing as well.
Please remember "The One" really stands for "the One right now" cause I bet if you gathered all your "Ones" in the same place at the same time you would be surprised how different they all are.
If she is "the one" she will respond because she is thinking the same thing as well.
Please remember "The One" really stands for "the One right now" cause I bet if you gathered all your "Ones" in the same place at the same time you would be surprised how different they all are.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
RAFCbearfilm said:Make sure you escalate the Kino - Interceptor is spot on, but you HAVE to start upping the sexual ante as well. Be more physical (kino) and suggestive.
If she is "the one" she will respond because she is thinking the same thing as well.
Please remember "The One" really stands for "the One right now" cause I bet if you gathered all your "Ones" in the same place at the same time you would be surprised how different they all are.
i think we have a winner
Congratulations, you're her girlfriend.the op of this thread said:At the same time, we spend 2-3 hours every day together, talking.
Stop acting like a chick. You don't have time to waste in idle, womanly chit-chat, especially with girls (who mostly like to talk about unimportant things).
I agree with bearfilm and backbreaker about the kino. Go for it. If that doesn't work, take Monkey's advice and Ganji her.
Thanks Monkey & Interceptor.
I just left her a minute ago (before I read all of this). Went to the Waffle House (her suggestion). She ends up talking to one of the other puppydogs for the entire time we were there. Pissed me off. So I paid the bill and left. Took her two minutes to get up and follow me to the parking lot. Still on the phone. Gave her another minute to be fair and left again. She told me she'd call me, which she did. I didn't answer. I did text her before her call saying, if you want to talk I'll be at my house.
That's where I left it. Tired of the bull. Reading this stuff and some other stuff has really opened my eyes. Thanks.
Do tell me how to proceed. We're around eachother all the time, and I know the deal is over if I go ex-communicado on her. We are latin dancers and dance in the same dance scene.
I think next time I see her, if she wants to talk (and she will) I'll let her know I demand my respect and I think it's not cool to want to go out for breakfast with a friend while she talks to her friends for the entire time.
What do you think? Time to regain control. I got nothing to lose. We'll be friends anyway and I already have that.
Thanks.
I just left her a minute ago (before I read all of this). Went to the Waffle House (her suggestion). She ends up talking to one of the other puppydogs for the entire time we were there. Pissed me off. So I paid the bill and left. Took her two minutes to get up and follow me to the parking lot. Still on the phone. Gave her another minute to be fair and left again. She told me she'd call me, which she did. I didn't answer. I did text her before her call saying, if you want to talk I'll be at my house.
That's where I left it. Tired of the bull. Reading this stuff and some other stuff has really opened my eyes. Thanks.
Do tell me how to proceed. We're around eachother all the time, and I know the deal is over if I go ex-communicado on her. We are latin dancers and dance in the same dance scene.
I think next time I see her, if she wants to talk (and she will) I'll let her know I demand my respect and I think it's not cool to want to go out for breakfast with a friend while she talks to her friends for the entire time.
What do you think? Time to regain control. I got nothing to lose. We'll be friends anyway and I already have that.
Thanks.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Manolo
Don Juan
Relax! ... don't rush, patience is needed here. Take some of the advice above and use it, don't make quick decisions because it will make things worse.vanrijnr1 said:Thanks Monkey & Interceptor.
I just left her a minute ago (before I read all of this). Went to the Waffle House (her suggestion). She ends up talking to one of the other puppydogs for the entire time we were there. Pissed me off. So I paid the bill and left. Took her two minutes to get up and follow me to the parking lot. Still on the phone. Gave her another minute to be fair and left again. She told me she'd call me, which she did. I didn't answer. I did text her before her call saying, if you want to talk I'll be at my house.
That's where I left it. Tired of the bull. Reading this stuff and some other stuff has really opened my eyes. Thanks.
Do tell me how to proceed. We're around eachother all the time, and I know the deal is over if I go ex-communicado on her. We are latin dancers and dance in the same dance scene.
I think next time I see her, if she wants to talk (and she will) I'll let her know I demand my respect and I think it's not cool to want to go out for breakfast with a friend while she talks to her friends for the entire time.
What do you think? Time to regain control. I got nothing to lose. We'll be friends anyway and I already have that.
