Friendzoned and dont know what to do.

[cooldragon]

i am infatuated with this one girl and it is killing me and i dont know what to do. i met this girl from work in december and at first didnt really care cause i had a gf. i eventually started talking to her and by january liked her alot and asked her out. i thought it was good timing cause we were always together.
however she said no and said "she doesnt date" and her reasons were weird. one of my other friend actually asked her if she would go out with me and she said possibly...

well its may now and we have slowly drifted apart as friends too or atleast i feel we have. i have avoided her alot cause i dont want to be just friends and i am afraid to ask her again cause she already said no once plus we arent as close as we were before. i dont want to be her friend at all cause it sucks being in that position. however, i know the answer most likely if i ask her again. is this a lost cause or do i have a chance. whats the best thing to do her? i am thinking to maybe pursue it more but dont know what to do or move on

 

[librito]

make a search for the most famous term there is in this board.
it is called ONEITIES.
read then and learn cause we have all being there and we know how you feel.

everybody is gonna tell you to drop her because as you said, you are in the "lets just be friends'" zone.

 

[Bvbidd]

To get out of the zone would mean to not obsess and make posts about her on the internet. Which your doing now.

Forget about her and mabye one day you too will meet up, then strike while it's hot.

 

[diablo]

DJ Tips is for giving tips; please read the description under the forum section before posting. Moved to DJD, thanks.

 

[cooldragon]

yeah i have the case of oneities. and i know i am really stupid for spending time thinking so much about her. yeah i definitly want to drop this and i am thinking of totally dropping her out of my life because i am kind of friends with her other friends and i know her for a while now. it would be awkward. i get jealous and hope to be going out with her when ever i see her and by reading what i just wrote i feel really pathetic.

so i definitly gotta get better and start meeting more girls cause i only two three other girls except for her. 2 are just friends the other i may go out with but its difficult to see her. so i gotta expand and go out there and find a girl that is actually worth my time.

 

[belividere]

so i definitly gotta get better and start meeting more girls cause i only two three other girls except for her. 2 are just friends the other i may go out with but its difficult to see her. so i gotta expand and go out there and find a girl that is actually worth my time.

Quite trying to be friends with girls that you want to sex. Your just going to start this whole thing over again. Search through the site and read the DJ Bible theres a lot of great information on here to help you out.

My take on the friendzone is that once you are in it than you have limited ways out. If you have mutual friends and will see this girl every so often than spark her competitive edge by bringing around girls who are truly interested in you. If she has feelings about you than you will find out, there is always the chance that she doesn't though. At that point though who cares if you can meet other girls without a problem you probably wont want her anyways

 

[crumpiteer]

ya,drop her and move on. don't waste time thinking of her since she doesn't seem to care anyway.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

i am infatuated with this one girl

This one line explains why you will lose in this situation

If she said "she doesn't date" in response to you asking her out when you two were somewhat close, I highly doubt she would jump at the chance to go out with you if you asked her again. However keep in mind that even though you DO have one-itis, if you ask her out again and she's already mentally rejected you, then it CANNOT get any worse than it already is, as long as you don't start stalking her after that.

One-itis is synonomus with failing because whether she says "yes" or not, if/when you ask her out again, your emotions are showing on your sleeve and when you show all your intentions to a girl too early you lose. If I were you I'd ask her out without any expectations. That way your pleasantly surprised if she says yes. Remember there's a big difference between persistence and desperation. Don't be the latter.



PIMP

 

[cooldragon]

yeah if i ask her out again then it would just most likely be a no cause we arent close at all anymore. i am more of just a friend. i can see that she is interested in another friend moreso than she is in me so i am thinking of completly just moving on. slowly just get her out of my life cause it isnt worth it for me to be her friend and there will always be that tension and it will just keep hurting me more and more. i dont work with her anymore so i dont have to see her. i dont know if just avoding her is the chicken way out but i just dont want to care anymore and be doing better things in life.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

i am infatuated with this one girl and it is killing me and i dont know what to do. i met this girl from work in december and at first didnt really care cause i had a gf. i eventually started talking to her and by january liked her alot and asked her out. i thought it was good timing cause we were always together.
however she said no and said "she doesnt date" and her reasons were weird. one of my other friend actually asked her if she would go out with me and she said possibly...

well its may now and we have slowly drifted apart as friends too or atleast i feel we have. i have avoided her alot cause i dont want to be just friends and i am afraid to ask her again cause she already said no once plus we arent as close as we were before. i dont want to be her friend at all cause it sucks being in that position. however, i know the answer most likely if i ask her again. is this a lost cause or do i have a chance. whats the best thing to do her? i am thinking to maybe pursue it more but dont know what to do or move on

Great case to reiterate my point of NOT GETTING INTO THE FRIENDZONE, PERIOD, IF YOU ARE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO HER.

You dug yourself into a hole here. Try bing confident, funny, and ****y with her. Then take her out.

