Friend zone but not really

[mb24]

Ok I know this topic has been done to death but hear me out please. I know that most people here view the friend zone as a maximum security prison you will never EVER escape, but I think this could be a little different.

I've known this girl for about a year and we are good friends. We hang out lots and have fun together. We drove to far away places together, walked all over together, seen the occasional movie and even spent nights together - you get the idea. I've always treated her as a girlfriend rather than a friend and I never put up with bull****. I keep getting the feeling she has a crush on me but is too shy to take the first step. Here's why and I don't know if this is what girls do with their male friends generally because I have never been in this situation before. Don't even ask how it got to this, I don't want to go into it but it's due to a few reasons.

So: whenever she walks with me, she keeps close and bumps into me every now and then. She gives me strong eye contact and her pupils dilate when she stares into my eyes. She talks a LOT when she is with me even though I'm fairly quiet myself - she's always singing and laughing. She tells me I'm really intelligent. She has a nickname for me. Sometimes when we are sitting close to each other she brushes her leg against me and holds it for a bit. She really doesn't seem to mind me touching her. She plays with her hair when I'm around and adjusts her boobs.

I did not contact her for about 3 weeks recently and finally met up with her a few days ago. We had an awesome time, walked in a forest at night and she wanted me to hold her and make her feel safe. When I talked to her before meeting up with her she asked me if I now have a girlfriend. Oh yeah, she is shy.

I think that about sums it up but there are probably things I forgot to mention. Do you think she is interested in more than just a friendship? Is this her being friendly and too comfortable around me or is there something else to it? What would be the easiest way to find out for sure next time I meet her? There's no way in hell I would ever spill my guts out and sing her a song but I was just thinking of saying "I want you" when we are alone. Please give me some advice and thanks in advance.

 

[blueline]

seduction occurs on a non-verbal channel. never spill your guts to a woman, that's retarded and goes against the rules of the mating dance. hold eye contact with her deeply, don't say anything, and you guys will makeout if there's chemistry.

 

[Igetit!]

I've known this girl for about a year and we are good friends. We hang out lots and have fun together. We drove to far away places together, walked all over together, seen the occasional movie and even spent nights together - you get the idea. I've always treated her as a girlfriend rather than a friend and I never put up with bull****.

All that stuff you said about her bumping into you,having dilated pupils,adjusting her boobs,brushing her leg up against you,etc,etc....has all that been going on for the entire year to two have known each other?


And another thing....if you like this girl and have known her for so long,why haven't you made any attempt to ask her out yet?

I keep getting the feeling she has a crush on me but is too shy to take the first step.

She shouldn't have to make the first step.


You're the MAN here. So be a MAN and go after what you want.

With all the signs and signals you claim she's been giving to you,I'd been done made a move eons ago.

Do you think she is interested in more than just a friendship? Is this her being friendly and too comfortable around me or is there something else to it?

It's kinda hard to say.

I mean logically,yeah,from all the things you've said she seems like she may have some interest,but the fact that you two have been interacting with one another for a year without either one of you making a move just makes my spider sense tingle.

What would be the easiest way to find out for sure next time I meet her?

Well that's easy dude,just ask her out....on a date...a ROMANTIC date.


The instant you ask her out you'll know EXACTLY where you stand with her.

There's no way in hell I would ever spill my guts out and sing her a song but I was just thinking of saying "I want you" when we are alone.

Uh...don't say,"I want you" to her.

Just simply ask her out.


I know this though...you need to stop "hanging out" with her. If it's AFTER you've started dating,then cool,but if you do it BEFORE you've stepped to her and asked her out,you'll just lower your chances of dating her and raise your chances of being friendzoned.




Like I said before,you'll know for certain where you stand after asking her out,but going off the fact that you two have known each other for so long and nothing has yet to happen between you two,I'd say you're probably friendzoned.

 

[Kailex]

He's afraid to get rejected and lose a friend. Well, he's more afraid of being rejected than anything else.

You don't have to SAY anything, you just have to ask her out on a date, as Igetit! said.

All those IOI's mean absolutely nothing, because as you can already tell, you have no clue what she feels for you. You think you know, but you're still uncertain. And the first move is YOURS not hers. You make the moves. What's the point of her throwing out IOI's if you are not going to make a move based on them?

Ask her out. If she says: But... we're just friends.

You have your answer.
I'm more inclined to believe that she'll probably do that, simply because it's been a year and she'll throw out the probable speech of "We been friends so long". And btw:

I've always treated her as a girlfriend rather than a friend and I never put up with bull****.

No you haven't. If you would have treated her as a girlfriend, you would have treated her sexually, or are you non-sexual with all of your girlfriends? If you would have treated her as a girlfriend, you wouldn't be making this thread. There's obviously SOMETHING you're not doing to treat her as a girlfriend because there is no clear signal as to what the two of you are.

Just ask her out.

Then deal with the consequences, but stop dealing with MAYBE's. Get your answer. And please... don't say "I want you".

 

[horaholic]

There is no point in asking her on a date if they hang out a lot anyway. Come on, guys. A date is to get a girl in person and get to know her. 1. they already know each other 2. they hang out in person anyway. Asking her on a date would be stupid. Verbalizing his intentions would not be a good idea.

Just hang out with her again, and physically escalate. Grab her hand, and hold it. put your arm around her. Grab her face gently and kiss her. Just do it, and for the love of God, dont verbalize your intentions!

 

[Kailex]

Grab her face gently and kiss her. Just do it, and for the love of God, dont verbalize your intentions!

I'm all for this, but the OP has already clearly shown that he lacks the testicular fortitude to do such a thing. His list of IOI's include:

- She bumps into me
- Her pupils do this and that
- She giggles like a little schoolgirl
- Okay, so I don't know all of them and kinda don't want to look back up...

Point being, he's so concerned about the IOI's that he seems to be holding himself back. He's deathly afraid of being rejected and the friendship going up in flames. If he weren't, he'd already had cupped his testicles and kissed her already. He's already described multiple scenarios where they have been alone (seemingly) and he's done absolutely nothing.

If he's worried about losing her as a friend, I'd say the date scenario is the more plausible for someone who is damningly afraid of being rejected.

If he could care less, then the physical route would be the way to go. Personally, I've gone the physical route in the past rather than ask out, but that's because I didn't care whether I lost that person as a friend or not.