Friendzoned...and now she wants to hang out? What the Fcuk?!

[Rebound Material]

*I just realized that I made alot of posts about this particular target.*

So I got FZ'd by my target(a co-worker) a few days ago.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=139114

We've never actually hung out or gone on a date because she wasn't available apparently.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=137346

Our only means of contact was via text and short phone calls. And we see eachother only briefly when Im coming into work and she's leaving so I wouldnt say I really invested much or at all in her(Although I did have a slight oneitis for her for about 2 weeks).

Anyways, after giving me the whole friendzone speech, she sent some more ********(rationalization) texts and along the lines she mentioned "Anyways, we still need to hang out."...Never before has she said that to me or even attempt to reschedule the first time I asked her out(I was the flaker). Im pretty damn sure that she was just trying to make up(trying to make me feel better) for turning me down for Valentines Day. It just pisses me off that its usually when the girl blows you off is when they suddenly remember all the stuff that they have to make up for. Its only then that they all of a sudden even make suggestions of making up for their past flakings and etc.. Whats worse is that I also know that her suggesting we hang out has got to be a pitty thing...Im actually very surprised that im handling this turn down so well thus far, but I still have to see how I feel and act around her in person(we don't work the same days this week).

Now for my question:

1) Should I accept HER invitation to hang out? I know that the logical answer would be no. Say that Im busy or some sh!t. But at the same time if I turn her down without a VERY good reason like the first time I had to cancel(http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=136360), Im sure its saying that I was affected and is also a sign of weakness.

2) If I did end up hanging out with her, how do I act? Im guesing its not to act like I like her, but all the times we've ever interacted in person 80-90% of the time I flirt with her. Should I just be serious for the first time, or act like I normally do with her?

 

[KontrollerX]

She wants all the benefits of your company without giving you what you want.

Fvck this cvnt.

Don't waste one more second of your time on her.

Just say thanks but no and leave it at that.

You don't need an explanation for why!

Its not weakness its strength to reject this crap and go after what you really want.

Leave the friendship garbage to the AFC's.

 

[Obsidian]

never talk to the chick again


Tell her you're busy because you've got some reading to catch up on:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=39729
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=39769
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=39785
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=39887
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=39888
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=40188
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=40241
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=40347
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=40698
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=58363

 

[Rebound Material]

Thanks for the input guys. Ill get to reading all of those links after I get off work. Isnt it suggested that we don't ever burn bridges unless of course its absolutely necessary?

 

[KontrollerX]

You wouldn't be burning bridges unless she's a complete nutjob b!tch.

I mean just politely indicating that you don't get together with women as "friends" should be enough to send her the message of what you are all about without insulting her and again unless she's a complete nutjob that won't burn your bridge with her.

She will know the score and know what it takes to be in your life and make changes accordingly to do so at some point if ever she becomes interested.

If she flips out and gets offended again I say fvck her.

Whats she done for you lately?

 

[Rebound Material]

You wouldn't be burning bridges unless she's a complete nutjob b!tch.

I mean just politely indicating that you don't get together with women as "friends" should be enough to send her the message of what you are all about without insulting her and again unless she's a complete nutjob that won't burn your bridge with her.

She will know the score and know what it takes to be in your life and make changes accordingly to do so at some point if ever she becomes interested.

If she flips out and gets offended again I say fvck her.

Whats she done for you lately?

Good point. Good thing she's moving back to Texas soon...A question comes to mind though: Why do girls do that? The need for attention and validation? Cuz I swear I had her interest in the beginning unless I got teased the entire time of course...

 

[iqqi]

It doesn't sound to me that she has asked you to hang out. Her saying "we still need to hang out" isn't asking you to do something. Its being polite and full of sh!t. Do the same. Say "Yeah! We need to hang out..." then let your tone trail off and run along.

