"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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friday 5 mins

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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lemme be straight AFC for a couple posts:

one of the girls I like is in my homeroom, and we get to go to homeroom this friday afterschool for like 5-10 minutes to get midterm grades.
when I see her, I want to have a semi-memorable conversation.

my opener - "hey, whats up?"

next what should I do, compliment her on her hair/shoes/jewelry/clothing?
would that be a bad step? I should ask her what grades she got, if she hasn't asked me already (she talks alot).
eh the trouble with me and DJing is that I don't understand when to "flatter" or w/e and when to ignore and stuff.

I wanna make her laugh at least once. Anyone know a good joke I could tell her? or maybe something just random/funny to say. Ahh, maybe I can be ****y at her grades if she gets any bad ones (I'll be like "are you kidding me? you got a C in that class?? I thought you were the first female albert einstein...")

Yeah you know, I'm feeling like a desperate AFCish person because I'm not good enough yet at talking/conversation.
I need to practice more, and I want to get some good vibes onto this girl.

I don't want to end up in the spot of "I have nothing to say". Simple as that.

So how about some voicebox ammunition, pretty please?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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The Shocker

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You're already screwed. But don't try. Just do it or don't do it. You don't need to start out with much to get a girl talking, if she's interested in you (and why would you bother with someone who isn't interested?).

YOu: hey what's up
hot biznatch: hey
You:....(smile) so how'd your last semester go?
hot biznatch: blah blah blah
You:...cool, so you like bio/chem/etc. OR that sucks, so bio/chem/etc. is a tough class?

There you go, conversation. Making her laugh: no jokes, these rarely go over well unless well rehearsed and she's expecting one from you. Don't try. Just comment on something she says in sarcastic tone, with a smile. Don't put her on the pedestal, try to neg hit her.

OK, now you're walking out, still talking. You reach the end of the hallway.

You: Hey, I gotta go, but I'd really love to see you again. Outside of this hellhole I mean...(smile, and pulling out cell phone (NOT PENIS!)) you should give me your number and we can hang out sometime.
hot biznatch: Oh yeah that sounds great, it's ***-****

BOOM. Number close success.



P.S. Don't overthink it.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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I can't do the close# then because I don't have a cellphone..
 

Docs

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Haha.....you're asking us to write out a recipe for disaster.

Sheesh. As mentioned above, just do it. If you can't create any conversation by yourself (because even if we did create a recipe for you...you'd burn though it)...you're going to hit the awkward wall of 'uhh....I'm an idiot..I don't know what else to talk about'

Smooth buddy, smooth. So, just do it blind like the rest of us and DEVELOP SOME CONVERSATION SKILLS.

*ahem*
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Grand Wizzard Alamar

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I'll try to talk like a professional conversationist...
How do I get her number, like ask for it in a way that she'll be agreeable to... I've never talked to a girl on the phone, or asked for a number, and I wanna be cool about it. I suck talking to girls.. I always ask ****ing stupid questions, like I'm talking to a popular prep/bytch and ****ing up..

The girl who I'm talking to tomorrow in homeroom knows that I like her. Could this effect anything??
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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To add to that, her knowing that I like her is destroying all of my confidence... What a hit in the oneitis, I mean if someone knows that you like them:

should I wait until she doubts I like her? nahh thats stupid
but should I start talking to her alot?

I know djs don't care about a single girl, but I care about F**UCKING UP my chances with anyone. especially this one, who actually smiled at me before.

I have to be smoother then ever now.....

how do I ask for the damn number properly, and seeming cool.
 

The Shocker

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Write down your number for me; we can hang out sometime.

Don't think so much. Jesus Christ...If you f*ck up, you f*cked up. At least you got some practice. Some guys on here actually go out each day with a specific number of rejections they must get before the end of the day. This was they are LOOKING FORWARD to rejection and learn that it is no big deal. IT also takes the pressure off when you're "aiming" (but not really, you can't purposefully screw up your chances) for failure.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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Can I hold off on the number for awhile until I get some good conversing in?
This is just about me talking to her for the first time on my own, not really going for the big number...
 

nicenomore

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I'll add my two cents here on this topic:

Make your opener ineresting. "Hi , whats up??" is an opener that has been run over to a girl a million times and she would probably know all the various permutations and combinations.

Be different.


I personally follow the Mystery Method a lot and feel its the best and most comprehensive to know how to structure your conversation topick up chicks.
Go there , they breakdown approaching in a very comprehensive manner.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Lust

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Ok, this is one-itis, if it isn't yet, it's going to be.

