friends? or possible lovers?

[frusciante1234]

ok so theres this girl that I really really want to get with and weve been friends for a year. I always just considered her a cute girl whos a possibility but recently I have become intensly attracted to her. She has sent me so many mixed signals I really have no idea if I have a chance with her or not. I already graduated high school but she didnt so thats why I'm posting in this forum. Please read this I know its long but bear with me

I met her about a year ago through one of my friends from work. For some reason from the first time she met me she was obsessed with me, saying she was in love with me and asking my friend to bring me to her house all the time. Wenever I saw her she would give me a huge hug, get real excited and just generally seem really happy to see me. Now my friend who introduced us, is about the biggest afc you could ever imagine. So I would text this girl jokes about my friend, and she would laugh alot. This progressed into me and her texting back flirty conversations. Everything was going well, but I didnt really like her, I just kinda kept her around as a possibility. New Years Eve I think I mighta ****ed up, apparently I drunk dialed her and had a 6 minute convo I have no memory of, I have no idea wat i said but wenver i bring it up she starts laughing.

After the new years incidint i was embarrased and didnt talk to her for a few months, then one day I texted her like nothing had happened. We got back into flirtatious text mode. For example she decided to question what my ambitions and goals are. I told her my goal is to pleasure her in any way possible and she giggled and said she likes that goal. Anyway we started talking again and over the next year we became very good friends, having great deep discussions about all kinds of things, but we never lost that flirtatious edge. She went on vacation for a month and called me the first day she got back. I figured she was just waiting for me to make a move, and I was starting to like her more and more.

Eventually I decided to jsut ask her out. It came out of nowhere and definatly seemed to take her by suprise, but she said no, saying were too good friends and i was too old for her. (Btw this girl is a virgin and rarely hooks up with guys.) I was dissapointed but I didnt let it get to me, I just kept talking to her like nothing happened. So over the next couple months I would bring up to her the idea of hooking up with me, and how great it would be, etc. The funny thing is wen I talked about it she would get a huge smile and shyly look away while saying no. But her body language still says yes. Sometimes I kino her and I can just feel the electricity, she starts smiling for no reason just cause I touch her hand. We also have one of those mental connections where it just feels like we come from the same place. However she tells me that I'm not her type and I have qualities she finds unattractive.

She told me she hooked up with some guy (which she never does) and I found myself jealous. Thats wen I realized that I actually liked her. I ignored her for 2 weeks after that, during which she tried to hang out with me several times, and told me how much she misses me. Anyway this girl has always been pretty sexually reserved, shes not the kinid of girl who struts her stuff, she dresses pretty conservative, etc. But recently she posted pics on her facebook of her wen shes drunk I guess and I;ve never seen her like that. Shes like a sex goddess and I had no idea. Shes a 10 hiding inside a 7. So now I'm extremely interested and I'm just wondering what do you guys suggest I do? I really dont think I can be friends with her anymore I've got to either hook up with her or cut her loose, and of course I would greatly prefer the first scenario lol

 

[Monkey]

She sees you as the safe friend she can practice flirting with.

'Too good friends' and 'too old' is simply wom@nese for low interest level.

All the flirting, huge smiles and shyly looking away, or whatever you think is between you, (and I say 'you think' because you are projecting your feelings onto her and its doubtful she feels the same) - all this means nothing if she won't accept a date with you.

Your feelings mean NOTHING here - its HER feelings which will lead to a date and I just don't think she has high enough interest in you.

 

[frusciante1234]

****. so is there any way to salvage the situation?

 

[Monkey]

Thing is, you should want a girl who is willing and enthusiastic to date you and eventually be your girlfriend, not someone like this who is making every excuse to avoid it.

Sure, ask her out again, put her on the spot and see what she says, but understand if she was even the slightest bit interested in you as a potential boyfriend she would gladly accept a date.

Bottom line is - shes never seen you that way and never will - thats just the way it is.

Stop wasting your energy on her but keep her around as a friend and see if she can introduce you to some of her girlfriends.