Friend Approval (Pros and Cons)

[Jack of Hearts]

I know its been said many times that if you can get the approval of a woman's friends then that is great but what about those women who have friends that they shouldn't be friends with? What I mean by this is that I have come across many women who have friends that just aren't very good people, both men and women. The kind of people that make you ask, "Why they are friends with them to begin with is beyond me." I don't know if I have just been unlucky so far with or what. I'm one of those people that prefers to have a small group of close friends that I trust instead of having many "acquaintances" that I barely even know.

The reason I'm asking this is because I was rejected by a girl who has friends like this and they didn't approve of me. Its funny cause she is close friends with some of my close friends but then she is also friends with people that are just completely bad and nothing like us. Its almost like she lives a double life at times. So what I'm asking for is some advice on how to deal with people like this?

 

[Evzone]

I see where you're coming from on this. I was once with a very hot girl who went to a different university, but all of her friends were...really weird. I'd like to say that I can get along well with most people, but things never clicked with her friends. I was always reasonably nice to them, but never got far.

After a while, things ultimately didn't work out between me and that hot girl, but really, I should have seen her friends as a red flag. You can tell a lot about a person by the company that they keep. If you can't get along with her friends, that might be telling you something.

 

[Nefarious]

You smell of oneitis.

I would recommend being friends with people you like. If you think they are bad people avoid them.

If you want to get in with a girl, its effective to become friends with her close/best friends.

BUT, if that person happens to suck you should avoid them.

DON'T be friends with someone you don't like in the name of a girl.

 

[Jack of Hearts]

Very good Nefarious. I did have oneitis for this girl. In fact my experience with her is the reason why I decided to stop being a AFC and improve myself. I've come a long way in the self improvement area. I lost 50 pounds and I am a much more confident guy. I wish I would have done that while I was in high school but right after high school I decided to change and work on becoming a better me. Now I'm looking to improve my success with women and I'm not going after the girl I mentioned. She handled the whole situation like a child and she lost the respect of some of her friends and myself for the way she acted. So I'm done with her. I just wanted some advice on how to deal with this situation if it happens again.

And I agree with you completely Evzone. The problem is that there are many people that have friends that aren't the greatest people in the world. I have come across many of these people and its always annoying when this happens. Especially when you have been respectful to them. I guess the reality of it all is that not everyone is going to get a long. Its just a shame when bad people influence the minds of decent people.

 

[catman]

I know exactly what your saying and also cant believe the people these woman hang with?Some of the dirtyest,laztest,and generally fvuked up people ive ever meet!! I think sometimes these friends were people that they have known for years so thats just how they are in the women eyes? Common sense keeps me leary of these shady people but sum woman lack this ability.I have expressed my thoughts about their friends (negitive) and they almost always agree that the friends are not the best influences but sadly remain friends with them any way?Perhaps some of the veterens of ss have ideas on this??

 

[Jack of Hearts]

Exactly catman. I know plenty of guys that are guilty of being friends with those kinds of people too but from my personal experience I have come to find that women are usually much worse at judging a person's character and picking good friends.(My mom is even guilty of this) It could just be one of those things that men tend to be better at or it might have something to do with how the genders think differently. Men tend to think more logically and women tend to think more emotionally. That has been proven with science. I just have a hard time dealing with douche bag guys and *****y girls that are around me which is why I'm looking for tips.

 

[Lexington]

I think it's quite a well-established fact that women in general are TERRIBLE judges of character. That's why it's very common to see women date complete a$$holes and then act surprised when a$$holes do as they do.

Having a c0ck-blocking friend can be quite an obstacle. I've run into this problem more than once. Usually, it's a female friend of her's that's less attractive than her and jealous that her friend is getting male attention. A lot of the less attractive women cling to attractive women and the last thing they want is a guy to come in and take away their hot friend.

This can be infuriating. It makes me want to rip the offending girl's head off. But, I think it's far wiser to take a deep breath, let your anger dissipate and then try your best to disarm the friend. It makes things far, far easier if you can befriend your target girl's friends.

Sometimes, that might mean that you have to put up with some annoying people, but it's worth it in the end. The last thing you want to have is her close friends talking crap about you in her ear. On the flip side, you definitely want to have her friends talking you up.

So, I say you should try and make a nice gesture towards her friends even if they are being b*tchy to you. Sometimes, when you catch them off guard by doing something nice for them, they'll completely change their tune about you.

 

[Jack of Hearts]

I get what you are saying Lexington but I just don't like the whole idea of pretending to get a long with people that I don't like. I know that mind set as hurt me socially in the past but I just don't believe in getting along with everyone just for the sake of getting a long. When I say that to people they almost always say, "Well I don't want to cause drama," And its not like I do but the way I see it is that its worse to let someone treat you like crap then it is to actually put up with their ****ty behavior. I think a lot of it is that I have just had bad luck with the women I have met. They all had terrible friends. I just need to keep looking for some that don't.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

You know life is so short to spend around people you don't care for. If I don't like her friends, I won't spend time with them, and in a lot of ways too it reflects her values.

If you're not digging her when she's around her friends, and her friends in general, this will probably lead to friction later on.

If you respect her friends, and her values in friendship, you'll probably respect her a lot more. And anyone who is wise in their choice in friendship, probably works to be equally as wise in any sort of choice for a relationship.

 

[Jack of Hearts]

Well said. Now I just need to find some women that are friends with decent people.

 

[catman]

Well said. Now I just need to find some women that are friends with decent people.

I will add that the few women that i have found that had decent friends didnt hang around a bunch of single women or lesbians or gay guys? Almost all their friends were either married or in ltr.My dad use to tell me if you lay with dogs you will end up with flees?I know what he ment by this now Ps i do not think i will find her off the internet nor in the bar?