You are overthinking this much, just for 5 mins of seeing her tomorrow?

Yep, one-itis.

You need to get off your ass and stop asking us specific questions, have you read any of the Bible? Doesn't sound like you have, 15 lessons by Pook? Read that first.

You are looking for the easy way around, asking us to tell you exactly what to do in this specific situation.

And it sounds like you just want the results, have you been putting in effort? Or just been reading posts on here and expect that they will change your love life?

You seem to be completely ignoring your Inner Game, and just working on "techniques".

I don't even know you, but i can tell that you aren't very confident, and that if you were in the same room as me, my ego would flatten you.

You need to work on your Inner Game first, before you will see any results, Confidence, Frame of Mind, Personality etc...
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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yeah I completely fu*cked up when I talked to her.

Me: are you hanging out with amy this weekend?
Her: uh amy? no
Me: can I have your number?
Her: ok
Me: do you need a pen or something?
Her: no I'll just give it to you online
Me: ok cya
I raced off and I think she said bye behind me but I dont remember so she probably didn't.

I gave her control of the situation and I didn't have a very good conversation (what I posted was like the second half of the conversation)....
I'm proud of actually persuing and following through though.

this calls for some improvement
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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I'm ****ing hopeless... I was talking to someone whos friends with this girl and my mouth is horrible.

bleach (5:50:47 PM): so do you like harmony? i heard you wanted to call her
me (5:51:07 PM): yeah i asked her for her phone number
me (5:51:19 PM): I dont have it though
bleach (5:53:04 PM): oh
me (5:53:16 PM): what?
me (5:53:43 PM): nothing wrong with wanting to talk to someone on the phone
bleach (5:54:28 PM): yeah i know
bleach (5:54:33 PM): i didnt say there was anything wrong
me (5:54:59 PM): well harmony seems pretty nice, I'd like to get to know her
bleach(5:55:02 PM): yeah
me (5:55:15 PM): only person who talks to me...

well she said brb and logged off, looks $hitty, yeah.
 

The Shocker

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OK you're fvcked. Take it as a learning experience. Basically, you lost all your cool once you entered the conversation.

NEVER ask "can I have your number?" It always leads to the situation you experienced: an awkward OK and then silence. Very gay. Always say "write down your number for me, and maybe we'll hang out" or anything along those lines. Never a question. Even "what's your number?" isn't good, because then she has to decide if she wants to give it to you and then do it. With the correct suggestion, she'll be stuck on the "maybe we'll hang out" part (YOU ARE THE PRIZE) and she will want to VALIDATE HERSELF TO YOU.

About the IM convo: You sound so guilty, like you're a child molester chasing a new victim. Remember, you are the man, you should not be ashamed of your masculinity and sexuality.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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Can I reverse what I've done? It's probably worth the effort.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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bigw

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Grand Wizzard Alamar.....No offense but that whole AIM thing was completely ****house.........

Especially the "only person who talks to me" bit. That makes you sound really *****....

Don't PLAN what you want to say, just say it on the spot and THINK. It's not that hard, you're letting your infatuation for one person get in the way of logical thought.

You don't love her, you're infatuated with her. If you're worried about losing her or getting her, you're infatuated. If you're confident and don't worry, you love her.

Simple as that.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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wow ok, so I'll just wait to talk to HER. I get it I think...
 

Kev07

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ask her out on the spot.


"so what did you get on your midterm/ watever"
"oh i got a B"
"wow not bad, you should reward yourself by buying me cofee/jamba juice/ whatever. i'm thirsty now anyway!"


obviously, you don't want to preplan, but ask her if she wants to go do something on the spot
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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Yeah I completely agree that I have to be more interesting with girls.
Where can I read about the truth behind C+F and how to actually do it.

I'm facing it.... I completely suck at C+F....... I keep thinking of things I could have said in this conversation....

eg.
me "look what my teacher said"
good thinking skills.
her "oh thats good"

Yeah thats because I'm the grand wizzarrd. And I can teach you to be a grand wizzard too, come hang out with me this weekend and we'll go over everything.

just an idea...... but my idea probably sucks

how should I go about learning good C+F and being able to use it instead of letting them take control of me?
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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uh at school I don't really hang out with anyone, just some smokers. Maybe a jock or two occasionally.

In my free time I really dont do much, just listen to music and stupid stuff. I like sports, and I would probably do anything like go to the mall, movie theater, out for walks in the park... idk, but I'm willing to do whatever, anything at all.

help me escape my wierdness!!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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