frame question

[Romjuan]

this situation actually happend couple weeks ago so its not really a big deal, however i wanted to know how everyone else would have kept their frame.
was out with one of the plates that i was spinning and i always assumed she was dating other guys too, however, while we were out the following day was brought up and she mentioned she has a date with another guy. i can honestly say i wasnt bothered by it, but i couldnt figure out how to react. I didnt ask about him or where they are going. i just couldnt say a word. it was almost like i ran out of things to say. i became quiet and reserved. dont know why. so now looking back im wondering what would have been the better way to handle it if that situation ever came with another girl.

 

[Pathgen]

Don't let it affect you and don't care. She isn't married to anyone and neither are you. Behaving like you do care will most likely turn her off.

Next time just say, "allright" and be done with it. IF you have another date planned feel free to extend the "allright" to something like "allright, then you won't mind if I also have another date already planned." You not reacting and responding like this might get her wondering why you are so ok with it.

 

[Kailex]

this situation actually happend couple weeks ago so its not really a big deal, however i wanted to know how everyone else would have kept their frame.
was out with one of the plates that i was spinning and i always assumed she was dating other guys too, however, while we were out the following day was brought up and she mentioned she has a date with another guy. i can honestly say i wasnt bothered by it, but i couldnt figure out how to react.

Are you so sure you weren't bothered by it?? I think you were... how do I know??? THIS next part.

I didnt ask about him or where they are going. i just couldnt say a word. it was almost like i ran out of things to say. i became quiet and reserved. dont know why. so now looking back im wondering what would have been the better way to handle it if that situation ever came with another girl.

Yep, you let it bother you.
That's why you got quiet and reserved. IT BOTHERED YOU and you let it show.
Over/Under on her actually NOT seeing anyone else and that this was probably a test... which... you failed.

Like you said... you should always assume that she is seeing other people, but by becoming quiet and reserved, you pretty much shot yourself in the foot.

You definitely let it affect you. You shouldn't let it... because like you said... you have other plates.

My question is... why are you asking this now if this was weeks ago?
I'm guessing you and her never went out again, and that she didn't even contact you again? Would this be a correct assessment?

And you keep the frame by not giving it any importance... shrug it off, pay no attention to it. Change the subject into something about you two.

And I don't get it... why did she bring that up in the first place?

however, while we were out the following day was brought up and she mentioned she has a date with another guy.

What do you mean the following day was brought up? Were you trying to ask her out on another date for the next day WHILE you were STILL on a date?

If that's true... then man, you were definitely in over your head. Usually women dish out the "I have a hair appointment"... "Have to go out with my girls"... "I'm gonna be busy"...

What actually happened on this date? Was it a date?

Sorry that I'm so curious, but, the whole thing seems so vague. The only time a girl has ever told me that she is going out on a date with a guy is when we're just friends and absolutely nothing else...

 

[thecurtainfalls]

This seems odd to me - you were able to recognize that this WAS a test/frame grab, and like Kailex said, there was a very decent chance that there was no actual other date.

Yet, even knowing that, you let it affect you. Never let 'em see you sweat brother... but it sounds like you learned your lesson for next time. No biggie.

 

[Romjuan]

Are you so sure you weren't bothered by it?? I think you were... how do I know??? THIS next part.

it honestly didnt bother me in a sense that she was going out with another guy. it bothered me that my mood changed...sounds weird but i dont know how to explain it. if she told me tommorow that she never wants to see me again, i would not be sad at all.

Yep, you let it bother you.
That's why you got quiet and reserved. IT BOTHERED YOU and you let it show.
Over/Under on her actually NOT seeing anyone else and that this was probably a test... which... you failed.

thats what i was thinking, which led me to this thread. so i am more prepared with another girl if it happend again what would have been a good response? as it was happening i immidietly became aware it was a **** test, so i knew to show i was unaffected, but it lead me to be quiet.

Like you said... you should always assume that she is seeing other people, but by becoming quiet and reserved, you pretty much shot yourself in the foot.


You definitely let it affect you. You shouldn't let it... because like you said... you have other plates.

My question is... why are you asking this now if this was weeks ago?
I'm guessing you and her never went out again, and that she didn't even contact you again? Would this be a correct assessment?

im asking now so i can see what would have been some responses or reactions i could present on another girl. we did go out again, actually weve gone out 4 more times, and that night when this happend we hooked up back at her place late night. i was just reading someone elses thread and it reminded me of this night so i want to learn from it.

And you keep the frame by not giving it any importance... shrug it off, pay no attention to it. Change the subject into something about you two.

And I don't get it... why did she bring that up in the first place?

she brought it up because i think we were talking about what we were doing the following day when she said,"ha, im an honest person and actually im suppost to go out with xxxx coworker bc he asked me out."

What do you mean the following day was brought up? Were you trying to ask her out on another date for the next day WHILE you were STILL on a date?

i was kind of drunk so i dont remember if i was asking her out, i think it was more of conversation.

If that's true... then man, you were definitely in over your head. Usually women dish out the "I have a hair appointment"... "Have to go out with my girls"... "I'm gonna be busy"...

What actually happened on this date? Was it a date?

it was a date. her best friend is my best friends gf so we went out for drinks on a double.

Sorry that I'm so curious, but, the whole thing seems so vague. The only time a girl has ever told me that she is going out on a date with a guy is when we're just friends and absolutely nothing else...

no worries, just trying to continue to grow