Friend has prob with gf - self esteem related

[silverwex]

Friend has prob with gf - self esteem related

hey guys

was driving around tonight with a good friend of mine and coming to the end of the cruise he mentioned that his gf was 'very quiet' tonight when he went to the cinema with her.

i stayed quiet about it, not wishing to pry, but then he came out with 'do you want to know what it was about?' obviously feeling in need of some advice. I told him to go on if he felt ok with talking to me about it.

the bottom is that his gf (one of the nicest, easiest going, attractive girls youll meet) gets down when he gives her a compliment. he asked me what i thought and i responed saying that maybe it goes back to her childhood - low self esteem problems and so on. he said that i was right but didnt want to go into more detail.

my question: what should he do/say to make her feel good about herself - if anything? i know its her problem primarily but hes her bf and obviously should be able to do (even a small) thing to help her on her way.

NOTE: shes not a physco, freak or weirdo. she seems fairly rooted and is always in a good modd whenever she comes out with the group. she has also improved lots in the past year and a half (looks wise) and she is a babe.

hes a great mate and shes a great girl - perfectly suited - can you give some advice? i told him id have a think about it and help him with this if i can.

cheers.

 

[StringShredder]

To compliment people properly, you have to pick some area that they care about, but in which they have some insecurity.

This is why we don't tell beautiful women that they are beautiful. They are already sure of that and hear those compliments from idiots all the time.

It doesn't apply just to women.

Suppose you know some great world renowned physicist, who happens to have a passion for playing the trumpet in some amateur jazz band. What's going to work on him? Telling him that he's a really smart physicist? Or that he's a wicked trumpet player?

Don't compliment people on the virtues that they are certain they posess, and don't compliment them on virtues that they are certain they don't posess, or don't care about.

 

[flexion_]

You never know what a woman is thinking so don't try to figure it out - you'll bang your head against the wall.

You have no idea if she is a psycho or not. The ghosts don't come flying out until the clothes come off. Why does your friend have the need to compliment her? She obviously doesn't like it so why do it?

And for all you know she may "not like" something completely unrelated to compliments. Maybe your friend is acting AFC to her and smothering her or maybe her cat walked around the room counterclockwise yesterday for all you know.

Regardless... you can't change people's personality so there is nothing your friend can do to change the situation if it truly is self-esteem issues.

 

[silverwex]

thanks guys