Friends zone... is it all that bad?

[Fuglydude]

Hey all... conventional wisdom dictates that the friends zone is an undesirable spot to be in.

However, in my experience some of the best relationships start off initially as friends and then progress into relationships. This was the case with my girlfriend...well we did fool around shortly after we initially met, but she's not into casual sex/dating so we ended up becoming closer friends while she dated an a-hole.

After they broke up, we quickly became more than friends...I was busy being a hor at this time and didn't wanna commit, until I realised that she was worth leaving my lifestyle for.

Even now that I'm hooked up, I have a lot of female friends, some of whom I've fooled around with. A lot of them will initiate contact with me because they wanna see me to hang out, and generally I still flirt a lot with my female friends. I've even had a female friend ask me to sleep with her directly... I guess I just don't understand why the friends zone is so dreaded. As long as you're not giving up power, acting like a wussy and becoming an AFC, whats' wrong with being in the friendszone?

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Dude when you're flirting with the girls you know you're not in the fz,you ,must be like totally asexual and neutral towards them to get into the real fz hell.

 

[Buck Rogers]

absolutley. its hell

 

[Fuglydude]

Its pretty tough for me to be asexual because I like making sex jokes and look for sexual inneundo in everything... I love to goof around.

I know I'm being a retard, but its still difficult for me to really grasp why the friends zone is bad! I mean you can never have enough friends right...plus female friends = networking opportunities, and social proof in the eyes of other females if you're out together...

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Fz isn't bad by itself IF you want to have female friends,yes there are all the ++s BUT fz with your oneitis(if one) is hell.
Conclusion is,fz is good when you actually want that but if you're trying to bang a girl it gets in the way and causes problems.

 

[Docs]

The FZ is bad if you want the girl for more. You understand how not to be affected by it.

 

[Fuglydude]

Fz isn't bad by itself IF you want to have female friends,yes there are all the ++s BUT fz with your oneitis(if one) is hell.
Conclusion is,fz is good when you actually want that but if you're trying to bang a girl it gets in the way and causes problems.

I guess this makes more sense...

Im' still friends with all the girls i've hooked up with in the last little bit...If you wanna bang a girl and you're friends with her why/how does it hurt your chances of sleeping with her? If anything shouldn't she be more comfortable with you... you'll just have to build up the sexual tension, but thats' the fun part of the game...

Me and my girl have an awesome relationship...I dont' have to hide anything from her and we can talk about everything really openly. I think this is because we started out as good friends prior to moving to this stage.

 

[Docs]

Most people, once friendzoned because of being UNINTERESTED in YOU, especially a girl you are INTERESTED in, makes it hell for those who get themselves stuck there

It's like the idea of finding treasure and a storm put you on this deserted island....

(I'm referring to something here, who's going to pick up on it... )

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

It really depends man,fz is not determined by TIME alone,you may have known her for a year and she would still fall for you.Some things to ponder are 1)If there's any sexual tension 2)Are you an emotional tampon? 3)Does she pay for anything?(this is a bad clue) 4)Does she talk about her bf/other guys?.This is a stereotypical fz situation now if 1)You rarely meet (far less than with your buddies as an example) 2)Only have fun discussions 3)Some sexual tension,innuendo,kino...anything SEXUAL 3)No word for guys/bf then you may have a future-prospect situation.

 

[Fuglydude]

Docs... your analogy sounds interesting... wanna clarify it for us? I'm also not sure what you meant in your previous post by "you understand how not to be affected by it"...referring to the FZ of course.

How is one supposed to be affected by being in the FZ...i make it a point to flirt w/ my female friends, even when we're both taken. This makes it fun, and sexual tension is always yummy.

 

[Fuglydude]

It really depends man,fz is not determined by TIME alone,you may have known her for a year and she would still fall for you.Some things to ponder are 1)If there's any sexual tension 2)Are you an emotional tampon? 3)Does she pay for anything?(this is a bad clue) 4)Does she talk about her bf/other guys?.This is a stereotypical fz situation now if 1)You rarely meet (far less than with your buddies as an example) 2)Only have fun discussions 3)Some sexual tension,innuendo,kino...anything SEXUAL 3)No word for guys/bf then you may have a future-prospect situation.

Gloriously insane...interesting post. Cool way of characterizing what's considered FZ... to engage your points w/ me and my gf, and previous experience however:

1) Sexual tension: Ya, we're attracted to each other...I tease her a lot still. Haha, she likes me talkin dirty, naughty text messages, etc. I love building sexual tension, probably my favorite part of the game.

2) I'm definitely an emotional tampon, and I dont mind being one. She says I really know "what to do" when she's upset. I've also sat w/ other chics and let em spill their guts. I don't see why this is bad...

