From Friend to Enemy

[dastud]

I used to be really good friends with this girl who had a boyfriend. I was single at the time. We used to hang out and get along really well. In fact, a few people asked us if we were going out. She had been going out with him for a long while and I would never cheat with her. I'm just that sort of person.

One day we met up for lunch. We had an ordinary conversation until she started telling me about how she liked it when her boyfriend put his hands on the inside of her thighs. My response was "hey, take it easy," and then I changed the subject. It felt weird to hear her talk like that though I though nothing of it afterwords.

After that night our friendship slowly fizzled out. In retrospect, I can't consider anything I may have said or done to have been offensive. I always acted like a complete gentleman. My only conclusion was the reason she brought up material of a sexual nature was in order to signal me to initiate the first move and sleep with her. When I rejected her advances she felt insulted and ended the friendship. That's all I can think of.

What do you guys think?

 

[Tyson420]

I doubt she wanted you to sleep with her.

I HIGHLY doubt it. Almost 100 %

 

[Johnny_Kage]

Just because a friendship "slowly fizzles out" doesn't mean that you're enemies now. Based on what you wrote, if you contacted her now, she would probably be receptive.

Also, again, based on what you wrote, it doesn't sound like she thinks of you as more than a friend. This is due to the fact that you never made a move or displayed that you're interested, which you acknowledged in your post and gave a perfectly legitimate/respectable reason for.

In conclusion, it's probably all in your head, man.

 

[Warrior74]

I'm sorry. I think you forgot to tell the 'enemy' portion of the story.

 

[dastud]

Hi Johnny,

By "fizzled out," I meant that I tried to contact her a few times and she never replied back. So she chose to end the relationship.

The only significant event in our relationship was that night. That's when she started to become more distant. And that's what I'm basing my reasoning on.

 

[Johnny_Kage]

It's possible, I suppose. Maybe you showed some interest that you weren't aware of and that made her back off. Maybe she likes you a lot and doesn't want that to affect her relationship. Maybe she moved to Arkansas and married her cousin. Maybe she became a lesbian.

See where I'm going with this?....

There's a million reasons why people do things that we can't possibly imagine. No point in dwelling on it

 

[iqqi]

If you were "really good friends" with her, then why don't you just ask her what's her deal?

Friends can call friends out on things like that.

 

[crazyboy]

Not to point out the obvious here. But maybe she is busy. I have female friend who tell me sexual stuff all the time and give right back to them. She just having a conversation with you. The fact you couldn't have a sexual conversation with her mean that you might actually have more than a "friend" feeling for her. Then you actually show off. Just saying. But if you are really good friends with her. Call her and say whats wrong.

 

[dastud]

So no one thinks she stopped talking to me because I turned down her advances.

Well, for starters, I certainly do. Take a look at this:

1. Great friendship for years.
2. She introduces talk of a sexual nature. I tell her to take it easy.
3. After that, the relationship fizzles; my phone calls are never returned.

That's why I think, if I played along and put on some pressure, we would have been making love that night quite easily. But I chose to play the role of a nice guy and now she won't have anything to do with me. I'm almost certain she felt insulted because she perceived that I rejected her.

 

[crazyboy]

if she just a friend why you care if you could of have sex with or not.

 

[WorkingDJ]

if she just a friend why you care if you could of have sex with or not.

He doesn't want to have sex with her, he's wondering why his friendship fizzled out!

 

[dastud]

Please fellas,

Read clearly and help a confused brother out.

Lord knows we need all the help we can with all these crazy women out there.

Sigh.

 

[crazyboy]

He doesn't want to have sex with her, he's wondering why his friendship fizzled out!

great for saying that but you still haven't answer his question have you. Woman go through phases they have high and low moments. Im pretty sure after week or two it would go back to way it was. Im trying to see where the confusement is. Just don't call her for awhile and she would come around. just back off a bit.

Working dj next time answer the question if you want to be a smart azz.