My best friend is a girl. She's dating someone. We pretty much know that he's jealous that we're best friends, and we have a great relationship. Now her boyfriend doesn't like our relationship. He hasn't threatened me, but he's acted way different around me when they got together. What should I do?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Friends Respecting Relationships
- Thread starter Bling
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
He does ANYTHING threatening, kick his ass. Or tell her, then ask her if you can kick his ass. Kick his ass either way. Or just be friendly around him.
I like to be VERY dominant and kicking his ass would be priority #1 for me to protect myself. Because I'm super duper.
I like to be VERY dominant and kicking his ass would be priority #1 for me to protect myself. Because I'm super duper.
heh heh, you sound like one of my friends. I think the best thing to do would be to just play it cool, if he says anything to you, just explain that you are just friends. But whatever you do, don't get angry or lose your head. That way if he ends up making a fool of himself, his girl will be there to stick up for you.
Sometimes when you grow up (in pre-school and shizniot like that) and you have many guy friends (none of which you keep), and a girl you've known since you were a rugrat lives right next to you, you become quick best friends.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
TonyTheTigerOI
Master Don Juan
youre best friend should not be a girl. She can be a friend... but the bonding is different. I would invest some time in expanding my circle of male friends if I were you.
But in response to ur question... if your friend were a guy, and his GIRLFRIEND was *****ing that you guys hung out to much, what would you do?
I would calmy say that if she didnt like me and my best friend relaxing and having a good time, she could figuratively **** her self. then I would smile and walk away.
But in response to ur question... if your friend were a guy, and his GIRLFRIEND was *****ing that you guys hung out to much, what would you do?
I would calmy say that if she didnt like me and my best friend relaxing and having a good time, she could figuratively **** her self. then I would smile and walk away.
i think i have to disagree with you guys. put yourselves in boyfriend's position... if ur girlfriend was going out with the one she defined "her best male friend", would you be perfectly ok with that? maybe some of you, but just the real confident ones.
i personally don't make a big deal about her going out with male friends, even though she used to like one of them, i often ask her to invite her friends over on saturday nights, but they hate me for staying with her (they like them since they were freshmen, now they are juniors), so they always refuse. not that i'm confident, i just wouldn't give a sh1t if she cheated on me with somebody i don't know (plus they are biggest AFCs). anyway, i'm talkin' about myself not you, i'm sorry
what i mean is, as soon as u get a chance to talk with her boyfriend ALONE (not to her presence), explain that you are very cool about them being together, but you noticed that he doesn't trust you and that really upsets you since you should be friends.
if u say it in the right fashion, not only you are going to have a new friend, but also you are going to look really alpha in his eyes
i personally don't make a big deal about her going out with male friends, even though she used to like one of them, i often ask her to invite her friends over on saturday nights, but they hate me for staying with her (they like them since they were freshmen, now they are juniors), so they always refuse. not that i'm confident, i just wouldn't give a sh1t if she cheated on me with somebody i don't know (plus they are biggest AFCs). anyway, i'm talkin' about myself not you, i'm sorry
what i mean is, as soon as u get a chance to talk with her boyfriend ALONE (not to her presence), explain that you are very cool about them being together, but you noticed that he doesn't trust you and that really upsets you since you should be friends.
if u say it in the right fashion, not only you are going to have a new friend, but also you are going to look really alpha in his eyes
TonyTheTigerOI
Master Don Juan
Because it is wrong for your best friend to be of the opposite sex. It deprives you of a level of comfort you SHOULD have with SOMEONE on this green earth.
Mr. Debonaire
Master Don Juan
I think you have a point. personally, I don't care if my girl hangs out with guys, because i have that level of confidence. but an insecure guy would obviously see this as an affront to their relationship. If she's hot, then he probably figures that you must have game if your hanging out with her so much, so he puts two and two together.Originally posted by Jay-X
i think i have to disagree with you guys. put yourselves in boyfriend's position... if ur girlfriend was going out with the one she defined "her best male friend", would you be perfectly ok with that? maybe some of you, but just the real confident ones.
i personally don't make a big deal about her going out with male friends, even though she used to like one of them, i often ask her to invite her friends over on saturday nights, but they hate me for staying with her (they like them since they were freshmen, now they are juniors), so they always refuse. not that i'm confident, i just wouldn't give a sh1t if she cheated on me with somebody i don't know (plus they are biggest AFCs). anyway, i'm talkin' about myself not you, i'm sorry
what i mean is, as soon as u get a chance to talk with her boyfriend ALONE (not to her presence), explain that you are very cool about them being together, but you noticed that he doesn't trust you and that really upsets you since you should be friends.
if u say it in the right fashion, not only you are going to have a new friend, but also you are going to look really alpha in his eyes
ps if you don't care if your girlfriend cheats on you its time to dump her ass and move on
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.