 

[Rebound Material]

So it happened. Earlier today she texted me saying that she was wondering if I wanted to get some lunch after her appointment. She also added that I stop calling her a flake(I stopped that and all initial contact toward her after she FZ'd me) and making her feel like a bad friend. I simply translated her msg in a more clear manner and got: "Hey, I feel kinda bad about putting you in the friendzone and turning your hangouts down and not ever making up for it. Can you hang out with me today so that my concious settles?"(correct me if im wrong or feel free to add if i missed something). Anyways, she texted me this out of nowhere as I was studying for a test I have today, so I simply told her the truth: "Thanks, but you actually caught me at a very bad time. I have a very important test tommorow and I need to get an A. Besides, I don't want you worrying about me thinking that you're a flake. Don't worry about it.". I tried to sound as honest, mature, strong and un-bitter, but hell its text =P. She tried to play it off by saying that she was kidding about the whole "...so you could stop calling me a flake and making me feel like a bad friend." thing and that she thought she'd get some food because apparently this is a rare time for her to be not busy...How'd you guys think I handled this?

 

[swifTy]

So it happened. Earlier today she texted me saying that she was wondering if I wanted to get some lunch after her appointment. She also added that I stop calling her a flake(I stopped that and all initial contact toward her after she FZ'd me) and making her feel like a bad friend. I simply translated her msg in a more clear manner and got: "Hey, I feel kinda bad about putting you in the friendzone and turning your hangouts down and not ever making up for it. Can you hang out with me today so that my concious settles?"(correct me if im wrong or feel free to add if i missed something). Anyways, she texted me this out of nowhere as I was studying for a test I have today, so I simply told her the truth: "Thanks, but you actually caught me at a very bad time. I have a very important test tommorow and I need to get an A. Besides, I don't want you worrying about me thinking that you're a flake. Don't worry about it.". I tried to sound as honest, mature, strong and un-bitter, but hell its text =P. She tried to play it off by saying that she was kidding about the whole "...so you could stop calling me a flake and making me feel like a bad friend." thing and that she thought she'd get some food because apparently this is a rare time for her to be not busy...How'd you guys think I handled this?

man, i would have said, "thanks, but, ive got a test on" and left it at that. by adding that extra bit in that you did, it DOES sound like your bitter.

 

[WesCottII]

Our only means of contact was via text and short phone calls.

...Why would you communicate with a woman like this? Face to Face dude. No wonder she FZ'd you. I'd be tempted to go out and try face to face, and if it didn't work, sack her off.

 

[JackPrescott]

*I just realized that I made alot of posts about this particular target.*

So I got FZ'd by my target(a co-worker) a few days ago.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=139114

We've never actually hung out or gone on a date because she wasn't available apparently.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=137346

Our only means of contact was via text and short phone calls. And we see eachother only briefly when Im coming into work and she's leaving so I wouldnt say I really invested much or at all in her(Although I did have a slight oneitis for her for about 2 weeks).

Anyways, after giving me the whole friendzone speech, she sent some more ********(rationalization) texts and along the lines she mentioned "Anyways, we still need to hang out."...Never before has she said that to me or even attempt to reschedule the first time I asked her out(I was the flaker). Im pretty damn sure that she was just trying to make up(trying to make me feel better) for turning me down for Valentines Day. It just pisses me off that its usually when the girl blows you off is when they suddenly remember all the stuff that they have to make up for. Its only then that they all of a sudden even make suggestions of making up for their past flakings and etc.. Whats worse is that I also know that her suggesting we hang out has got to be a pitty thing...Im actually very surprised that im handling this turn down so well thus far, but I still have to see how I feel and act around her in person(we don't work the same days this week).

Now for my question:

1) Should I accept HER invitation to hang out? I know that the logical answer would be no. Say that Im busy or some sh!t. But at the same time if I turn her down without a VERY good reason like the first time I had to cancel(http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=136360), Im sure its saying that I was affected and is also a sign of weakness.

2) If I did end up hanging out with her, how do I act? Im guesing its not to act like I like her, but all the times we've ever interacted in person 80-90% of the time I flirt with her. Should I just be serious for the first time, or act like I normally do with her?

This ignorant bittch needs to be "nexted" immediatley. Dont be her male girlfriend. Let her know that you want inside her panties and if that isnt in the future for you two, Hasta la Vista.

 

[JackPrescott]

Good point. Good thing she's moving back to Texas soon...A question comes to mind though: Why do girls do that? The need for attention and validation? Cuz I swear I had her interest in the beginning unless I got teased the entire time of course...

Lots of women, especially the attractive ones love the attention, and have no interest in getting naked with you. It's all about their EGO.

