Friends and gf

[DonJuanit0]

I have a mindset that I don't want my gfs to hang out with me and my friends. And certainly not get stack with a gf being in the same company and not being able to break up with her after.

Me and my friends go out everyday, usually in the afternoon for a coffee and sometimes at nights. The thing is that since I don't want my gf to be with us she gets suspicious or she just doesn't like it!

My current gf says: I don't want to hang with you all the time but I'd like sometimes to come with you! Spend some time with you and your friends. Also, just because I go out everyday with my friends, she says that I don't give her much "daytime", which I do occasionally but only like 1/2 times a week.

I don't know why, and it's not because I am ashamed of her or anything like that, I just don't want her to be with us. I feel like it's something for me.

What's your thoughts on the matter? How do you guys handle gf/friends?

Of course she has met my friends and has hanged out with us but only like 2-3 times.

 

[devilkingx2]

personally, I agree with you for entirely different reasons

I feel that you'll either neglect your GF or your friends if you're hanging out with both in the same place and that the way you'd be around/with your GF and the way you'd be around/with your friends are entirely different and clashing styles

however, it basically sounds like the only reason you don't want to hang out with her is because you want to be able to drop her like a rock on a second's notice

AKA, you're just not that into her.

 

[TheException]

Shes seeking MORE EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT.

Women need emotional security in a relationship. Having them on the edge between feeling "loved" and "unsure" is the best balance. However when the balance gets tipped to far to the "unsure" side....she will reach out and attempt to extract more emotional commitment from her man. The best way to approach this, is deflect for awhile....then invite her to hang with your friends at an unexpected time. If you dont want to bring her during your "normal hangouts" then make new plans and go out with everyone. If your friends have girlfriends....have them tag along.

So you have two choices....

1.) Deflect, then give her signs of commitment(small doses) at unexpected times = Girlfriend feeling loved

2.) Continue to ignore her and over time(several months) she may begin to resent you and start fights over nothing. Breakups usually follow.

Keep your relationship in balance....never too loving....never too neglecting.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Both well answered! Thanks! Devil is right, I am not THAT into her although I do this with the majority of my gfs if not with all of them.

I'm gonna try no 1 from TheException and see where it goes for a while! It might work out after all.

Thanks both.

 

[om1xr]

You must know that knowledge is power and the more a person know about you the more he/she will be able to know your weak points and the nerves that she have to push when she wants something.

She is looking for more emotional investment from you and get more approval from your friends and their love/admiring because those are the guys that you will hang out with when you are going through some bad phases or emotional breakdowns .....so their opinions will affect your decisions and dropping her will be more difficult!

keep that sh*t separated.....at least that's what i personally do and when it comes the time to drop a plate, no one is going to know that until i tell them by myself!