3) I don't let my gf pay for anything because at the moment I'm in a better financial situation that she is. She wants to pay/split etc, but I just dont' let her. I'm like this with lotsa female friends too...I'm a pretty generous guy.

4) I've never had a problem w/ women talkin about their past relationships. Me and my girl do this quite a bit. It doesn't really bother me. I think past relationships kind of shape the person you are... so why not discuss them?

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

I was talking about current relationships in 4).Anw about the tampon thing there's a difference between "hearing the problem" and "helping her solve the problem",i read that somewhere here and found out alot later that it was true.
For an example a girl would say "im feeling sad" and some afc buddy of mine would do stupid stunts to make her feel better,which is not the same as "i know what you mean.." or some other bs just to discuss her feelings.
And anw if your female friend is now your gf why are we even discussing these things? After you're in a ltr you should fz each other

 

[Docs]

Docs... your analogy sounds interesting... wanna clarify it for us? I'm also not sure what you meant in your previous post by "you understand how not to be affected by it"...referring to the FZ of course.

How is one supposed to be affected by being in the FZ...i make it a point to flirt w/ my female friends, even when we're both taken. This makes it fun, and sexual tension is always yummy.

Well, you're asking hwo come the friendzone is bad, and you're saying you never had a problem with it. THAT'S GOOD . The very fact you said that makes you instantly cool. You have your stuff together, especially in saying you flirt with your female friends, even when taken, among other things. You are a Sexual being by nature, and you use it to your advantage.



-For the analogy, some people think of a deserted island as..well...we're screwed, this sucks. Robinson saw his deserted island as adventure, experience, a chance to do things you'd never do normally. That translates into, you're friends with the girl, so you can do more risky things with her then you would do if you were trying to game her. Essentially, no limits, EXACTLY what you're already doing,

 

[Fuglydude]

haha, ya I guess you're right... I just never really understood why the FZ was bad...

Thanx for the replies gentlemen.

 

[Jay Jay]

Well, you're asking hwo come the friendzone is bad, and you're saying you never had a problem with it. THAT'S GOOD . The very fact you said that makes you instantly cool. You have your stuff together, especially in saying you flirt with your female friends, even when taken, among other things. You are a Sexual being by nature, and you use it to your advantage.



-For the analogy, some people think of a deserted island as..well...we're screwed, this sucks. Robinson saw his deserted island as adventure, experience, a chance to do things you'd never do normally. That translates into, you're friends with the girl, so you can do more risky things with her then you would do if you were trying to game her. Essentially, no limits, EXACTLY what you're already doing,

Well said Doc!

Yo Fugs! I'm in a similar boat. My female friends know I'm a sexual being and know that I am aware of their feminity. Its a good place to be.

JJ

 

[Docs]

I was asking my ex what she thinks I do wrong (because we were on the subject of stupid stuff again). Anyway, she mutters something, and I didn't hear it. She goes on the defensive, denying even saying it (the classic 'nothing'). Of course, I've known her way too long, so I know something is up.

I start prying, trying different angles of getting the answer, and I mentioned a chick I nailed, and she mutters something again but cut herself off. I think she's been noticing I've advanced in sexuality, and I'd go so far to say she might be interested in finding out. (I shamelessly flirt with her anyways, I use a lot of material without even noticing).

Hmm....and she'll be coming down sometime this summer....just gotta hide her from the other girls. I got more then enough creative ways to get a kiss out of girls these days (..I should start using them,,)

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I dont think you have been friendzoned in your examples and thus have defeated the premise of your own thread.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I dont think you have been friendzoned in your examples and thus have defeated the premise of your own thread.

Agreed.

Fuglydude, you are not understanding what constitutes the "friendzone." Being friends is NOT the same thing as being in the "friendzone". They are completely separate.

 

[Fuglydude]

From what I understand so far, being friends w/ a chic is different from the FZ in that in the FZ there is a desire to want more from the girl, yet she relegates you to being her friend (meaning: not getting any poom poom from her).

Explain this to me then: What's up w/ girls that wanna be your friend, still wanna be naughty with you, but do not wanna commit more seriously to you...would that be a FZ kinda situation as well? I've had this with many girls, thankfully not all of them were potential candidates for anything long term, otherwise it woulda sucked for me!

 

[STR8UP]

Well said Doc!

Yo Fugs! I'm in a similar boat. My female friends know I'm a sexual being and know that I am aware of their feminity. Its a good place to be.

JJ

I made a post in the mature forum about having a lot of female friends and I got blasted.

Like some of you have said, there's a difference between being friends with a chick and being in the friend zone.

Same as being a nice guy versus a "nice" guy. As long as you are aware of your circumstances and are happy with the direction it's going, there is NOTHING wrong with having chicks as friends.