ASlowTaker
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2011
- Messages
- 12
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Good day one and all, ladies and gents!
Boy, been a while since I last posted. Social life really takes away from your internet posting time, I tell you.
Anyway, this time I'm not looking for advice, or necessarily posting it either, though someone might be able to take something away from this. I'm just in a good mood, and figured someone might like to hear a oneitis-friendzone-misery -story, with the right amount of growth and learning, and an ending that differs from the usual.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=185691
And old thread I made, and the only one actually. Didn't remember it existed, until I ran into it from my old bookmarks by chance a month ago or so. Figured I'd come back with a sequel, though chances are nobody's going to read all of this anyway. Who knows, onward.
The gal that other thread is about was not in fact interested. We had a bit of fun later that year, but we came to a conclusion that we're better off as friends, and left it at that. I was fine with it, too. I really liked her as a friend, so at least I didn't lose that with my dignity and hopes for a life together.
After I was through the self pity and the complimentary bottle of whiskey, I got up, brushed my clothes, and went on my way. I started making a lot of friends, started expanding my social circle at a speed never experienced before, started a lot of hobbies, got a great job, started eating and dressing even better than before, and generally just kept evolving beyond my old self.
As you all know, this would of course result in a lot of women suddenly jumping out from the hedges, and things were great. Dates, friends, job and a social life which left little time for anything else, all the while hanging out with the girl I originally wanted to be with as friends.
Things kept moving forwards like this for 6-8 months, though I still wasn't seriously dating anyone. Then, somewhat out of the woods, I ended up sleeping with the woman who had given me so much grief in the oh so distant past. Whoops. I had noticed our chemistry clicking, but for me she was still just a friend, and I had no intention of it ever becoming everything else, but at the end of it all, we decided to be friends with benefits. No strings, no pressure, just fun times between two good friends.
"Cool", though I. "I get to enjoy our amazing chemistry when just hanging out, plus I get sex, while still being able to do whatever I want with other women. This couldn't have gone better!"
So we kept going like this for a while, about two months maybe. Towards the end of November of last year, I realized that we were suddenly spending more time together than ever, and most of the time, things related to sex, or things often associated with relationships.
"What the hell" said I to myself. "What is this broad up to now, I wonder".
One night after about four hours of foreplay (apparently I'm quite good at it, plus I like it), she said to me, and I quote:
"I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you now"
Knowing better this time around, I knew this was the time to blow the whistle. I sat her down, and told her that we would now return to being just friends with absolutely no benefits or healthcare. I knew I wasn't going to able keep going like this forever without eventually developing new feelings for her, so I figured it would be better to stop here while I would still be able to steer away without too much trouble.
She was quite pissed at first, being basically at the point where I would have drowned had I tried oral on her, but I figured she'd get over it, and I have to put myself before her needs. Bad news was, since we weren't at my place or her place, we had to drive home together the next day.
But we got to talking during the drive, and I again explained my position to her and why it's better to stop here and go on our separate ways, since I knew I was looking for a relationship instead of just sex, whereas she was merely after the sex.
Or so I though. Turns out, while spectating my growth from the sidelines, she had started to develop feelings for me instead, and the friends with benefits deal was her way of trying to mask it. Which is what I thought at some point, but ignored because, well, I didn't really care, or want to care.
After the car ride, we started at her aparment at about 17:00, and finished at my place at 03:00 or so. And now, we are together, and mutually happy (she texts and calls me an awfully lot daily, considering how she's definitely not the type).
The best part? I still have my life from before, but now, I get to have sex and go on dates with the girl I now realize I might be falling in love for; not puppy love either, as we've been friends for over 2,5 years now, but the real kind. I know her, faults and all, and she knows me just as well, and we still want to be together.
I understand this is not so relevant to most people here, who are just looking for sex, but let me tell you, sex with her is a million times better than sex with any random one night stand.
I think I might be happy. It might not last forever, or not necessarily even for long (who knows what tomorrow will bring), but for the time being.. I'm happy.
That's my story. What I learned is something brought up numerous times before this, but trusting it was always hard. DJ techniques really work, whether you're looking for sex or a relationship. Live for yourself, and women will follow. Keep evolving, but not necessarily changing. If you want something, go after it, unless it's a woman who doesn't want you.
Become a better man, live for your dreams and ambitions, and she will come around. If she doesn't, she wasn't worth it to begin with.
