"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Friends with benefits suddenly blocks me

green69

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Okay so I met this girl just over a year ago, we went out on a few dates which went pretty well. She moved to a different city for school for a semester for 6 months but moved back in July. When she came back, we hung out every couple of weeks and hooked up every now and then. She couldn't afford her smart phone so she had to go without a cell for a month or so while she transitioned. We had to make arrangements to hangout over Facebook which seemed to work fine.

Everything is all good until October...we make plans for our next hang out. Suddenly she isn't responding to FB messages. I sent one asking if she wanted to hangout at this bar sometime...no response. I see her on Facebook chat, talk with her flirt a little bit everything "seems" normal I say we should hangout she's like sure sounds good. Week later I send a casual message if she wants to hangout on Wednesday of that week...no response. Really strange behaviour since every single time we planned to meet she would make herself available and now she's totally ignoring me. Not even a courtesy "fake busy" response like most chicks give if they aren't interested...instead I get absolutely nothing. About a week or so later, she deletes me off her Facebook.

This whole thing just seems really weird to me. I've been on several dates with girls before and when things didn't work out it just kinda drifted away. This make sense because the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. In this situation, we went from enjoying each others company one day to her completely cutting me out of her life for no reason at all (from my perspective). If this was some girl I went on 2 or 3 dates with then I'd be like whatever who cares...but I've known her for over a year and we did hangout and talk a fair amount in 2010.

I have no idea why she's acting this way but I want some kind of resolution to her actions. I don't know if she even has a cell phone right now, and her Facebook profile is the type where you can't message unless you add her. I sent her an email a week or two ago just saying what's up and I hope all is well which she didn't reply too. Her internet use is sporadic as she has to use her roommates laptop but I'm pretty sure she checks her email at least once in a while. I really wanna know why she did this, I'd rather her say "I decided I thought you were a total scumbug" rather than not knowing wtf is going on. I had a theory that she got a BF who found out about us and didn't want her to have contact with me etc...but that's just a guess but regardless I think she at least owes me an explanation on what's going on but I'm not sure how to approach it without seeming like a stalker or something.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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scorpio1138

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green69 said:
If this was some girl I went on 2 or 3 dates with then I'd be like whatever who cares...but I've known her for over a year and we did hangout and talk a fair amount in 2010.

I have no idea why she's acting this way but I want some kind of resolution to her actions.
If she is not making contact with you and removed you from her facebook then she's done with you and probably getting it elsewhere.

She's a booty call/friend with benefits which means you treat it like...whatever who cares. Thats how you deal with friends with benefits.

Resolution is not giving a crap and getting more new girls in your life.
 

NoCommitments

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You are acting like the chick here! Wah I need resolution?? Come on bro. really? Step back & look at urself! Do u really in ur heart think she owes you anything?? u guys were f*ck buddies..if u continue reaching out to her you will lose all respect & dignity from her & prob from all of us!!! Grab ur b*lls & walk away knowing u f*cked the crap out of her for a year!
 

scorpio1138

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forgot to add, you should no contact her, but keep her in your phone.

she *might* give you a free lay a month from now, but don't count on it.

Now get going on meeting more women!
 

seagull

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Danger said:
Wow, green, how many times do you need to have the answer given to you.

No answer IS an answer. Do not give her the opportunity to refer to you as that "creepy guy I slept with who doesn't get the hint".

Just walk away.
This. So simple, but the OP can't put two and two together.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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powpow

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she might have found a boyfriend.
she might have found another **** buddy.
she might have found religion.

dude theres about a million reasons why this stuff happens. relationships are worth pursuing. **** buddies come and go easily. dont stress it. it gives you a new adventure to go find another **** buddy. get on that.
 

BDDazza

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Sounds like she’s got a BF or is in a relationship of some sort and doesn’t want the temptation of cheating around (you) or her new BF doesn’t approve of male friends and has ordered her to stop communicating with you. Either way, move on and next her. She will come running back and if she doesn’t who cares?
 
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