FR: The bytch farted.

[SamePendo]

You get the idea.

I was planning on ****ing this chick. 1st mistake, to "lower my standards". I wouldn't approach her or something on a regular day basis, but I got to know her through some time, and, well. She sounded like she wanted to get gunwitched. So I call her, and she says she can't, but that she really really wants to. Then texts me and asks when could we meet so that she comes over to my place.

So, we set up the whole thing. The excuse was to, you know, "watch a movie". Yeah right. The dvd player wasn't working and cable was out. When I saw her, I thought, "this is on", she had a shirt, and had it unbuttoned to show some cleavage, which is not normal at all with her. When she came in, I noticed some slight ASD. Whatever. So I'm pretending to put on the dvd and look shocked because it didn't work. But she keeps standing up. I tell her, to sit down on the couch, she didn't want to. She got on my nerves, she was like this little girl.. asking "why?.. when?.. who? " about EVERYTHING. I tell her again to sit down, calmly, I just nodded and gave short answers to her jabbering, thinking it would stop once we were on it. She sat down after I told her NOT to sit down.

She farted.



I could not ****ing believe it. I mean, it was like an alien walked by, I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. But it slowly sunk ito me... the bytch farted!!!

Still in awe, I said something by the lines of "well.. too bad it didn't work, maybe some other time we'll watch a movie". Giving a hint of her to go.

The ***** farted.

 

[BacardiGuy]

Well, can't think of much to say about this one.

So I'll just ask... from which orifice? :moon:

 

[Stoic_Mo]

This is hilarious! :rockon: LMAO


How loud was the fart, or did you just smell it.

Sounds o me like a psycho*****.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

That aint shyt my girl got drunk last night and wet the bed...... nasty azz.......

 

[SexinEar]

Awesome story. What was she in terms of HB.

 

[AngelusPUA]

did she leave?

 

[mpimpin]

thanks I needed a good laugh:crackup:

 

[Randomer]

lol, yea it is funny but from your posts... i seriously gotta ask you man, how old are you? Also... you didn't actually disqualify her because of the fact that she farted right? I mean... everyone does it, I'm sure she didn't mean to and I'm sure she was crazy embarassed about it but... surely you didn't think that she never farts? Females are human too... lol

 

[Eccentric]

You should've made a big stink about it. No pun. Especially if the fart was subtle enough the point where she'd try to play it off, like she didn't even let one out.

 

[SamePendo]

The fart sounded very lightly, I would have thought it was something else, whatever else, you know, there are many sounds that sound like a fart, but then the smell... puah! Kind of a "flopping" sound.

In terms of hotness.. hmm... 10 being the type that turns heads and the occasional boner, and 0 being a obese woman with no teeth and splots of hair all around her body... I'd say she was a ..5... maybe 6. I mean, she has teeth, , has nice body, but, just isn't attractive. As I said, I wouldn't approach her as I do approach other women. I had to watch some porn in order to get horny. As I said, that was a mistake itself. Never again.

Angelus asked a very good question. Yes she did leave the house.

lol, yea it is funny but from your posts... i seriously gotta ask you man, how old are you?

Oh it wasn't funny man! . Now, I'll tell you how old I am, and even send you my pic if you promise to send me flowers and be gentle :flowers:.

Everyone farts, but everyone craps too. Even smiling can be out of order in some situations.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

hahaha that was hillarious.

i was fvcking this chick for a little while, last month... she was pretty hot (hb 8.5) but dumb as a board and i wasn't all that interested in her except to sleep with... anyways, the last time i slept with her she pissed herself.

Everything got rediculously wet and i thought she might have "squirted" but this was first thing in the morning and suddenly the smell of urine (having not pissed all night) hit me... i was pretty grossed out and an hour later she dropped me off home and i have never seen her agian... fvck that ****.

That stuff just doesn't float my boat

 

[chevelle]

You guys acting like no big deal are nuts! Girls should never fart, burp, or talk about bathroom humor--it's both classless and sick! There is nothing worse then a barbaric female!

 

[Yorgho]

You must not have had sex very many times so far in your life.

I guarantee you that there will be some farts every now and then. It's really no big deal, either ignore it or laugh about it and keep going.

 

[Randomer]

Oh it wasn't funny man! . Now, I'll tell you how old I am, and even send you my pic if you promise to send me flowers and be gentle :flowers:.

Everyone farts, but everyone craps too. Even smiling can be out of order in some situations.

Ummm, nah that's OK, I'll trust you without a picture, there's be no point in lying anyway, so you gonna just tell me that you will tell me your age or are ya actually gonna let me know? =/ And I certainly wouldn't like a girl farting in the middle of my living room (who would?) I was just asking if it was the MAIN reason you asked her to leave. You gonna let me know? I'm afraid that if it takes sending you flowers though, it's not THAT serious for me to find out, I'm just curious... lol

 

[DivineNetworks]

Damn, this is sick man ... It's linga like to sh1t in the bed when making love. One guy told me a story like that. Grl ate something bad ant she just ****ted on the sheets :crazy: .. I know that "Sh1t happens" (lol) but after such "jokes" it can be a lil' hard to get a hard ..

Anyway, it seems that she wasn't worth fckin' anyway (why do u go such a lenght wth "6" grl in ya eyes at all..)...

 

[Cash]

If i ever marry a woman that farts. - That biatch is out the door.

 

[blinkwatt]

Use this to your advantage,blackmail her. No girl wants anyone to know that she farted. I smell a free lunch,courtesy of her.

 

[Embrace]

If youre seriously grossed out by her farting I think thats really weird of you.

Tease the **** out of her though, that could be some good stuff. But are you guys seriously turned off by a chick who farts? (All chicks)

Guess what! Chicks poop too. I know its hard to believe, but it's true.

 

[drummer]

Use this to your advantage,blackmail her. No girl wants anyone to know that she farted. I smell a free lunch,courtesy of her.

You might smell something else as well...

 

[DivineNetworks]

Guess what! Chicks poop too. I know its hard to believe, but it's true.

No way man!! U must be joking :nervous: