"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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FR: Somewhere, somehow I fvcked up this pickup

NewMan

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Happend last Friday.

2 points upfront:

1) I had been riding in the desert all day - 6AM left my house 5PM got home.

2) It was an open bar :)

So, Friday night went to a freinds Work's Xmas party.

Awesome place - Pretty much a Couple kind of function - but there were some single people there - not much to choice from in the girl department - but a sprinkling of hotties.

I get there, power down a couple of red bull's and vodka - just to get the energy up. Then I hit the beer for the rest of the night.

I finally spot this cute little blonde chick - she seems to be hanging out with another girl and two guys. But I notice her giving me some decent eye contact. I'm hanging out in the bar area with my 2 buddies about 10 feet from her group.

I wait it out.

About 15 minutes later the guys leave and one of the girls is talking to a new girl that's just arrived.

I make my move.

As I walk over, blonde is starting to sit in a booth that's close by - I stroll over and say "Hi".... as I do, she moves over in the booth, smack's the seat next to me and Asks me if I want to sit down.

I slide in.

Conversation is going great. She's ask's me if I work for the company - I tell her know, I'm a guest of someone - and she tell's me she is as well. Great.

So - a drink later - 30 mins go buy - and I ask her if she wants to dance? She declines. I'm like who doesn't want to dance....

So i suggest we go outside check out the view (for those of you from LA - I was at ahotel on Sunset Blvd, overlooking Downtown LA)...

She declines, tell's me it's a little to cold for her....

What the hell?

Well, after that - I figure this chick is just way to much work - and is definitely going to be high maintenance.

See you later.. and I move on.

I put the whole experience down to her being boring.... But maybe I messed up somewhere there. Who knows. Who cares.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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uniassign

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I think something happened during the conversation stage. During the "Conversation" stage, you are effectively selling yourself.

What did you talk about? Was she enjoying it? How was her body language? What about her friends?

Before you ask her to dance, see the sunset or whatever, you have to be sure that she is interested. No point going for something that is impossible (at that time).

Having said that, you have to keep in mind that girls are usually very closed off during work social events. They are afraid of getting a negative reputation when they are out with the work people. The girls she was with could be her work buddies. The boss might be around the corner. There could be guys there that wants her. If you don't work for the company and she is SEEN walking out of the bar or worse dancing with you, then her co-workers might TALK.
 

princelydeeds

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Not a knock on you but it seems like her interest level was low. it happens to the best of us. Pretty typical. Why worry? Next her and move on to someone else.
 

Desdinova

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This is what I would have done differently:
So - a drink later - 30 mins go buy
You were talking to her for 30 minutes. A bit too long. Next time, talk to her for 10 minutes or so, and then go back to your work Xmas party for 15-20 minutes, then come back to talk to her. Give her a little, pull back. Give her a little, pull back. It works well when you're in a social setting.

and I ask her if she wants to dance? She declines. I'm like who doesn't want to dance....
First of all, never ask a woman to dance. Lead her to the dance floor. Take her hand and say, "Come on, let's go dance." If she declines, say, "Okay, I'll go find someone who likes to dance" and go find another woman to dance with. Then, go back to the one who didn't want to dance with you!

If you've got good rapport and you're using c/f to warm her up, you shouldn't have a problem getting her on the dance floor.

So i suggest we go outside check out the view (for those of you from LA - I was at ahotel on Sunset Blvd, overlooking Downtown LA)...

She declines, tell's me it's a little to cold for her....
She just wasn't interested in you. Either your game is weak, or she was taken.
 
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