parkthebus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2015
- Messages
- 504
- Reaction score
- 148
- Age
- 37
Complete emotional control = Frame
It works with men as well as women. It will help you professionally or romantically. Your resting emotional state should be entirely calm and relaxed. People with often challenge your emotional state as a form of status establishing. You should always think about what you say before you say it.
I learnt this at work when I would speak to everyone and express myself without tact and people kept making jokes at my expense which still happens but only as much as it happens to everyone else, if not less. I decided to just not speak to them any more as I didn't like them and all of a sudden they started being nice to me. Like asking how I was and if someone made a joke they would laugh and then someone else would jump in to defend me and return a joke on my behalf. All the while, I sat in silence and ignored them. Soon my colleagues started trying to get my attention and listening intently when I did speak. It gives what you say more meaning because your words are rare and therefore valuable, just like the attention you're giving. You should never react to something someone has said just because you think that is what they are expecting to see. That is key.
The psychology behind this is called Intermittent Rewards. A good example would be slot machine, the most addictive of all forms of gambling. The idea is that by giving you a reward for your action every now and then (putting your money into the machine) you get hooked on the action because you know a reward is possible, you just need to perform the task enough times. Your brain is hooked on getting that next reward because by the reward being infrequent it becomes more valuable. You can also easily apply this to dog training or even teaching a child.
In regards to game, the best example is Alpha Vulnerability. She constantly want's you to show you care about her or are willing to be genuine with her. Do it too often and she will build a tolerance and become desensitized to it but if you do it every now and then, she will constantly be chasing that next emotional hit and when she get's it she'll get such a high that she's willing to do the work all over again for her next hit.
The easiest way to learn how to hold good frame is too say as little as possible. Don't speak to people just for the sake of it. Always think about what you're saying and why. You will begin to notice patterns in other peoples behaviour and you will understand why they're saying what they're saying. If you react intuitively, you don't have time to analyse their thought process. If you let them speak and reveal all their cards before you've even drawn from the deck, then you'll always be one step ahead.
It works with men as well as women. It will help you professionally or romantically. Your resting emotional state should be entirely calm and relaxed. People with often challenge your emotional state as a form of status establishing. You should always think about what you say before you say it.
I learnt this at work when I would speak to everyone and express myself without tact and people kept making jokes at my expense which still happens but only as much as it happens to everyone else, if not less. I decided to just not speak to them any more as I didn't like them and all of a sudden they started being nice to me. Like asking how I was and if someone made a joke they would laugh and then someone else would jump in to defend me and return a joke on my behalf. All the while, I sat in silence and ignored them. Soon my colleagues started trying to get my attention and listening intently when I did speak. It gives what you say more meaning because your words are rare and therefore valuable, just like the attention you're giving. You should never react to something someone has said just because you think that is what they are expecting to see. That is key.
The psychology behind this is called Intermittent Rewards. A good example would be slot machine, the most addictive of all forms of gambling. The idea is that by giving you a reward for your action every now and then (putting your money into the machine) you get hooked on the action because you know a reward is possible, you just need to perform the task enough times. Your brain is hooked on getting that next reward because by the reward being infrequent it becomes more valuable. You can also easily apply this to dog training or even teaching a child.
In regards to game, the best example is Alpha Vulnerability. She constantly want's you to show you care about her or are willing to be genuine with her. Do it too often and she will build a tolerance and become desensitized to it but if you do it every now and then, she will constantly be chasing that next emotional hit and when she get's it she'll get such a high that she's willing to do the work all over again for her next hit.
The easiest way to learn how to hold good frame is too say as little as possible. Don't speak to people just for the sake of it. Always think about what you're saying and why. You will begin to notice patterns in other peoples behaviour and you will understand why they're saying what they're saying. If you react intuitively, you don't have time to analyse their thought process. If you let them speak and reveal all their cards before you've even drawn from the deck, then you'll always be one step ahead.