Thanks.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
dude you gotta be kidding me.
some guys just don't get it.
you opened your eyes to see how much she doesn't like you, leave her then come back to ask how to I handle the situtaiotn
mutherfvcker you tell her that unless she plans on fvcking to leave you the hell alone that's how you handle it.
"would you like your balls scrambled or white?"
SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!!!!!!!
God DAMN guys, is it really that fvcking hard? I mean seriously? Some guys wonder why women are so mysterious or whatnot. thye aren't.. we are just to damn blind to see the signs.
what more does she seriously have to do for you to understand that she would rather do dog porn that to sleep with you?
the only reason you are around is because you won't go away and you are useful (Free ****)
Why even be friends with someone who can't respect you.
Even my old oneitis wouldn't pull **** like that. When we went out.. we were out. I had her attention, otherwise she could call whoever she was on the phone with and have them pick her up.
some guys just don't get it.
you opened your eyes to see how much she doesn't like you, leave her then come back to ask how to I handle the situtaiotn
mutherfvcker you tell her that unless she plans on fvcking to leave you the hell alone that's how you handle it.
Do tell me how to proceed. We're around eachother all the time, and I know the deal is over if I go ex-communicado on her. We are latin dancers and dance in the same dance scene.
"would you like your balls scrambled or white?"
SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!!!!!!!
God DAMN guys, is it really that fvcking hard? I mean seriously? Some guys wonder why women are so mysterious or whatnot. thye aren't.. we are just to damn blind to see the signs.
what more does she seriously have to do for you to understand that she would rather do dog porn that to sleep with you?
the only reason you are around is because you won't go away and you are useful (Free ****)
Why even be friends with someone who can't respect you.
Even my old oneitis wouldn't pull **** like that. When we went out.. we were out. I had her attention, otherwise she could call whoever she was on the phone with and have them pick her up.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
Van,
Sorry friend, but after reading your last interaction with her...it's not sounding positive.
I thought she wass at least a little concerned for your feelings.
I thought maybe you had a chance.
I can't tell you to not go for her.
But man, I would be doing you a disservice if I told you to go ahead and "proceed".
Van, the reason Backbreaker is pissed is becasue you are seeing signs right in front of you, but it seems like you are rationalizing for her.
I'm glad you've decided to bring up the disrespect at the Waffle House. You are absolutely right in being pissed at that sh*t. It was wrong of her.
And any girl who is attracted to you, would more than likely not do those things.
And again, Back is pissed because yet again, our fellow Brothers are putting up their nuts as a sacrifice to some chick.
This makes us all look bad.
Don't be another statistic, and don't give her more evidence that men are wimps,lack courage and confidence, and a spine.
Look, man, and every Brother of mine out there, read this...
No pvssy is worth you being disrespected.
No pvssy is worth sacriificing your dignity and self respect.
Just because a woman is "Hawt", doesn't mean she's automatically a Good Person.
You've got a lot more reading and changing to go, bro. I feel for you, but you do.
This is why it's important to have forums like this to give you a broader perspective, and help you understand to "Protect That Heart".
If you do decide to stay on this woman, then be prepared to suffer the consequences.
If you don't ,come back here and talk about it.
And Read the Book of Pook.
You've got a lot of thinking to do.
Sorry friend, but after reading your last interaction with her...it's not sounding positive.
I thought she wass at least a little concerned for your feelings.
I thought maybe you had a chance.
I can't tell you to not go for her.
But man, I would be doing you a disservice if I told you to go ahead and "proceed".
Van, the reason Backbreaker is pissed is becasue you are seeing signs right in front of you, but it seems like you are rationalizing for her.
I'm glad you've decided to bring up the disrespect at the Waffle House. You are absolutely right in being pissed at that sh*t. It was wrong of her.
And any girl who is attracted to you, would more than likely not do those things.
And again, Back is pissed because yet again, our fellow Brothers are putting up their nuts as a sacrifice to some chick.
This makes us all look bad.
Don't be another statistic, and don't give her more evidence that men are wimps,lack courage and confidence, and a spine.
Look, man, and every Brother of mine out there, read this...
No pvssy is worth you being disrespected.
No pvssy is worth sacriificing your dignity and self respect.
Just because a woman is "Hawt", doesn't mean she's automatically a Good Person.
You've got a lot more reading and changing to go, bro. I feel for you, but you do.
This is why it's important to have forums like this to give you a broader perspective, and help you understand to "Protect That Heart".