Have a good one all, I'm off to play hockey, then to a meeting, then floorball practice. Then, who knows
Boy, been a while since I last posted. Social life really takes away from your internet posting time, I tell you.
Anyway, this time I'm not looking for advice, or necessarily posting it either, though someone might be able to take something away from this. I'm just in a good mood, and figured someone might like to hear a oneitis-friendzone-misery -story, with the right amount of growth and learning, and an ending that differs from the usual.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=185691
And old thread I made, and the only one actually. Didn't remember it existed, until I ran into it from my old bookmarks by chance a month ago or so. Figured I'd come back with a sequel, though chances are nobody's going to read all of this anyway. Who knows, onward.
The gal that other thread is about was not in fact interested. We had a bit of fun later that year, but we came to a conclusion that we're better off as friends, and left it at that. I was fine with it, too. I really liked her as a friend, so at least I didn't lose that with my dignity and hopes for a life together.
After I was through the self pity and the complimentary bottle of whiskey, I got up, brushed my clothes, and went on my way. I started making a lot of friends, started expanding my social circle at a speed never experienced before, started a lot of hobbies, got a great job, started eating and dressing even better than before, and generally just kept evolving beyond my old self.
As you all know, this would of course result in a lot of women suddenly jumping out from the hedges, and things were great. Dates, friends, job and a social life which left little time for anything else, all the while hanging out with the girl I originally wanted to be with as friends.
Things kept moving forwards like this for 6-8 months, though I still wasn't seriously dating anyone. Then, somewhat out of the woods, I ended up sleeping with the woman who had given me so much grief in the oh so distant past. Whoops. I had noticed our chemistry clicking, but for me she was still just a friend, and I had no intention of it ever becoming everything else, but at the end of it all, we decided to be friends with benefits. No strings, no pressure, just fun times between two good friends.
"Cool", though I. "I get to enjoy our amazing chemistry when just hanging out, plus I get sex, while still being able to do whatever I want with other women. This couldn't have gone better!"
So we kept going like this for a while, about two months maybe. Towards the end of November of last year, I realized that we were suddenly spending more time together than ever, and most of the time, things related to sex, or things often associated with relationships.
"What the hell" said I to myself. "What is this broad up to now, I wonder".
One night after about four hours of foreplay (apparently I'm quite good at it, plus I like it), she said to me, and I quote:
"I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you now"
Knowing better this time around, I knew this was the time to blow the whistle. I sat her down, and told her that we would now return to being just friends with absolutely no benefits or healthcare. I knew I wasn't going to able keep going like this forever without eventually developing new feelings for her, so I figured it would be better to stop here while I would still be able to steer away without too much trouble.
She was quite pissed at first, being basically at the point where I would have drowned had I tried oral on her, but I figured she'd get over it, and I have to put myself before her needs. Bad news was, since we weren't at my place or her place, we had to drive home together the next day.
But we got to talking during the drive, and I again explained my position to her and why it's better to stop here and go on our separate ways, since I knew I was looking for a relationship instead of just sex, whereas she was merely after the sex.
Or so I though. Turns out, while spectating my growth from the sidelines, she had started to develop feelings for me instead, and the friends with benefits deal was her way of trying to mask it. Which is what I thought at some point, but ignored because, well, I didn't really care, or want to care.
After the car ride, we started at her aparment at about 17:00, and finished at my place at 03:00 or so. And now, we are together, and mutually happy (she texts and calls me an awfully lot daily, considering how she's definitely not the type).
The best part? I still have my life from before, but now, I get to have sex and go on dates with the girl I now realize I might be falling in love for; not puppy love either, as we've been friends for over 2,5 years now, but the real kind. I know her, faults and all, and she knows me just as well, and we still want to be together.
I understand this is not so relevant to most people here, who are just looking for sex, but let me tell you, sex with her is a million times better than sex with any random one night stand.
I think I might be happy. It might not last forever, or not necessarily even for long (who knows what tomorrow will bring), but for the time being.. I'm happy.
That's my story. What I learned is something brought up numerous times before this, but trusting it was always hard. DJ techniques really work, whether you're looking for sex or a relationship. Live for yourself, and women will follow. Keep evolving, but not necessarily changing. If you want something, go after it, unless it's a woman who doesn't want you.
Become a better man, live for your dreams and ambitions, and she will come around. If she doesn't, she wasn't worth it to begin with.
Have a good one all, I'm off to play hockey, then to a meeting, then floorball practice. Then, who knows
