Friendzoned After Window of Opportunity Closed

[magevis]

37 year old man. 23 year old muslim girl, a virgin. Work in the same office. Started hitting on her last November. We would stay in the office late(3 times). On all occasions she would play love songs for me on hr laptop. She drew a stick photo of me once and said that what she does when she starts liking someone. She would feed me using her bare hands a few times. I did not escalate. We never met outside the office so i never got the chance. She would send me memes and claim to miss me. I told her that i wanted to marry her, she tells me to convert to Muslim, by studying for 6 months then get back to her

This year after a 2-week holiday she has been cold. I felt it and in a moment of madness blurted out my feelings and told her that i loved her. She said categorically it cannot happen between us and that we should remain friends. Now i find out another colleague, her own age has made inroads with her an dthey will probably have sex soon. The guy is not Muslim

Blow to my ego seeing as we are in the same exact office. Dont know how to approach things from here. I know for sure i cannot get her but seeing her giggly on her phone makes me sick. How do i maintain frame and stop this from affecting my work? How do i detach?

 

[Aguirre]

To impress her you'll need to release your inner Muhammad.

1. Grab a dish towel and wrap it around your head.
2. Grab the largest knife or sharp object you can find.
3. Run at the man wielding the knife whilst she is there with him and yell 'aloha snack bar!'
4. When he gets scared, grab him and put him in the Camel Clutch, then break his back and make him humble.
5. When he runs away make sure to call him a filthy jew or something worse that reveals his Jewishness.
6. Tell her to cover up and what a whoore she is.
7. Show her who is boss and beat her with a stick.

This has worked for centuries.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women open the door, how long that door stays open will depend on how attracted to you she is... if it's a small window of opportunity then her interest is low. If you don't walk through when the door is open, she closes it and moves on.

It doesn't matter if a woman is Muslim, Christian, Jewish, atheist, Wiccan.... et al etc. They are all the same, if they are sane.

Having said that, don't worry about it. The door was open for a very short time, your likelihood that this would have developed into something is low. Move on... plenty of women in the world.

 

[Clockwerk50]

There are times when it’s okay to take a step back. This usually comes later in a seduction, after you are sure of the other person’s affection. However, there are moments when creating space and absence can actually blow up in your face. Absence at a critical moment can cause the other person to lose interest, and it also leaves too much to chance. While you are away, they could meet someone else who distracts their attention from you or the priorities may change.

In your case, you were hesitant and didn’t escalate. Imagine a roller coaster: you need initial kinetic energy at the beginning in order to finish the ride.

Go no contact. Ignore what you can't have.

 

[magevis]

There are times when it’s okay to take a step back. This usually comes later in a seduction, after you are sure of the other person’s affection. However, there are moments when creating space and absence can actually blow up in your face. Absence at a critical moment can cause the other person to lose interest, and it also leaves too much to chance. While you are away, they could meet someone else who distracts their attention from you or the priorities may change.

In your case, you were hesitant and didn’t escalate. Imagine a roller coaster: you need initial kinetic energy at the beginning in order to finish the ride.

Go no contact. Ignore what you can't have.

It's almost impossible to go no contact when we work in the same office. Any weird energy between us, and other colleagues will definitely notice. How do i execute the no contact then?

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Not so sure how serious she is on the Muslim bell curve, but I've known very close friends who tried to date women who have professed Islamic faith. In both of those cases the lady said the exact same thing. "You have to convert first; I'm forbidden to date someone who is not a Muslim." It's considered Haram. We (my friend group) laugh at his immaturity back then as he told her "I'll destroy your entire m-f-ing religion, then!" As you might have guessed he had no wish to change something that big in his life for a woman. Just because you aren't willing to and don't consider it a deal breaker, others darn well will.

Not my sweat equity, but my humble suggestion is to move on. You never know, she may bend even those rules for the right or wrong guy. My buddy got "close" to scoring and she still felt awful about even doing what any other religion I know of would have been more forgiving of.

 

[BaronOfHair]

This year after a 2-week holiday she has been cold. I felt it and in a moment of madness blurted out my feelings and told her that i loved her. She said categorically it cannot happen between us and that we should remain friends. Now i find out another colleague, her own age has made inroads with her an dthey will probably have sex soon. The guy is not Muslim

She just may not be into you

 

[Gamisch]

I might sound harsh BUT..;

I'm glad you FINALLY learn this lesson at 37. Do NOT shyte where you eat. Period.

Some will say "but xyz percentage of couples met at work". OK. And how many % end up stuck in fecked up situation? With that I mean either other orbiters that are jealous and "hate watch" ? Or relationships that didn't work and now you're stuck seeing someone every day while you really don't wanna see her?

Work and bizz should be separated. Now let time do his/ her thing and heal these wounds. Remember that other dude will get all the slack and bs instead of you.


As usual, the REAL issue is YOU not having other women or option while EVERY woman will have multiple options at all times. You gotta be grateful that this happened to you.

Now, cut all contact. Be polite in the office, but not more or less than you would be to your fat male colleagues. Treat her as a fat male colleague you don't wanna talk to. No more fishing for attention amd validation. Let alone that you get into "couple activities " as letting her feed you with her dirty bare hands while you didn't hit it...you were friend zoned all along mon ami.


Next time do NOT have any kind of relationship with women in the office. Make that law.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It's almost impossible to go no contact when we work in the same office. Any weird energy between us, and other colleagues will definitely notice. How do i execute the no contact then?

I’m sure the awkwardness is most likely coming from you. If you were more confident and your life was fun and fulfilled, the energy spent thinking about this situation would be pointless. You are not going to get over this if you keep continue in this path of inferiority.

Just be polite and talk to her when necessary. Treat her like an acquaintance, for example, say hi when you cross paths. Have a purpose in life. Go on a vacation. Stop looking her way. Go work out. And again, talk to more women.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It's almost impossible to go no contact when we work in the same office. Any weird energy between us, and other colleagues will definitely notice. How do i execute the no contact then?

And this is why you never hit on women at work. At least you didn't get reported to HR (yet). My advice is to stop talking to this girl except where necessary for work purposes and start pursuing other women.

 

[MatureDJ]

It's OVER for FenestrationFermetureCels.

 

[MatureDJ]

And this is why you never hit on women at work. At least you didn't get reported to HR (yet). My advice is to stop talking to this girl except where necessary for work purposes and start pursuing other women.

It's OK to hit on a gal at work, but you have to be a Chad:

 

[Pumax]

If you don't walk through when the door is open, she closes it and moves on.

For me, the same woman opened it several times.
The first time when we were single. (Then she closed it.)
The second time when she was in a relationship and I was single. (Then she closed it.)
The third time when she was married with children and I was single. (Then she closed it.)

A woman who closes the door doesn't guarantee she's forgotten about that man forever, she may keep him inside.

@RangerMIke

how long that door stays open

This makes us think there are some "objective" durations which we could evaluate her interest?
Like she open that for a month, that is only a crush?
What about six months or higher?