Friends disagree with handling of breakup

[lifeislearning]

Had a good thing with a younger gal for a year. Highs and lows like any relationship but pretty great overall. After a couple days acting weird I see the writing on the wall.

"We need to break up."
"Ok, bye."
"Don't you wanna talk?"
"Not really. What is there to talk about? You've made your decision. Bye"

Commence no contact. Working out, talking with friends, hitting the dating game despite my reluctance. Taking the time-tested road back.

My friends cannot believe I just walked away. "You're not the kind of guy to give up so easily!" I agree, but what other option did I have? Beg, plead, lower myself and destroy any dignity I had in her eyes, and most likely be rejected anyway. I'm not that guy anymore.

I believe we all deserve to have someone who wants to be with us, and if she wants out when things are great, enjoy my absence. I'm looking for a higher love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwuHtbcvTh8

Of course it hurts, I miss her company, and the dating world is terrible. Reality is I shouldn't have to convince someone they want to be with me. I didn't see another realistic option then, and I don't now. Am I wrong?

 

[speed dawg]

Congrats, man. That takes some balls to do, but it sounds like you have it down. Don't expect others to agree with you, truly enlightened people are often seen as outcasts or radicals.

 

[Huffman]

Can't ask all your friends for relationship advice man. Only worse thing would be to ask your mum.

 

[MOTU]

Well done, Repped. The time to "fight for her" would have been in the build up to the breakup. If she would have opened with "I think there are some things we need to work on in our relationship", that's fair enough. But she didn't. She went for the throat.

And of course she didn't like it, it showed she had no power over you. And your friends are probably just worried that you have now set the bar too high for them and they will look like chumps when their b!tches drop them.

 

[BondAFC]

Good for you.
You judged her behavior which is always more important than her words.
Never try to keep someone who doesn't want to keep you...

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Learner,
Oh they are such moody creatures,she will be back don't worry...My Mate down the Road left a Wet Dish Cloth in the Sink,on finding it his wife shouted and carried on,said she was leaving...I told him to behave as if nothing had happened...He did,they seem happy as Larry Now!

 

[VladPatton]

Good man! Best success story I've seen in a while. Forget your friends' relationship advice, you're your own masterr and you know the deal. They have pea-sized balls.

Keep us up to date with what goes down. Her hamster must be red lining!

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

As Borat would say, "Very nice!"

 

[Desdinova]

"We need to break up."
"Ok, bye."
"Don't you wanna talk?"
"Not really. What is there to talk about? You've made your decision. Bye"

You handled it perfectly. There is no reason to drag things out and discuss the relationship when it is finished.

I had a really rough breakup a couple of years back. She was moving the conversation toward ending the relationship, so I finalized it. As I was getting my stuff on to leave her place, she asked for a goodbye hug. I said "no" and walked out the door.

The way I see it is if you want to end the relationship, you're not entitled to luxuries like being friends, being on my Facebook, hugs, etc. Regressing after progressing in a relationship is difficult and emotionally draining. So why do it?

 

[lifeislearning]

Deleted her from facebook, phone, and the bullsh*t texts she sent for my birthday. Didn't even read them. Typical girl; posting every social function she's been to while I have posted none of mine. Reminds me things aren't always as they seem.

Still, I wish there was more justice. She's attractive and there are hordes of guys who will put up with her lack of integrity for it. Met a cute girl, brought her home and it took every ounce of willpower not to wish I was back with the ex. Tried to focus, enjoy the moment. After an hour I just wanted her to leave. Perhaps I'm not ready for something meaningless, that's never really been my style anyway.

I know I should be glad to see her true colors and thankful to avoid serious commitment with that. Hard concept to grasp. Unfortunately my friends are not the crew to help me with the ladies, that role falls to me.

Now I'm trying to focus on a couple things at a time. Spend my life more and more where I want it. Allow some time to zone and relax and not sh*t on myself for needing it. Get out and talk to people, no matter who. Thanks for the support gentlemen.

 

[mikey2012]

She didn't fight for you, so why fight for her. You handled the breakup perfectly. Don't listen to your so called friends. Walk away with your dignity and your head held high.
But remain NC. even if she begs and pleads you. Make sure that bitvch begs for at least few months before you even respond.
You don't need someone like that. Go find a higher class woman.

 

[Donnie Darko]

"We need to break up."
"Ok, bye."
"Don't you wanna talk?"
"Not really. What is there to talk about? You've made your decision. Bye

Great response. Short and sweet.

 

[logicallefty]

Hey Lifeislearning, lifeis+repping. I got more coming at ya. Handled like a real man right there. It is so much easier said than done.