Friends w/ Benefits

[Toke]

Alright, I've been friends with this one girl for like 4 years. We were always friends, then over the last year or so we became really close. Her 3 year relationship ended just recently, within a few days we went out, and ended up making out on my couch.

She had always said stuff about how she'd want to go out with me if she wasnt w/ the other guy, and always telling me how cute I am and such.

So when this happened, I admit I had high expectations. Problem is, I havent seen her since, and its been a few months. Now she does live like 2 hours away, and I dont know if she's been in town (she only came back before to see her bf).

I've talked to her online a bit since, but as it stands now its been a month since I've heard from her (I know, its a bad sign).

My thoughts on this is that she doesnt want a serious relationship yet. So I'm curious as how to go about suggesting a friends w/ benefits relationship? I've had no experience in that field, so I dont have a clue how to go about it.

 

[Entity]

To be completely honest, I don't know if it would work in your situation. She may believe that you are trying to take advantage of the fact that she is vulnerable due to her break-up. But that's just my personal opinion.

 

[Toke]

Actually, back in the day when I first met her, she was known to have relationships like that.

I dont think she'd think I was taking advantage of her. She knows I've never had a GF, and "taking advantage" of someone just isnt me at all.

 

[trajhenkhet]

IL ebbs and rises like the tides. As you improve and gain experience, things should rise and flow more often for ya. There are going to be a few losses unless your extremely lucky partner. Just remember it only takes one special lady to make up for all the bull**** ones.

 

[Toke]

um....

 

[Ofus]

Originally posted by Toke
I'm curious as how to go about suggesting a friends w/ benefits relationship? I've had no experience in that field, so I dont have a clue how to go about it.

If it were me, I wouldn't ask, I'd just do it. You're already friends, now just add some benefits.

 

[Toke]

How am I just supposed to do it? I havent seen her since that night man.

And I dont want to look like some needy bastard by phoning her every weekend (when I dont even know if she's home for the weekend or not)

 

[Ofus]

You said you were really close with this girl right? So, just call her up and say you want to hang out. Just like you would have before any of this happened.

Yeah, you're right, you don't want to call her all the time. But once a week isn't needy, especially considering you're already good pals.

You know this girl better than we do man. Just get together with her somehow, whatever seems natural. Then get her alone & go for the kill. No talking about it, no discussing what she wants relationship wise or whether she wants to be friends with benefits. Just go for it. If her answer is no, she'll let you know.

 

[Toke]

Hmm... I'm off next weekend, so maybe I'll give her a call.