Uh...home weights? No. You need to be in the gym. Some quick points:
1) Drop all your friends and everyone who knows about you. It may seem hard but to girls who may know him, he will be talking **** about you. You know that. There is the LFN (Local Female Network) that works against you but you got to try.
2) Cut the weed. If it makes you silent like that, axe it. Parties are for ****ing and hitting on girls, not being silent in the corner.
3) Don't cry. During 10th grade, I admitted I cried at some points but I thought that was fine given the Feminization of society. I thought girls would see me as a great person. All it did was basically ensure that I would never get anything from them.
4) Cut the drama. No person needs to relieve stress by crying. I relieve stress in the weight room. Releasing anger into weights makes you stronger emotionally as well as physically. Crying to ease your problems would have been fine if you're 5 but when you're 15-25, its no longer acceptable. People create drama. As for my friends, some of them treat me bad but I just ignore them. It sounds like to me with you, you're just too much into dwelling on it and thus making drama. What happened with my friend is what I later called "Keeping *****es in check" because he needed to be given a quick reality check that if you go to far, you're going to get socked.
5) Become better. Only you can be good. Start doing some things you like. Social things. Not chess or video games or anything. Don't go to environmental clubs because those earth girls are off their rockers. The more social you are, the more confident you will become, and the more girls you will get. Its fact so take it.
6) Forget the past. The past blows. Even if its great and you're like sucks now, forget everything. Stuff ended for a purpose and the more you dwell on the past, the more time you'll take to get it.
7) Make sure your ***** stays at home. This emotional vomiting you're doing now is fine because its at home on a msg board and talking does help and its best you do it with as many people that you'll never meet as possible. If you did this **** to other people at school, you're just entering head first into AFC land where millions of AFCs stand around whining about how they're not getting laid.
8) Live life. I don't understand how people force themselves through mental anguish day in day out and become embittered later in life because they're too worried about their problems instead of what goes on well in their lives. You get one life, you should just spend it on living, not living to regret.
ignorance....