"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Friends w/ Benefits Homecoming Drama

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river105

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I screwed up.

A couple weeks ago I asked this girl I have been hanging out with to go to homecoming with me. She said "sorry, but I wanted to go with this guy, but he said no, and im not even sure if im going, ill get back to you" So AFC as I was (and still pretty much am), I said, ok, talk to you then.

So a week passes and Ive been reading this site. I do just a couple things: tease sexually and use kino, push & pull, working on my terms, and all of a sudden her attraction level is way higher. She asked me out, initiates convo's, starts flirting...etc. All in a couple days. I even turned down her date because i was "busy".

Well she says today that we need to talk and that she had last week (after i asked her) promised to go with another guy to spite the original guy she wanted to go with. I cant really blame her, as last week I very AFC and not playing things right. BUt tonight she asks if I was OK with that.

I said "What if I say no?" and she says ill fix things then. Well then I start saying that she should go with whoever she wants to go with, not someone just to spite another person, and that I really think she should be going with the original guy. I said that I dont mind, cuz i could find another date.

NOW HERE IS THE DILEMMA

I know I should have dropped this chick by now, but Im thinking that she could be a potential fvck buddy candidate, and I could then care less who she is dating. The thing is, she might think i have no balls and am a AFC now since I didnt really stand up to her homecoming thing. Shouldve I? Is it a **** test?

I have a date with her coming up, and im thinking of doing one of three things at the end:

1) Telling her that I wont put up with her going with another guy. Thats final.

2) Tell her that it was really hard for me to force myself to go on this date because I really didnt want to, and that Im fed up with giving her second chances.

3) Ask her in some way to be a friends with benfits.


Any thoughts?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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eminence

Senior Don Juan
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I'm not a Don Juan or even close to it, but my suggestion would be to not do any of those 3 things. You guys arent dating, from what I can tell you havent even kissed the girl yet, so honestly I think you would become even more of a AFC if you got upset with her and created a scene. It will blow your chances if you actually like this girl.

When she said that she'd 'fix things' if you said no, then you should of told her that you weren't ok with it. You blew that one, so now i'd suggest taking another girl to the dance and play it off cool like you don't even notice her, if she likes you she'll come to you.
 
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river105

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We have been casually dating for the past halfa year, we went to prom together, etc... Its just that when we first went out I could see her losing attraction, then she started going out with another guy, then I asked her out again, except this time I used some DJ stuff and it has went OK.
 
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eminence

Senior Don Juan
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casually dating? so you've slept with her?
 
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river105

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eminence said:
casually dating? so you've slept with her?
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No... Basically going out on dates, kissing, etc. no sleeping with her, although i have reason to believe she might be a possible fwb.

IM trying to think of a way to bring that up. I may not bring it up, just let it happen. My main concern now is that Ive been trying to be a challenge for her, but by saying that its ok that she is going with someone else to homecoming, i think i basically told her that im her puppy dog and will do anything just so i cant still hang out with her.

The thing is, I dont really care if she goes to homecoming with someone else, im not interested in a committed serius relationship. I just want that fun fwb, but I still need her attraction so she will want to do it too.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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GaryUranga

Master Don Juan
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well if you told her that which could mean the puppy thing, then do the opposite at prom, show her thats not what it meant at all, take some hot chick or something just prove that it means "I dont really care if she goes to homecoming with someone else, im not interested in a committed serius relationship. I just want that fun fwb"
 
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