 

[cooldragon]

well i remmember a few times when she actually told me why i didnt get the other girls number when i went to the mall with her a few times. plus there are other examples that show me that there is no attraction. looking back i made a whole lot of mistakes.

i tried last week not to contact her at all and i rarely ever call her. i let her call me. and i didnt pickup the phone for a 4 days and didnt see her for a week and my life was alot less stressful and just better. but then i saw her yesterday and i just reverted back and i am posting here. so i think the best thing to do is to just stop seeing her and talking to her as less as possible. that way i can just move on. i dont know if she will let me though. i used to think she was a really good friend but i dont think i can stand being a friend even though she is a good person.

 

[poohead]

GFTOW

do not mention this girl again.

 

[Latinoman]

i am infatuated with this one girl and it is killing me and i dont know what to do. i met this girl from work in december and at first didnt really care cause i had a gf. i eventually started talking to her and by january liked her alot and asked her out. i thought it was good timing cause we were always together.
however she said no and said "she doesnt date" and her reasons were weird. one of my other friend actually asked her if she would go out with me and she said possibly...

well its may now and we have slowly drifted apart as friends too or atleast i feel we have. i have avoided her alot cause i dont want to be just friends and i am afraid to ask her again cause she already said no once plus we arent as close as we were before. i dont want to be her friend at all cause it sucks being in that position. however, i know the answer most likely if i ask her again. is this a lost cause or do i have a chance. whats the best thing to do her? i am thinking to maybe pursue it more but dont know what to do or move on

#1- You approached her like a friend and HUNG AROUND her as a friend

#2- She already said "no"...which under the circumstances can have some legal connotations (e.g. you both work together and sexual harrassments can become a possibility if the person ALREADY said "no" once)

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

I'm going to give you a trick that may work to get you out of the "friendzone". Ok, hear me out for a sec. Please note, this is a bit pricey, but you will get your money's worth in any case.

Step # 1: Tell her you are going to the club with some buds later in the week, and she should come along.

Step # 2: Use the net to research escorts, and find the hottest one you can! SHE HAS TO BE HOTTER THAN YOUR FRIEND! This could be pricey of course, expect to pay $150-300 per hour. Tell the escort you are trying to pick up your "friend" so she should be all over you, all the time! The escort will do this.

Step # 3: Meet up with your friend at the club, or wherever. Introduce her yo your "friend" the escort. Pay very little attention to your "friend", and all your attention on the escort. The escort will be all over you, kissing and grabbing and all. Your "friend" will see this super hot chick all over you and will make her jealous. Why? Because our "friend" sees that you scored this chick which she knows is 1000 times hotter than her. Your status has increased 10 fold. She could of had you, turned you down, and now here you are with this smoking chick. Her competitive juices will start flowing and will want to tap your a** hardcore!

Try this, it may not work, but if it don't you still win, because you are going to be tapping an a** that's hotter than your "friend" anyways that night!

 

[Krak]

Good grief I'm reading the story of myself from one year ago. Save yourself the trouble and frustration and just move on. Don't call her, don't answer her calls but don't be an ass about it. Just tell her you've been busy if she asks why you are avoiding her. Trust me, she is not worth trying to get, much less think about. The best thing you can do is, well, ANYTHING that doesn't remind you of her. Eventually she will be a distant memory. You might think back and wonder, "I wonder what ever happend to her." and then you will find out that she started doing drugs and got fat like my oneitis did :crackup:

 

[crumpiteer]

I'm going to give you a trick that may work to get you out of the "friendzone". Ok, hear me out for a sec. Please note, this is a bit pricey, but you will get your money's worth in any case.

Step # 1: Tell her you are going to the club with some buds later in the week, and she should come along.

Step # 2: Use the net to research escorts, and find the hottest one you can! SHE HAS TO BE HOTTER THAN YOUR FRIEND! This could be pricey of course, expect to pay $150-300 per hour. Tell the escort you are trying to pick up your "friend" so she should be all over you, all the time! The escort will do this.

Step # 3: Meet up with your friend at the club, or wherever. Introduce her yo your "friend" the escort. Pay very little attention to your "friend", and all your attention on the escort. The escort will be all over you, kissing and grabbing and all. Your "friend" will see this super hot chick all over you and will make her jealous. Why? Because our "friend" sees that you scored this chick which she knows is 1000 times hotter than her. Your status has increased 10 fold. She could of had you, turned you down, and now here you are with this smoking chick. Her competitive juices will start flowing and will want to tap your a** hardcore!

Try this, it may not work, but if it don't you still win, because you are going to be tapping an a** that's hotter than your "friend" anyways that night!

why waste time and money doing these? by going through the trouble of hiring an escort,you're just reminding yourself that you are still infatuated with her, & you can't forget her and still hoping for a chance that she'll return to you...you're not only bluffing her, you are just deceiving yourself and trying to prolong the pain..

just drop her and move on. There are many other things worth doing.