Friend / Relationship Question

[DarkChaos]

I've seen a lot of material on this site that describes situations where you are already dating a girl, or are opening one, but my question deals with a friend whom I'm starting to become attracted to. I can tell the attraction is mutual, but I don't have enough confidence in my guess to act on it; it's just a hunch.

We act the same as we always do, but there's this semi-awkward vibe where you're kind of friends, but kind of not, if you know what I mean. What I'm curious about is how I would go about finding out how she feels - as far as I know, just bluntly asking isn't exactly a good way to go about it, though I could do that if it doesn't result in us simply being completely awkward with each other afterwards.

My friends say that they think she likes me, based on her behavior. They joke that I've been dating her for a while without actually knowing it. She's always following me around, asking for my opinion or approval, and sets aside time to hang out with me, etc. and cracks jokes about how she'd like to "jump into bed" with me when I say I'm about to go sleep, but I see that as nothing more than innocent humor. As far as things that would constitute an actual physical relationship, there is of course nothing since I'm just starting to notice an attraction. The question is where I go from here, although I'm content being friends at this point. There's plenty others, after all. But it's a question that bugs me whenever we hang out, so I'd like to resolve it.

Anyway, I have no idea what I'm doing and probably am reading too much into this, so if somebody who's been there and done that could cast some light on the situation it would be much appreciated.

 

[Desdinova]

If you're going to make more of this situation, you must be willing to risk losing the friendship and any hope of dating her. You must be ready to drop her if things don't progress. DO NOT GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH HER unless you've developed a LTR with her. You should also be spinning more plates and be dating other women. If you're not doing this, you have one-itis.

The following tells me you're not ready to take this risk:

but I don't have enough confidence in my guess to act on it;

That alone tells me that you're concerned about what she'll think if you act on your sexual desires. If you weren't concerned about that, you would have already made a move.

 

[DarkChaos]

Well, let's say I did want to have more and was willing to take that risk. What would I do from there? I'd have to take a relationship that's already been set in one way and change it over time, but not so much as to immediately or abruptly throw it askew. I'm just not sure how I would go about doing that. Just go up and say, "Hey, let's go see a movie," and grab her hand? : P I could be interpreting it wrongly and most of her "signals" could just be the signs of a really friendly person, too.

 

[Desdinova]

Well, let's say I did want to have more and was willing to take that risk. What would I do from there?

Read the DJ bible and date more women. Find your answer through learning and experience. Anything I tell you may not work because you're already too concerned about jumping into a relationship with her.

However, experience will teach you what and what not to do. You already have one point against you: You're investing your emotional energy in her. To attract a woman, you must be willing to lose her as a prospect. This makes you a challenge in her eyes.

Remember, remaining single and dating her are both win-win situations. You benefit either way. Being single gives you the freedom to invest your energy wherever you like. Dating a woman will give you the benefit of sex and companionship. They're both good things, and you should be happy no matter what happens with this woman.

 

[girlsarecrazy]

Have you seen this girl outside of school/work?

If no, Ask her out on a date!

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Have you seen this girl outside of school/work?

If no, Ask her out on a date!

Something tells me you did not even read the whole posting.