Friend problem

[Ll Principe]

Hey all ...

Been a while since I posted, been kind of busy. My bad.

Anyway, Here's my story:

Stats:

Friend:

Name: Daniel
Age: Turning 19 this year, currently 18.
Relationship experience: None/ Non-existant
Current status: Girlfriend for 3 months
Player status: AFC
Mental status: Learning disabilities (not the brightest).
Looks: Albert Brenaman from Hitch

Girlfriend:

Name: Melissa
Age: Turning 16 this year, currently 15.
Relationship experience: None/Non-existant
Current status: Boyfriend for 3 months.
Player status: AFC
Mental status: Pretty normal from what Ive noticed
Looks: The girl version of Shrek

NOTE: Please dont comment on the looks thing , Yes, I know everyone thinks different from each girl, but im giving a UNIVERSAL opinion on both of them, okay? Please refrain from commenting solely on the looks part, as its not of importance to the question its more so you understand the dynamics of the type of relationship. Thank you.

Situation:

Knowing the information above... Daniel loves to go to the beach, drink, party, laugh, and generally always been the guy to make you laugh and have a drink with. Melissa on the other hand more of an introvert, into chilling and relaxing things like that. Daniel and Melissa have now been together for 3 months, first relationship and from what they have said they both "LOVE" eachother, you guys remember when you were 16 and you were "IN LOVE" , well , same thing. Blinded by everything else around him.

I asked him today, Daniel, "Is Melissa your world?"
Daniel: "YES YES YES."

I think thats says alot about the fact that its his first "love." and im sure its her first love aswell. Onward, a few days ago, she gave him an ultimatum.

Ultimatum: If you go out tonight with your friends to that party and drink, im going to break up with you.

Daniel fails to attend the party, obeying Melissa.

Next day:
Daniel does not
a) drink anymore
b) go out to parties without her
c) smoke anymore( he occasionally did)

These decisions were based on the fact that Melissa told me that same day when I confronted her about the party that she refuses , by the way, 3 months into the relationship to date a guy that drinks, parties without her or smokes. By all means we know drinking and smoking is bad, but she wont even let him have one drink every month. NOT A DROP!

Does Daniel want this or does she? She does. Like I mentioned earlier drinking is what he enjoys doing. Guys, please dont get into the fact that she is right and drinking is bad, for all intensive purposes pretend drinking is a good thing, its the fact that she is setting "boundaries/rules" on him, that if he does that or this, she will call it a day.

Little does Daniel realize that Melissa is as AFC as him but because of his learning disabilites and not the brightest guy he thinks that if he leaves her, she will get a new guy the next day and he will be at home crying night after night, little does he realize again that this wont be the case and she will probably be in a worse off situation because its easier for an AFC guy to get a girl than an AFC(shrek type) to get a decent guy especially if she is setting rules at the age of 15.

Well, Today I had a talk with Melissa and in no uncertain terms I laid it down on her , I told her what she was doing and of course at 16, blind to all advice, thinks what she is doing is right and that she isnt "forcing change" on Daniel, but Daniel is changing by himself, wow, I never knew Rome was built in a day? Did you?

Anyway, so now Myself and her are at log heads and arent speaking anymore and of course Daniel is now cross with me because I gave her a tongue lashing.

Was I correct to approach Melissa?
What should I have done if I was wrong to do so?
Some say, Let nature take its course, but what kind of friend am I? As a PUA isnt it my duty to help him out with all the experience and knowledge I possess?
Is she in the right for forcing change on him in order so Daniel can be how she wants him to be?

Comments...

 

[IKO69]

Issue is between the two of them; you may have jeopardized your friendship with either of them. But I know where you're coming from and this Daniel guy probably should've said what you did. It's always wrong when one person wants to change the other in the relationship; it's all about control. I always saw it as, "I was doing this before, so what's the problem now?" For any relationship to be as stress free as possible, the two people involved have to accept the differences/quirks otherwise you'll be miserable. So with that said, I don't think you did anything wrong per say, but, your friend should've handled himself with his girlfriend the way you did.

 

[typical]

You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink. Take that advice anyway you want, and butt out of your mates relationships, some lessons are learned the hard way do your thing improve yourself your mate will learn at his own pace.

 

[Obsidian]

it's your duty as a friend to remind him of his chumpish behavior and his obligation to be a man. But definitely don't overdo it. If he doesn't listen, tell him that you were just giving him the advice you would want someone to give you under other circumstances.

Also, you shouldn't have even bothered talking to the girl.

 

[Ll Principe]

Thanks guys.

 

[Play the Game]

"Beautiful maiden," answered Candide, "when a man is in love, is jealous, and has been flogged by the Inquisition, he becomes lost to all reflection."

-Voltaire, Candide