From being romantic with a girl, to being friends with a girl...

[Soprano]

Just want your thoughts...... not really a typical 'ljfb' situation since my game was tight up until this happened....

Me and this girl were digging each other (it was def mutual...she was all over my **** n joked to her friends she was gonna marry me lol...always asked for pics of me....pretty decent IOI's) but we weren't together, although we were going to be, nothing was official, and she got back with her ex who she "loves the guy." they broke up because of drama in his life with his daughter, he even checked into the psycho ward, but he's apparently better now. dudes a total AFC but whatever im not trying to **** up his life even more by stealing his girl, if i could. ill admit i feel kind of insecure though, he makes more $ than me, has a ballin' house and may or may not be better looking. 4 years older too...

anyways....she has apologized to me profusely and said she will hook me up with a great girl lol....we've agreed to be friends. shes cool, im okay with being friends although i'd still hit it...(and yes i spoke my mind..."im cool with being friends... but damn i'd still tap that" she thought it was hilarious and said you never know what the future holds...ive got the sense of humor to pull off things like that, i dont recommend it for everyone lol). she refuses to cheat on her bf since its happened to her.

anyways, we dont talk near as much anymore (and this was prior to the "tap that" joke) and she never initiates convo anymore....im guessing its probably just because she has a boyfriend now.....i guess what i wanna know is if you guys think im a chump for still being friends with her and always initiating convo with her??? am i just over-analyzing a dead situation for nothing? tell me what you think about this....i still feel like i havent moved on or something, and it bugs me....can't put my finger on it....part of me feels like she ditched me for a better guy...and it makes me want to punch a small animal in the face

 

[GDrake]

Forget her and move on. If she wants you back, make her work for it.

 

[Soprano]

i am legitimately cool with being friends with her....i would also legitimately tap that...i havent lied about my intentions at all....i just still feel---i dunno how to describe it....like offended or hurt? this is the first time ive ever felt like a girl 'upgraded' to another guy with more money, better house, possibly better looking, etc...where i couldnt do anything about it

can anyone make sense of this? even thought im alright with it, am i still a b!tch for settling for being friends when i wanted more??? considering i still want to talk to her like we talked before...obviously minus the sex part though since im not really the kind of guy to f*ck another guys girlfriend anyways

 

[GDrake]

What are you getting from this relationship? If you are doing all the convo initiations, is it worth the effort?

 

[Soprano]

thats true...good point

 

[Igetit!]

Just want your thoughts...... not really a typical 'ljfb' situation since my game was tight up until this happened....

It may not be a "typical" ljbf scenario because of the way it happened,but the end result is the same,which is a guy who's sexually attracted to a girl being told by that girl that she just wants to be friends.

The reason you feel rejected is because she did reject you,it was just indirectly.




You said that you two "weren't together,but were going to be". But before this was able to happen,she got back together with her ex.



So while you two were "digging each other" and joking around about marriage,she had her ex on her mind. Then once he was available,left you to go with this guy who you describe as a "total afc".


This statement of yours here...

i just feel---i don't know how to describe it...like offended or hurt?

is just a witness to what I said.


All the time,energy,and emotions you put into her,then just leaves you for an AFC who just got out of the psycho ward.

That's why you can't describe "it". "It" is a combination of feeling rejected,insecurity,and the fact that you're "friends",which means that you're constantly around a woman you want but can't have,which is frustration. That's a lot of emotions all going on at once.



And you being around her continually stirs ALL THAT UP.

Me and this girl were digging each other (it was def mutual...she was all over my **** n

What EXACLTY does all this mean? Did you two used to date or not? Were you two ever in a sexual relationship or not? Because you say nothing was offical with you two.


So what does "digging each other" mean?

anyways....she has apologized to me profusely and said she will hook me up with a great girl lol....

To me,this is a slap in the face,her telling you she'll hook you up with other girls. Basically (to me) she's saying "I don't want you,but let me see if I can find someone else who does".


That's degrading imo.

she refuses to cheat on her bf since its happened to her.

We'll probably disagree on this,but to me her telling you she refuses to cheat because it's happened to her is a lie.


In my opinion,the reason she refuses to cheat isn't because she knows how it feels to be cheated on,but it's because she's not attracted to the guy (you) or other guys who've approached her.

i guess what i wanna know is if you guys think im a chump for still being friends with her and always initiating convo with her???

It depends on why you keep hanging around and initating convos with her. If it's because you secretly still want her,then yeah,it's chumpish behavior.


It also sort of reeks of desperation.This girl chose another guy over you and you still keep trying to hang around her and keep calling/texting/contacting her.


You may not be getting anything out of this so called "relationship" you have with her,but she is.



While you feel hurt,rejected,and angry over this girl,she gets an emotions boost knowing that all she has to do is just say the word,and you'll be there for her. Remember,you told her you'd still "tap that" if given the opportunity.


So she knows she's sexually attractive to you,plus you keep contacting her,which makes her feel good.



I'd just forget about her and move on.


The funny thing is if you do move on,then she'd start to show you attention.

 

[Soprano]

f*ck......good post man lol thanks for talkin sense into me i needed that

im not just friends with her because i wanna **** her...we just happen to get along....but i dunno im not gonna bother initiating contact any more....there are more constructive ways to spend my time

 

[GDrake]

Stop initiating. Go no contact. She's not worth your time. Would a real friend (male or female) drop you like that? I'd prefer to be friends with people that actually make an effort to be friends with me.

Just my $.02

 

[Soprano]

im gonna stop....thanks for your advice guys.