If you do decide to stay on this woman, then be prepared to suffer the consequences.
If you don't ,come back here and talk about it.
And Read the Book of Pook.
You've got a lot of thinking to do.
Thanks.
So one more question. If you're already friends with a person like that, are you saying forfeit the friendship? Our group of friends is about 50-80 people, depending on the day you see us. It used to be a great group. Now there's so many people that don't talk because of this sh1t. Or maybe they're just nice on the surface. So... if you're friends then what are the proper boundaries?
For instance, this chick is about to go into surgery because she's donating a kidney. She'll be out for a while. If someone's a friend I take care of them - when needed, along with other people. I'm not a fvcking wimp and I will not be disrespected anymore. However I am a person who comes from a background of leading people. I take care of my people no matter what.
Respect or not she is my friend. I also understood she doesn't like me any other way, that's obvious, I CAN read the signs. Besides I don't need the signs, she's told me plain and simple. Remember the original question - how do I go from Mr Nice Guy to being her man.
I WILL do whatever it takes, IF there's a way. I don't give sh1t about consequences, my heart has already been served on a silver platter. She's the one and I always get what I want.
So hit me.
Thanks
So one more question. If you're already friends with a person like that, are you saying forfeit the friendship? Our group of friends is about 50-80 people, depending on the day you see us. It used to be a great group. Now there's so many people that don't talk because of this sh1t. Or maybe they're just nice on the surface. So... if you're friends then what are the proper boundaries?
For instance, this chick is about to go into surgery because she's donating a kidney. She'll be out for a while. If someone's a friend I take care of them - when needed, along with other people. I'm not a fvcking wimp and I will not be disrespected anymore. However I am a person who comes from a background of leading people. I take care of my people no matter what.
Respect or not she is my friend. I also understood she doesn't like me any other way, that's obvious, I CAN read the signs. Besides I don't need the signs, she's told me plain and simple. Remember the original question - how do I go from Mr Nice Guy to being her man.
I WILL do whatever it takes, IF there's a way. I don't give sh1t about consequences, my heart has already been served on a silver platter. She's the one and I always get what I want.
So hit me.
Thanks
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2006
- Messages
- 2,889
- Reaction score
- 109
Friendship? What friendship? Why would you want to be friends with someone like that? What exactly are you getting out of it?
Tell me...if this girl wasn't hot and you weren't attracted to her..would you remain friends with her after all of this? I think not.
There ya go.
Tell me...if this girl wasn't hot and you weren't attracted to her..would you remain friends with her after all of this? I think not.
There ya go.
I would. We were friends long before I looked at her any different. One day after a year my interest just changed. Hers did too for a bit. We've gotten somewhat physical, i.e. we kissed. Last time she's the one who kissed me. Only a few weeks ago...
So maybe that's why I'm confused.
So maybe that's why I'm confused.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
The answer to your problem is very simple. You and this girl are just REALLY GOOD FRIENDS nothing more. Now, If you use the advice that other people have said. You might have a chance of turning a friend into a lover. But, your game will have to be TIGHT. If you dream it, you can achieve it. I've done it before. Good luck, if all fails... Go for new women young playa!
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
backbreaker said:dude you gotta be kidding me.
some guys just don't get it.
you opened your eyes to see how much she doesn't like you, leave her then come back to ask how to I handle the situtaiotn
mutherfvcker you tell her that unless she plans on fvcking to leave you the hell alone that's how you handle it.
"would you like your balls scrambled or white?"
SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!!!!!!!
God DAMN guys, is it really that fvcking hard? I mean seriously? Some guys wonder why women are so mysterious or whatnot. thye aren't.. we are just to damn blind to see the signs.
what more does she seriously have to do for you to understand that she would rather do dog porn that to sleep with you?
the only reason you are around is because you won't go away and you are useful (Free ****)
Why even be friends with someone who can't respect you.
Even my old oneitis wouldn't pull **** like that. When we went out.. we were out. I had her attention, otherwise she could call whoever she was on the phone with and have them pick her up.
About somebody actually tells it like it is. If he had any hope whatsoever, I would have said Interceptor had the best advice, but all the great advice won't work on a lost cause like this one.
She will be happy for you if you told her you found somebody.
She sees nothing with taking up your time while she finds somebody who she's really into.
A question for you, have you ever kissed her before?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.