FR: Some semi-adequate approaches

[Skydiver43127]

Here are two unsuccessful cold approaches I made in a semi-conscious state. (first time I was extremely nervous, second time - sunstruck).

Sunday I was waiting for a person to go to lunch together, in front of a very expensive mall. I was hungry and this made me nervous, so I was pacing back and forth. Next to me was an attractive chick smoking a cigarette. For a second I thought I know her, but then I realized that she just resembles a friend. Eventually I got bored...

me: Hei, is your name ...?
she: nope
me: ah, ok
pacing back and forth some more, then I got bored again
me: waiting for a boyfriend?
she: nope, I'm just taking a break, I work here
me: I'm waiting for a friend for lunch. It's annoying.
she: heh, by the look of you, I thought you were waiting for a chick you met at Inet.
me: nope, I'm just very hungry and he's late.
then we got in some small talk about her job and the outragious prices at the mall.
me: Uf, I'm gonna wait for him over there, maybe I'll notice him sooner.
turning away, then looking back
me: hey, do you want to meet sometime, for a coffee or something
she: sorry, I'm married
some comment how I'm surprised (I'm 22 and I'm not used to women my age being married), but glad for her, then I really started looking for the guy (eventually I found him back at the place I was talking with the girl, but my bad waiting habits are really another issue )


Today I was travelling at the bus when I noticed this attractive (but not very stilysh, I should add) chick. I was sunstruck (literally, not by the chick ), so I didn't intend to approach, but she glanced at me a few times, so eventually I felt obliged to try. I moved to the seat opposite to hers.

me: Hey, do you work at ...?
her: no, not really (giving positive signals)
me: Oh, you just looked familiar and I'm currently doing some work there. I'm Peter, by the way
her: I'm ...
a second or two before I figure out something to say
me: So, where are you headed in this horrible sun.
her: oh, just work
me: me too, It really sucks. Look, I have to get off at the next station, but you look like an interesting person. Can you give me an e-mail or something so that we can meet sometime.
her: come again (didn't hear me, I was talking too fast and silent)
I repeated.
her: oh, no, I don't think that would be appropriate
Before I got off at the station I managed to learn that she generally likes meeting people, but in this case she considers it inappropriate.

In conclusion: Both approaches could have been handled better, but that wouldn't change the first (I don't think the girl was lying).

The second approach had more potential and would have succeeded under one of three conditions:
- if I hadn't hesitated and wasted so much time initially
- if I could make better use of the 2-3 minutes I had
- if the girl was more open-minded

 

[skip2mylou781]

GREAT JOB!!! i like how unlike most of these losers who do cold approaches, u actually TRY TO CLOSE! excellent work!!

fyi, make ur sexual interest known a lil better and ull have more success aka let her kno ur not just small talkign her and ur attracted to her (this works only if shes attracted to u to lookswise that is)

 

[Ace of Flames]

I really liked the first approach. It came off so natural. Too bad she was married. I'm sure you would have gotten the number, not a doubt in my mind.

Keep up the good work.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Brainstorming: objection management. <Disclaimer: KJing>

Tell her:

Let me make a deal with you -- pick a number from 1 to 10, if I select the right number you are thinking, then that means we are meant for each other.

Let her guess. Select 7.

70% probability she will give her your number, as it's a 70% probability she'll select 7.
(ESP test MM)

70% probability is better than 0% probability which you had before this creative rebuttal, any other rebuttal may be less probable than this one to work.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Brainstorming: objection management. <Disclaimer: KJing>

Tell her:

Let me make a deal with you -- pick a number from 1 to 10, if I select the right number you are thinking, then that means we are meant for each other.

Let her guess. Select 7.

70% probability she will give her your number, as it's a 70% probability she'll select 7.
(ESP test MM)

70% probability is better than 0% probability which you had before this creative rebuttal, any other rebuttal may be less probable than this one to work.

What the f**k is that?

 

[Ace of Flames]

Just a newbie trying to get into the conversation. Don't be angry at him. lol. Little guy...

But really Luke, that's out of place.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

What the f**k is that?

Mystery Method's ESP test and his claims about it.

Tried it on a date yesterday, and she looked at me with a ghost face expression when I guess her number correctly.

 

[Skydiver43127]

GREAT JOB!!! i like how unlike most of these losers who do cold approaches, u actually TRY TO CLOSE! excellent work!!

fyi, make ur sexual interest known a lil better and ull have more success aka let her kno ur not just small talkign her and ur attracted to her (this works only if shes attracted to u to lookswise that is)

10x, that's why I called these approaches "unsuccessful". It's a little sad most people think "Wow, I said 'hi' to this chick and she didn't throw her shoe at me" is a success story.

You're right about the sexual interest, but I don't think saying it verbally is a good idea in daytime approach. I like Gunwith's idea about imagining sex with the chick and conveying the interest naturally, but both times I was too distracted to make it work.

I really liked the first approach. It came off so natural. Too bad she was married. I'm sure you would have gotten the number, not a doubt in my mind.

Actually, it was the chick who should take most of the credit, she defused a lot of tension with the "You looked like you're waiting fo a chick from Inet" remark. The "Is your name ...?" is just a variation of "Do I know you from somewhere?", only it sounds more genuine. It's stupid, but it makes the next opener easier, so I use it when I'm out of ideas. (most chicks really remind me of someone, so it's easy to pick a name)

Mystery Method's ESP test and his claims about it.

Tried it on a date yesterday, and she looked at me with a ghost face expression when I guess her number correctly.

If magic's not your thing you shouldn't use it. If I had the time for such a trick, I would use it to talk 1-2 more minutes and make her feel more comfortable.