 

[drak_ool]

Friendzoned...and now she wants to hang out? What the Fcuk?!

this is exactly what friend zone means: she don't wanna fvck you but she wants you to be her "girlfriend", and possibly use you as an emotional tampon when **** goes wrong with other guys

Regarding your chances with this chick: everybody s saying "next her", "forget about the cvnt", etc... However, here s what i think: you haven't even got to hang out with her face to face. Sh.it man, if you got good one-on-one game you might as well take her up on her proposal to hang out just to see what can come out of this. I know, you d be walking a thin line between complete AFC and true DJ, but if you think you got what it takes you should do it. Worst that can come out of this is you get another LJBF talk and then you can next her without any remorse.

 

[MacAvoy]

Most importantly, I think what a lot of guys are missing here is that she is a coworker. Don't date people at work. How many people do you know that are married and work together? Do you really want to be spending 18 hours a day with someone?

You never had a chance with her, you were in the friend zone the minute she started work, thats the way women think, she was nice to you because she works with you.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Disagree with the dont date folk at work - I know plenty of couples who met at work and got married. It happens all the time.

I do agree that if you date and it goes wrong, work can be rubbishhhhhh.

the text you sent was way too long, and as said before simply saying,

'sorry, i have a test on' would have been more than enough...get away from this lass, your hung up over her and for what? why is she so special, whats she done?

 

[iqqi]

man, i would have said, "thanks, but, ive got a test on" and left it at that. by adding that extra bit in that you did, it DOES sound like your bitter.

He is completely right.

You shoulda responded by saying "You buyin? I am kind of high maintenance."

Or something.

I mean, it is Valentine's Day.

 

[bigjohnson]

Depends on the office or site. One of our facilities has over 1000 people on site, so working together takes on a whole different meaning. On the other hand both being sales people at the same car lot would suck I'd imagine.

 

[Rebound Material]

man, i would have said, "thanks, but, ive got a test on" and left it at that. by adding that extra bit in that you did, it DOES sound like your bitter.

He is completely right.

You shoulda responded by saying "You buyin? I am kind of high maintenance."

Or something.

I mean, it is Valentine's Day.

Actually I think that would have the complete opposite effect. Normally when we talk(especially text) our responses are kinda lengthy because theres alot of flirting, joking and etc. But ever since she FZ'd me, she would text me something random like "I like how you wrote on my time card at work. thanks, that was very nice of you." I guess to get me talking and I would respond with close ended responses like "You're Welcome". No playing, no joking, no enthusiasm. Im sure it was showing that I didnt wanna talk to her. I was actually was very tempted to text her with a simple "NO" to her invitation, but thats just way cold, thats why I made sure to explain why I couldnt make it which was a true answer.

Most importantly, I think what a lot of guys are missing here is that she is a coworker. Don't date people at work. How many people do you know that are married and work together? Do you really want to be spending 18 hours a day with someone?

You never had a chance with her, you were in the friend zone the minute she started work, thats the way women think, she was nice to you because she works with you.

I figured that to be a high possibility too.

Friendzoned...and now she wants to hang out? What the Fcuk?!

this is exactly what friend zone means: she don't wanna fvck you but she wants you to be her "girlfriend", and possibly use you as an emotional tampon when **** goes wrong with other guys

Regarding your chances with this chick: everybody s saying "next her", "forget about the cvnt", etc... However, here s what i think: you haven't even got to hang out with her face to face. Sh.it man, if you got good one-on-one game you might as well take her up on her proposal to hang out just to see what can come out of this. I know, you d be walking a thin line between complete AFC and true DJ, but if you think you got what it takes you should do it. Worst that can come out of this is you get another LJBF talk and then you can next her without any remorse.

This is what I was actually thinking about and what a good friend of mine suggested too. He said "if she's going back to Texas anyways, then i say fcuk it. Might as well go all out.". Like most guys, I was tempted to take up her offer for lunch, but knowing that this invitation couldnt have been a genuine "i WANT to kick it with YOU" thing made me cringe. Its like doing a poor sap a favor.

 

[drak_ool]

hey, i wasn't saying "take her out to lunch". No way! right away you re giving your power away by accepting her plan. No! I was saying, hey, since she seems to wanna hang out with you make her a counter-offer: "sorry can't do lunch, i m too busy, but i can do ............ on (whatever night)". Then, if she does end up coming you can go all out since you got nothing to loose

 

[DonGorgon]

I have 1 real female friend and she is from my child hoop.... all my other female friends and f-buddies or Ex's... LOL