From Lonely Virgin to Don Juan - Honesty is best?

[RazorAzoth]

I'm not asking how to go from lonley virgin to don juan, God knows there's enough books explaining that. However, after reading the new .PDF version of the DJ Bible and "How to become an alpha male" by John Alexander, I've yet to read about how you're suppose to explain your past.

Obviously, there's only two options, be honest or lie. If you're honest, it's pretty hard to continue coming off as alpha male/DJ when the girl knows this is a completely new attitude for you.

If you lie and make up past girlfriends, you're inevitably going to be caught and look like a completely creepy nutbag. You would have to not only make up names of girls in your town/area that don't exist and get your family to go along with it...but also explain why there's no pictures of the two of you together.

So is the best way to approach this to be honest about your non-alpha lonely past? I really don't see any other way.

 

[immrtlwun]

First off there's not much reason you should have to explain your past to a girl that's just getting to know you.
But if it does come up, I'd say be honest, but don't make your AFC past sound as depressing as it probably is (if you're as bad as I was). If she really has to know tell her that you just haven't dated that much in the past, don't tell her its because you were an antisocial loser. If you play it off as no big deal, it won't be a big deal.

 

[forward]

I was in a similar boat a while ago: a rather old virgin who had never had a girlfriend.

You'll be able to get experience while being honest. You've been studying, and the stuff you've learned, if utilized properly, is enough to lose your virginity and gain some experience. Your lack of experience and virgin status WILL make you less attractive to a girl, but if you don't have the mindset of a TOTAL AFC, the stuff you've learned here will sort of balance that out.

Something I would have done differently:

Don't get into an LTR if you can help it (and you can help it).

My first LT girlfriend knew I was a virgin (and she was not). This hurt our sex life through the entire duration of the relationship. It's like... any time I would try something new or experiment... she'd react sort of like "what are you doing?" As if she always assumed I had no clue what I was doing. And that was the entire sexual relationship with us: she viewed me as clueless and not knowing what I was doing. We had sex probably hundreds of times but nothing changed that view she had (and I sensed from her).

Whereas, on the other hand, having sex with new girls after loosing my virginity was MUUUUCH better. First off, it's easier to obtain: you won't be as hesitant escalating there (and you'll realize just how little time you need to spend with a girl before you can go there!). But more importantly, the girl knows or assumes you've had sex before, so you can try new things and experiment and she'll probably love them! Instead of assuming that you don't know what you're doing, she'll assume you know exactly what you're doing (as you may have done these things before). And even if she knows you're trying something new, she'll still go along and enjoy it. Because you have this magical sexual foundation of experience that is unknown to her. She'll assume you know more about sex than her, and thus you can remain sexually dominant (unlike my first relationship where, no matter what we did, she would remain more sexually experienced than me -- no way of changing that).

I don't know if that makes sense, I find it hard to explain this thing I'm getting at. But I've come to the conclusion that, for me at least, the first girl you have sex with is really like a starter-girl -- something to get you started. The real fun will come with the next girls.

 

[The Deacon]

Whereas, on the other hand, having sex with new girls after loosing my virginity was MUUUUCH better. First off, it's easier to obtain: you won't be as hesitant escalating there (and you'll realize just how little time you need to spend with a girl before you can go there!). But more importantly, the girl knows or assumes you've had sex before, so you can try new things and experiment and she'll probably love them! Instead of assuming that you don't know what you're doing, she'll assume you know exactly what you're doing (as you may have done these things before). And even if she knows you're trying something new, she'll still go along and enjoy it. Because you have this magical sexual foundation of experience that is unknown to her. She'll assume you know more about sex than her, and thus you can remain sexually dominant (unlike my first relationship where, no matter what we did, she would remain more sexually experienced than me -- no way of changing that).

Has there ever been truer words spoken?

 

[JDA70]

Obviously, there's only two options, be honest or lie. If you're honest, it's pretty hard to continue coming off as alpha male/DJ when the girl knows this is a completely new attitude for you.

Ya see it's ok that girls know you've changed.
They want Alpha Males. They don't want chumps.
Just be honest.

Sure there is the whole argument that oh man
he's just a fake trying to just get laid.

That's crap and we both know it.
Anyone thinks that about you tell them to **** off.

Your Alpha now dude there is no turning back.
And you will have to stand up for yourself if people
try and talk smack about your new found life.

 

[theunflushables]

Your perceptions of your past change over time as well. For example think back to High School. While you were in HS you probably felt like a loser, a social outcast. Today, you look back and say "Who cares? It was fvckin' High School!"

 

[RazorAzoth]

Thanks guys. I figured the best thing to do would just be honest. So if ever does come up about past girlfriends, just do what immrtlwun said and just blow it off saying "I've never really dated" and change the subject quickly? What if the girl goes back to it and asks "why?"

I agree forward, the best thing to do is not get tied down in a relationship and just kinda get around for a little while without any commitments before getting into a relationship.

 

[RazorAzoth]

Anyone? Is this the best way?

 

[ezily]

look razor, I wouldn't lie. But I would not tell the whole truth either. If it comes up just say "it's been a while" or something along those lines. I don't think it'd be hard to avoid the subject. And if you're a virgin I still wouldn't say anything. I mean don't offer that information up. Depending upon how old you are most girls will just assume you've dated and had sex. Therefore they won't ask. I mean that's what I do.

Look at it this way, if you get to the point where you're having sex for the first time do not say it. As forward said, she'd think you'd suck. If she says anything just brush it off.

Seriously, lying is not good but neither is being honest. If you're honest she'll probably think something is wrong with you. If you lie you have to be able to keep up the lie.

 

[In Motion]

Dont lie, just dont tell the entire truth.

 

[DonJuan11]

Obviously, there's only two options, be honest or lie. If you're honest, it's pretty hard to continue coming off as alpha male/DJ when the girl knows this is a completely new attitude for you.

If you lie and make up past girlfriends, you're inevitably going to be caught and look like a completely creepy nutbag. You would have to not only make up names of girls in your town/area that don't exist and get your family to go along with it...but also explain why there's no pictures of the two of you together.

So is the best way to approach this to be honest about your non-alpha lonely past?

If you have to make up names of girls and places you've been to impress or sleep with a girl, you are missing the point entirely. Why not create a life so exciting so that girls will be attracted to you regardless. Then you won't have to make the stories up, you will have them in your back pocket when you meet a girl you are attracted to. Anything you do should be done because you like doing it, a girl coming along would just be bonus.

 

[The Forms]

A few months ago I was dating a girl and on the third date she wanted to go into the whole, "you tell me your whole dating past and I'll tell you mine." I told her I didn't want to go through that whole thing. I don't really see the point in hashing out my or her whole romantic past all in one sitting. Talk about a mood killer.

I said, anyone really important from my or your past will inevitibly come up in conversation, so we'll learn along the way. It's like having someone emotionally vomit all over you if they tell you their whole dating past (ok, I didn't say that last part, but that's the way it feels).

She said, "I've never dated a guy before who didn't want to get into the whole, 'past relationships' thing kind of early on."

I said, "that's because you have been dating too many emo boys." Then I boned her.