"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

friends with benefits situation

incognito42

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 15, 2005
Messages
505
Reaction score
14
Age
40
I need a little help, Im gonna try and give a timeline of events....


-I got a job about 6 months ago and started working with this real cool chick who loves to party and have a good time.


- Initially I have no physical attraction to this girl


- girl breaks up with her bf but keeps living with him as friends only, because she cant afford to move out yet


-I start renting room out at bosses house.


-We flirt a lot in work, but I think she is just flirty and likes attention.


- We start hanging out outside of work, go drinking a couple nights, and to an amusement park and the beach one day


- I start realizing this chick is really fun to hangout with, and start becoming attracted to her.


- On one hand shes made it clear she wants to be single, and have fun. On the other hand shes done things that make me think she could be really into me.


- Knowing this, I think it to be best for me to keep playing it cool, and try the friends with benefits route.


-I went from nearly taking her home with me one night, to completely blowing things the following night, and at this point serious regret and panic crept in over what I perceived as me missing my open window...


-So she gets kicked out of ex bfs house because of going out drinking with me that night, and has nowhere to go, so rents out other room in bosses house where Im living



I realize Im going to be told that what happened next was very foolish and that I shouldve never done this, and trust me I knew that going into the following conversation but felt I had to put it out there at this point.....

- I go out for food and drinks with her after work one day, and tell her Im into her and that Im nervous about telling her because we work together, and now live together, and how awkward that could make things if my telling her that didnt go well. I tell her I know she doesnt want a bf, to which she replies that she doesnt and says to me that she thought I didnt want a gf, to which I replied that I really didnt. Then I say Im not afraid of getting rejected, but worried about how it might effect our working/living situation if I was rejected. She then said that she had NOT rejected me, and at some point in this conversation commented about how its nice to have someone to "cuddle with and have good times with, and then who knows". And then she said that I shouldve just come out and said this earlier and that it wasnt that big a deal


Since this happened about a week ago, weve hungout a couple times, she still texts me often, and we watched a movie in my bed. Id just appreciate any comments or suggestions or thoughts on where I should take this situation next and what her level of interest might be. Thanks
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

incognito42

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 15, 2005
Messages
505
Reaction score
14
Age
40
I can't figure it out. I think I probably just wanna fk her but the anticipations starting to build and make me like her. I think me not being able to figure her out is part of what intrigues me too
 

incognito42

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 15, 2005
Messages
505
Reaction score
14
Age
40
Hould I stay aggressive and forward with her and try to get her in bed asap or play it cool and not show her much attention?
 
Top