Friend zoned through inaction

[BaronOfHair]

Anything to confess

I'm both Batman AND The 2nd Gunman On The Grassy Knoll

 

[Desdinova]

She's really hot, get on so well. I feel I've shot myself in the foot by trying to keep her on the back burner so long.

Advice? Salvageable? What would be the best way to approach this?

You can always recover, but you're not going to do it overnight. Leave her alone for 6 months or longer. Then try again if she ever appears in your vicinity. When and if she appears, be enthusiastic about running into her. Enthusiasm is contagious.

ALWAYS do maintenance on the women in your vicinity. Keep teasing them. Keep them interested. Keep them in your orbit. When you're ready, you can pick the one(s) you want. If they're not available, just wait a little while. They'll get tired of their AFC boyfriend.

 

[Chow Mein]

You had your shot, bud.
There isn’t a woman that is going to wait around for you to make a move, she gave you ample time.
She decided to move on, and trust me….when women move on, there is no will on earth that can reverse that decision.

She got your hamster spinning, unintentionally.
You lost what you could have had an opportunity for. It sucks, but best to learn and move on.

Once you are over this slight oneitus, meet her up in that common bar a couple weeks from now randomly. Be non-chalant, but put on your big boy pants and go for what you want.

 

[BadBoy89]

Like there is this other girl right now. Who's a complete freak.

- Gets off on my tieing her up,
- spanking her,
- choked,
- being told she's a good girl and calls daddy.

You think introducing talking about my sex life could spin this ?

I would avoid it.

I don’t think telling a girl you want to “choke her” would turn her on.

 

[SW15]

Advice? Salvageable? What would be the best way to approach this?

It's likely not salvageable. It's unfortunate that you met her randomly in life while in a bad spot emotionally and needing to recover from a previous relationship.

This is a classic case of attraction has an expiration date.

Attraction Has an Expiration Date

A guy meets a girl he likes. He starts talking to her, and there's electricity in the air. Attraction. He can tell she likes him. A lot, even. She tells him all kinds of things about herself, her eyes wide and filled with excitement. It feels as though there's a bubble around them, in which only...

www.girlschase.com

The only thing that you can do right now based on what you want is to cease all interaction with her forever. The attraction window passed. If you want sex/a romantic relationship from her, it's not going to happen.

I recommend avoiding the friend zone with women. It's a bad idea to be a woman's platonic friend when you are interested in her for more than that. Additionally, I have tried being friends with women in situations when I was not interested in her romantically/sexually. Those friendships were unfulfilling for me and ultimately ended.

In my 25+ years in the mating environment, one of the best things that I have done is avoid friend zones. It's helped me avoid numerous bad situations.

There is a downside to avoiding the friend zone. When a man does this, he will receive few social circle introductions to women. Those social circle introductions can be extremely valuable. The easiest way to get a girlfriend with the least amount of grief and frustration is through a social circle. The use of swipe apps, sending DMs, and approaching strangers in person will all be more unpleasant and more frustrating ways to meet women and find sex/long term relationships.

 

[Vanderdonck]

OP did she explicitly reject you?

 

[jhonny9546]

she gave you ample time.

She gave me three years, but I was never into her. She stayed single, then settled with someone else. But he’s not really her man, she still wants me.

So yeah, if a woman desires you, there’s no such thing as a permanent friendzone, even after years or other relationships.
But for sure there is timing.
A precise place and time where you will be given the opportunity to change your status from friend to partner.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Just make your move. Start sexualizing every convo. Tell her how hot she looks but in a sexual way like whispering it in her ear and then taking a little nibble on her ear lobe as you pull away. Start touching her.

Basically just drive her wild til she can't take it anymore.

This above + direct approach (invite her for a date yourself).

Pro's:
- you may actually score/date her

Con's:
- none, it's not like you need super hot female friend

Even if she has friend zoned you for now, it's better to indicate that you are not gay and were busy before/going through break up (you can say it upfront if she will ask why did you not ask her out before)

Good luck (m)