"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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ubercat

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Update
So after some static she s coming round for dinner tonight. And then we re meant to b going to a movie at the drive in. My cars a hatch so normally I back up, put the seat down and let the good times roll. But @Atom Smasher has got me wearing the brown trousers on this one.

seems like friend zone would be safest but if I do that after coming on to her she might feel rejected. Thoughts guys?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ubercat

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Well it was 3rd base on the couch. So I think we might have missed the LJBF station. She was showing some good Asian girl DNA. I lost my keys. So my cooking became Thai takeout and me having to break into my house. She mucked in cooked a dish with stuff she d brought and we shared my ridiculously small kitchen just fine. An Aussie girl would have ragged on me big time. So it looks like I m going to have to let the chips fall.
 

stevo

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You did good catching on to what was going on early.

I won't have countered with a different idea, I won't have flat out rejected her plan either (just so she doesn't think you're too stuck in your ways),
my response would have been, "that sounds like fun, I've had a rough week though and would rather relax with some good wine and conversation. Have fun at the concert."

Also another thing I do that might help you next time is - at the end of 2nd date, I tell them to plan the third date. (Hit me up, find out when I'm free and plan something for us to do.)

Some girls just want to be part of the process. You also get a higher value when they invest time and energy to make a date happen.

Lastly, there's also room to kino, no matter where you are.
 

zinc4

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Sounds like a pain in the ass...second date in public... Too much work and money and time man...

I just had a mskeout session with a new girl first date last night...coidnt get her home...

Screw that....

She's attractive but I'm nexting her for not at least coming back first date or showing extremely high interest....

Don't waste time on these moderately interested hos...

They either don't like u enough or are trying to use sex as a power tool to rooe u into more dates and a relationship...

No thanks.

Girl doesn't go back first date or just seems lukewarm...delete her number...too many other girls that you can click with better.
 

ubercat

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@stevo kino was more about the cultural issues. Also I don't know think this one dates much and my feeling was she needed more comfort. Basically at every level we ve reached I ve locked it in. So next date I ll walk up with strong eye contact,plant one on the lips and grab her in public any time I feel like.

I m curious - have you dated many Asian girls? I find you can break some of the DJ rules with them as long as you don't turn into a complete puzzy. For example I told her what the next date would be while I was on the date every time.

you've got me a bit conflicted now. I like your idea of telling her to plan the next date. But i d already half planned the next date and she d agreed to go on the back of my motorbike which has got to be guaranteed tingles.

@zinc4 at my age I m happy to be a bit more patient. I m looking for LTR material and I must admit I do give the Asian girls more leeway as they make better girlfriends. I ve pumped and dumped a few net girls lately so i dont think i m getting too soft. Although not giving it up on date 3 is starting to push the envelope. The big PITA is this chick doesn't drink

she did have an a very early shift at work today.

she was certainly wet enough and i got the 'dinnerbowl look' so I think my escalation was textbook.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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ubercat

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Update:
@stevo - thanks for the pm advice. Between your advice and @Scaramouche s I sealed the deal. Went out on a double date with boss and wife to a jazz club last night - good time.

And Nursie s invited me to her place on Friday to cook for me. So she s obviously up for round 2.

the great thing is that she goes back to China for a month so that gives me a bit of time to kiss the boss's wife s ass in case the whole thing goes tits up.
 
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